Automatic Doors and Linoleum Floors
If she turned her back to the sun, her body would be a jet black outline; a moving form against the mountain ridge. And if someone squinted, they just might be able to see her form against the sun.
But she didn’t. It didn’t matter much to her anyways. Rainbow Dash was never one to have cared about the scenery. She landed gently in the parking lot and looked around her, feeling like an island in a blacktop ocean.
With an indifferent shrug, she trotted forwards, past the parking signs and onto the sidewalk. The courtyard was vast and empty, adorned only with a solitary fountain in the middle. Concrete benches lined the sides, worn down from time and weather. Not unlike herself, she reasoned.
The automatic doors opened with a low hiss, and Rainbow Dash shuddered as she entered the building.
From the speakers played a lonely love song, the singer’s voice floating over a chorus of drums and acoustic guitars. The words were muffled by the mall’s speakers, echoing down the empty halls. The words floated up and away, meandering down the corridors before disappearing completely through cracks under the doors.
Empty stores stood at attention on either sides of the corridor, the ponyqueins in the windows staring forwards eyelessly like they always had. Posters plastered all over the smudged glass advertised low prices, displaying their deals in bright, fun colors.
The translucent lights overhead reflected on the perfectly mopped tiles, bathing everything in an inviting white glow. Above the central foyer was a skylight, and stray beams of sunlight passed through the glass undettered.
Rainbow flapped her wings, and in a few beats she landed on the second floor. From her perch on the atrium, she could see a large, open space, with a few pop-up booths scattered around. Tables and chairs littered the area as well, offering rest to those who needed it.
The entire mall was still, except for the escalators moving up and down robotically. The music paused, followed by an indistinct public service announcement reminding shoppers that they could be saving more with a membership card.
She took it all in from the balcony, her eyes lazily sweeping the floor. Rainbow stood for a few seconds more, taking it all in, before hopping over the glass railing and gliding back down to the first floor.
She landed gracefully on the polished tiles. With another sigh, she set off in no particular direction, her eyes skimming over advertisements without taking in the words. Through the shop windows, a sea of perfectly organized clothes stared back at her.
Rainbow paused as her eyes came across a large poster mounted on the wall next to the bathrooms. It showed a mare and a stallion hugging each other, laughing, while two foals played in the foreground. She wondered for a second what the advertisement was for before deciding she didn’t care.
The next store sold furniture. It had sofas and beds that were supposed to be soft and comfy, but the employees would never let anyone sit or lie in them. The store after that was a discount store, touting off-brand knockoffs at low, low prices.
Eventually, Rainbow came across the mall’s food court. Most of the vendor stalls were closed; their iron security shutters drawn and their lights off. Their signs and digital menus were still illuminated, the neon almost hurting her eyes. But on the far right side was a light, and Rainbow could see a pony moving behind the counter.
Rainbow hesitated, her gaze flicking to the rows and rows of empty chairs and booths, before she took a deep breath and headed towards the stall. Behind the counter was a familiar face, wiping down the top with a towel in hoof. Applejack looked up and smiled. “Hey, you.”
“Hey,” Rainbow replied awkwardly.
“Didn’t think I’d see you so soon,” Applejack replied. “You doing alright?”
Rainbow shuffled on her hooves. “I’ve been better.”
Applejack let out a low hum. She walked around the counter to stand at Rainbow’s side, before gently guiding her to a nearby chair. “Come on. Sit down. Let’s talk for awhile.”
“Okay.” Rainbow let her friend guide her, although her eyes never left the shining tiles. The pegasus eased herself into the chair and finally looked up at Applejack. “I, uh…” she trailed off, dropping her eyes again.
Applejack sat patiently and attentively, watching her with that same veiled curiosity she had when they first met.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Rainbow finally said. Her eyes studied the polished table carefully. There wasn’t a single crumb or stain marring its surface, making it seem almost unnatural.
They sat in silence for a long time after that statement. Eventually, Rainbow finally mustered the courage to look up and meet Applejack’s eyes. “Well, you’ve made it this far. Why quit now?” Applejack replied.
“No. You don’t understand. I…” Rainbow trailed off again, frowning.
Applejack hummed again, drawing a circle on the tabletop with her hoof. “What was the last thing I told you, Rainbow?”
Rainbow cringed at that. Her wings rustled nervously. “That if there’s a will, there’s a way. But--”
The mare laughed. “Dashie, you’re too hard on yourself.” She stood up, adjusting her stetson. “Walk with me?”
Rainbow nodded, and Applejack led her out of the food court. They passed the stores again, and Rainbow could feel the ponyquiens watching her move curiously. They seemed to be whispering amongst themselves, trying to identify this new intruder. She shivered as a cool breeze from the air conditioning hit her coat.
They paused in front of a circular reception desk, littered with papers, pamphlets, and coupon books. A balloon cart sat nearby, its colorful cargo stretching up towards the sky, fighting for release from the weights that held it down.
Rainbow stared up at the balloons, and a smile finally crept onto her face. It reminded her of something, but she couldn’t quite place it. The feeling faded quickly though. Rainbow turned away from the cart with a sigh.
“What’s on your mind?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow thought hard for a second. “I dunno. Just feeling lost, I guess.”
Applejack nodded. “You’ll get there,” she reassured. “I have faith in you.”
“Maybe,” Rainbow answered. “But… what if I don’t?”
They fell silent again, standing in the silent hum of the air conditioning and the ambient noise of the music.
“I won’t patronize you,” Applejack finally said.
Rainbow bit her lip. “... well, can you? Just for a second?”
“Why?”
“I just… I just want to hear it,” Rainbow whispered.
Applejack reached out and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Well, alright then. You’re strong, Rainbow. You’ll get through this. You’ve been through a lot already, but this isn’t any different. You’ll find your way.”
Rainbow didn’t like hearing those words. But hearing them come from Applejack made her feel better. Because if Applejack believed in her, then maybe she could believe in herself. “Thanks.”
Applejack nodded, and the two kept walking. Soon, they came across a set of automatic doors that smoothly slid open as they approached. The two paused on the black carpet, glancing at each other and smiling. “Feel any better?” Applejack asked.
“Yeah, kind of,” Rainbow answered. She stared outside, at the endless expanse of black asphalt, and at the mountain range that sat behind it. “Thanks.”
“Any time,” Applejack replied with a tip of her hat.
Rainbow closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “... see you soon?”
When there was no response, she opened her eyes to find that she was alone. There was another chime from the public address system, and a chipper voice announced that the mall was now closed. Rainbow sighed and passed through the doors, out into the parking lot.
The sun was setting over the mall now. The doors slid closed behind her, and Rainbow Dash stifled a yawn. She rubbed her eyes and sighed, a strange feeling brewing inside of her. She didn’t know what it was, but she held onto it.
It didn’t matter. Tomorrow was another day.
Eventually, she spread her wings and took off into the sky. Behind her, all of the lights shut off in the mall, and the building disappeared into the night.
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I don't think I really understood this, but I really liked it regardless.
Have a thumbs up.
:)
Pretty sure that Lightning is supposed to be Rainbow, unless Rainbow spontaneously became Lightning Dust for a second.
That aside, this story is wonderful. You set the tone well with the dead mall imagery, which I'm a fan of dead mall stuff anyways. These spaces that were once full of life, now just these empty cathedrals worshiping capitalism.
How does a writer that’s literally brand new, come out with a first story that rivals Anyone You Want Me To Be in one-shot deepness?
This makes my first story look like a piece of garbage, to be fair, it kind of is, but still, some of my best stories don’t hold a candle to this.
The tone was fantastic, and the implication that Applejack is dead was very well-done. It not only explains why Rainbow Dash felt lost, but why she suddenly disappeared at the end.
Considering this is a first story, and it’s amazing, I’ll be following you. You might have more to you than you seem. Or, you’re just a person with a natural talent for writing. Whatever the case, fantastic story.
Haha, I can tell this is not your first time writing - you do it very well.
this was stunningly beautiful and I was actually crying at the end there. I’m just wondering if this a multi-chapter tic or one shot? 
Excellent work, and welcome to fimfiction! Unless for some reason you remade from an old account then, welcome back!
This is a great story, I really love the imagery and the metaphors you used
is just one example of many brilliant paragraphs.
The story definitely leaves me with a lot of questions, which I'm assuming is the aim. I think the only thing I can really say critique-wise is that the bit where Rainbow flies up to the second story and back down feels really redundant. I get Rainbow's kinda meandering around before she gets to the food court but she basically flies up, stands for a minute on the second floor, and flies down xD. Kinda funny to picture.
Wild theory time! So, my first impression was that Applejack was dead, as did somepony else feel it seems. The mall may function as a kind of in-between, like purgatory I guess but maybe not quite. It's a place both dead and living can come, and if they connect right, they can see one another. If AJ is dead, than I think it's possible Rainbow is coming there because she can't deal with that fact, and perhaps it's even possible AJ is purposefully staying until Rainbow is ready to let go of her. Because I think AJ is that kind of pony.
I did also wonder about the possibility of Rainbow being the dead one but it didn't quite make sense to me. But, I do have a even wilder theory that Rainbow is kinda... Trapped in another dimension kinda, or another universe, because Equestria doesn't really have malls quite like we do. So one has to wonder where she could possibly be. She could be entirely imagining these meetings with Applejack to cope with her situation.
At any rate, excellent work! Look forewords to more in the future!
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but I’m interested to see where this goes!
Good theory! I still think it’s that first one you said because, yes, AJ is that kind of pony.
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What if the author just comes in, releases a fantastic story, and just disappears.
That happens far too much.
Wow... This left me feeling some kinda way
As a fellow author who enjoys placing Rainbow Dash in abadoned malls in the middle of nowhere, this story captures a very particular feeling that I honestly don't think there's a name for. It's that general sense of uneasiness, and yet of familiarity, that one feels in a place that should be bustling with life, and yet... Isn't.
I'm not going to try to guess what this fic "means" because I see you've posted a sequel, and my theories will likely change after that.
This is really beautifully written ❤️ I'm going to be saving it to read again later, when I need to disappear for a while.
this has got me FEELING things ..,,, the love..(?). , the yearn,,,, oh man oh MAN
I'm curious is there a reason all your fics are exactly the same length?
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the more we change, the more we stay the same
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Just did some digging on 1375, turns out it's known as an "angel number" with a very specific meaning. Here's a passage from a rather sketchy website I found on it:
So.... Idk what to do with that exactly. The meaning definitely applies in my eyes (especially considering Fiddlesticks' response), but I'm also inclined to believe that the number will only truly have a clear use/meaning at a later date.
EDIT: new thoughts occurring along the "angel" school of thought. In early passages of the bible, God is described creating the world, including details about what he did each day. Many people know the quote "and on the 7th day, God rested".
Anywho, Fiddlesticks is updating every four days it seems. Here is what happened on the fourth day of God creating the world:
(from a summary website, not the actual bible)
Normally, I doubt this would hold much meaning, but in the context of mlp it certainly makes me think of Twilight, Luna, and Celestia. Obviously we haven't heard anything from them so far... but maybe we'll see something soon.
EDIT EDIT: Might be worthwhile to comb the installments for typos. Oftentimes messages can be encoded into writings using typos. I may give it a shot later today
10265102
Second, that’s all kinds of interesting. I don’t I will ever not be surprised by this author’s very intricate details - it’s all so well thought out. Makes you wonder what other seemingly small details contribute to our solving the mystery! And, for me, it’s quite the challenge to write with a word limit, but they’re sticking to 1375 words every time, and the quality of each chapter is still great!
First, props to you for digging around and figuring this stuff out for the rest of us - it’s highly appreciated
I think it makes sense because each of the characters we’ve seen so far have been gently guiding her, like the angels in that description do, to keep at it. Ahhhh this keeps getting better and better! Thanks again for that piece of info Mushroom!
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I thought the same thing, that the other ponies in the Mane 6 were acting as angels directing Rainbow Dash to the best possible future.
How come these stories get better the more you look into them?
But for the record, I did some poking around, and whatever poetry Fiddlesticks has posted doesn’t appear in that unbroken form anywhere else. So that’s unfortunately unsolved.
We're back, gang.
Unless Fiddlesticks has pulled some INCREDIBLY fancy hoofwork, this original chapter is unchanged, as the ever-familiar wordcount is precisely the same.
I think we'll have to stay vigilant a while. Assuming we have the information correct, we should have access to some unpublished content fairly soon.
That, or the latest comments from Fiddlesticks' are drawing us into a circle. The story ends the same way it begins... Over and over.
But, somehow, I don't think that's it. Rainbow was supposed to make it out, right? There was a light at the end of the tunnel. An end in sight.
And I'm especially reminded of Windy's comments regarding having "been through it before, a few times at least". If she'd been through it before, then surely she'd returned?
What does everything think? Is this over?
10307963
check the blog posts. something you pointed out a while back makes a little return.....
10307963
already there.
count it out.
talk it down.
10307963
Seems like an ending to me but it is strange that it’s only 500 words - less than half what a normal chapter would be. And why is it called “Number one”? You think that instead of the end this is a prologue type thing? Maybe this is what started it all.
*Contemplative head scratching
10308023
There's more hidden messages, here. Try clicking around a little more in the latest releases... I'm finding some more mysterious messages
Nevertheless, I liked it a lot - but it’s hard not to like Fiddlesticks’ work
. I wonder if there’s gonna be a 500 word piece for each installment, or if this is the only one.
Your thoughts, guys?
We’re back, to where it all began. The mall. Like Dawn said, it seems like this serves as a prologue. It’s what happened before all this.
Regardless if we’ll have more mini-chapters studying Rainbow, this series is fantastic. Fiddlesticks did more than write stories, they used FiMFiction and made it part of the story. Everything from the word count, to using the unpublished view password features that nobody ever uses, it’s like they know exactly how FiMFiction works.
And that ending, we’re back to where we began. There seems to be a couple morals here. Provided that this is the last installment, history repeats. The cycle continues. Also, Applejack’s mentions of a secondary moral, don’t let change change you, is also another fantastic moral.
Whatever happens next, if anything at all, know that I’ve eagerly read all of these and will eagerly continue.
10308025
Really? Haha, and here I thought the mysteries were coming to an end! Seems like they’re just getting more mysterious. Thanks for the heads up
I’m confused about the story.