Stellar Flare is tired of waiting for Sunburst and Starlight to give her a grandfoal. She pays them a visit to motivate them to get to work.
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Oh, Stellar...you naughty little minx! What are you up to now?
Let’s be honest: we all want to do that to Stellar.
media.tumblr.com/52cea8464266170c7a52df45b1a94a21/tumblr_inline_mfi5vhwNQY1rtf8yz.gif
How about an story with an alternate ending?
Nice conclusion of a breeding Stud and his herd.
That title...it would fit so well into Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I think, due to how it's pseudo-medieval and there's a war in Part II. Surely the noble families would want heirs so their bloodlines and Crests aren't lost (especially with Lysithea, considering her shortened lifespan), yet the concept never gets brought up and all the female characters are still available for fighting purposes when they logically should be conceiving and nurturing heirs.
This really bugs me, since this is not how a medieval society would operate.
Anyway....
Typically periods/full stops (whichever name you like) are placed within the quotation marks, even at the end of sentences or paragraphs.
*From.
Of course not, you silly mare; foals don't pop out that quickly.
...Unless you want to see the CMC running amok in here.
Commas also go within the quotation marks.
...You do realise being forced into intercourse isn't the best way for a couple to get aroused? You're actively hindering the intercourse, you stupid mare.
In my opinion, Sunburst should "get a say" in whether Starlight gets pregnant. It's his semen and his biological foals, after all, and some men just don't want offspring - or offspring yet, in any case.
Removing his ability to say "no" is ethically and morally wrong, since he's essentially being raped.
Fuck you, Stellar and Starlight. Sunburst should be able to refuse, should be able to be the intelligent one and not let his mother's insane demands force him and his marefriend into a life-changing situation they weren't yet ready for. Stallions should have reproductive rights too, since it's their semen that's required.
*On.
*Your.
Look, this is not nearly the worst thing that I associate with Alec Baldwin.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-You do a pretty good job of making Stellar Flare need some cumuppance and then giving it to her.
-That first paragraph is certainly an ... efficient way to set things up.
-
for the school?" Starlight said
-- missing period.-
raised himself up o her
-- need I say anything?-
Good, now sit down and listen".
-- this story frequently puts the period after the quotation marks.-The lack of emotion and Sunburst being so passive is kind of killing the beginning of the sex scene for me.
-Pretty great impregnation scene.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 85/100
Allure: 75/100
Enticement: 87/100
Immersion: 71/100
Prose Quality: 65/100
Total Score: 383/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
At least Stellar Flare is better than Alec Baldwin's character* in that she actually offers some practical help with the task and doesn't just stop at yelling at Starlight and Sunburst. :D
*Although, to be fair, it's possible that character was just a motivational speaker and not actually a seller with experience.
This was great.
Well fans can decide anything on luster Dawn but I believe luster is an OP unicorn in the future
first