Regrets

by Script Singer

(7) Acceptance (One Year Later)

Has it been a year already...? I think to myself as I stare at my friend's gravestone. I'm sorry, Rose Diamond, I forgot you...

Twelve months. Twelve painful agonizing months since my dear friend had committed suicide. Twelve months of trying to let it go, and finally let myself heal. But, I can't seem to let it go.

I’m afraid that if I let go, I might lose a part of me. I might lose her. But, at the same time, I feel like I need to let go. I need to finally let the tender hole in my heart heal. I need to worry about my mental well-being.

"Rose, I want to come and join you so badly... but I know you want me to stay here... it has become so hard for me to find some reason to stay alive..."

It almost feels as if I have no other reason to live, no other drive to stay on this planet much longer... other than to fulfill someone's dying wish. But it's so hard to keep that up any longer.

I've already written my suicide note and left it at my house, considering trying to finish the job I was unsuccessful to finish before. I only came outside my house to see my friend's grave and to buy some rope.

I suppose I was also looking for some sort of sign for me to stay. Something for me to do with my life. Something to give me some sort of reason to live.

"Show me something, Rose. Show me why I shouldn't kill myself. I don't know what else to do anymore..."

I felt the soft breeze blow through my mane, sending a small chill up my spine. I had to decide soon, it was getting dark and the day was growing colder. I was running out of time.

I shut my eyes as I let myself become lost in my thoughts, wandering into my own world.

I found myself in a large open field. My friend Rose appeared in front of me. I stared at her as she began running away. I chased after her, laughing.

"Wait up, Rose!" I uttered. "I'm not as fast as you are, you know that!"

"Well, too bad!" Rose replied. "You'll just have to catch me!"

"No fair!"

Rose continued giggling as I chased her. Finally, I managed to catch up with her. I jumped on top of her, knocking her to the ground.

"Gotcha!"

"No way you could have caught up with me, you cheated!" Rose grumbled.

I only giggled and gave her a wink. "Who here has magic? I say you're the one who cheated, you goofball!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Well, too bad! I still tagged you, so you're it!"

"Hey!"

Rose continued chasing after me.

---

I opened my eyes, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stand remembering the times I had with my friend. It hurt me too much.

Finally, I had made up my mind.

"I'm sorry, Rose... Forgive me..." I said as I got up heading to the store.

---

I walked on the sidewalk staring at the ground as I walked back to my house, ready to finally end my pain. My mind kept wondering about how my friend would find me. Would they be able to stop me if one of them found out? It's not like it matters anymore, I wouldn't let them stop me anyway.

What will death be like once I accepted it? Will it be like it was before?

I heard a whimper in a dark alley pulling me out of my thoughts. Curious, I walked toward the sound, finding a pile of trash.

I looked at the shaking pile of trash in front of me, the whimpers growing louder as I grew closer.

"Is somepony there?" I uttered walking closer.

I saw a small puppy who cowered in fear. I slowly reached out my good to pick it up. It tried to scamper away but I caught it in time. It let out a loud whine. I gently cradled the puppy in my arms as I began softly petting it to calm it down.

I looked up into the sky with a soft smile on my face. The world can work in strange ways.

Author's Note:

I can't believe it's been one year since she did it... I miss her deeply, and will always miss her.

I wrote this story as an apology to everyone that I had hurt in the past year. I never should have treated anyone the way I did, and I'm terribly sorry for everything I did. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me and move on with your life.

Sorry if the writing sounded sloppy, I wanted to finish writing it today but I havent been in the best mind set this month. If you're worried about me, don't worry. I'm in good hands at home. I'm still struggling but I'm not the only one. I'm not giving up yet.

I also accidently published this chapter early but I officially published it on July 21st.