Regrets

by Script Singer

(4) Forgiveness

I lay in my bed, sound asleep. It has been a few hours since I had awoken from my nightmare. I managed to find some form of peace from my unhealthy habit. I knew it wasn't right, but it was the only way for me to release my pain.

I felt a soft breeze blow as my senses ignited. I smelled a large field in the spring with flowers in bloom.

When I opened her eyes once more, I found my friend standing before me, wearing a long gown complimenting her light blue coat and red mane. Tears formed in my eyes.

"Hello, Script Singer," Rose uttered.

I stared at her as my tears flooded my eyes. I struggled to find my voice. After a moment of silence, I finally opened my mouth. "Diamond, I..." My voice quivered. "I am so sorry! I never meant to hurt anyone the way I did..." I fell to the ground and hung my head.

Rose walked up to me and gently stroked my mane as a warm smile grew on her face. I looked up at my friend.

"None of this is your fault, Script," She said. "You were in a bad spot and didn't know how to cope with it healthily. It's okay."

I hung her head once more. "How can you say that...?" I whimpered. "I acted like a jerk to everyone... I deserve the pain and guilt I feel..."

Rose put her hoof under my chin, forcing me to look at her. "You deserve to be loved. You don't deserve this pain."

"I just hate myself so much for what I've done... I don't know if I can ever forgive myself... I could have stopped at any point... I should have listened to everyone sooner... If I just listened, you wouldn't have... You would..."

I couldn't bring myself to finish my sentence as more tears streamed down my face. Rose only hushed me as she pulled me into an embrace as if she were comforting a foal.

"I am so sorry!" Was all I could think of to say. " I should have kept in mind you were already struggling at home-"

"If anyone should apologize, it's me, Script," Rose said. " I should have been more understanding towards you, I mean, you had gone through something I wouldn't wish for anyone your age to experience. You could have gotten hurt, or even worse... You didn't know how to cope with the aftershock from it."

"But it's my fault that happened in the first place... I could have stopped, I could have done something to make it stop!" I looked at my friend as my face looked like a waterfall. "I wish I never listened to him!" I fell to the ground, exhausted from my sobs. "Why was I so stupid...?" I whimpered repeatedly.

Rose only continued to comfort me. "Don't hate yourself for your past mistakes. You must learn from them."

"...You sound like the others..."

"Because they're right. You need to move on."

"But I can't just let this go, it's constantly eating away at me!" Script muttered. "I've tried to let it go, but a part of me just won't let me... I feel like I'm not in control anymore..." My mane fell in front of my face. "What do I do...?" My voice shook with pain and frustration.

"Script, can I ask you something?" Rose said. "Why did you make up that rumor in the first place?"

My eyes opened wide feeling like someone opened up all her scars at once. "I-I... don't know..." I muttered softly.

"I think you do know."

I winced as memories flashed through my mind. More tears streamed down my face.

"Did you do it for attention?"

I only nodded, unable to speak. My sobs grew louder as I tried to find the strength to confess. "I n-never wanted t-to hurt anypony..." I wept. "I just wanted someone to actually care!"

Rose gently picked me up and held me in a tight embrace as I continued sobbing, gently stroking my mane.

"I wish I could just take everything back, fix everything do it would be the way it was before... Do something to take this aching pain away!"

"I think I know a way to fix that."

"H-How...?"

"You should apologize to everyone that was hurt."

"But...what if they don't forgive me-"

"Then they don't matter. Not everyone will forgive you, and they're not worth it if they don't accept your mistake. I know it's hard, but it's the truth."

I nodded. "I suppose you're right..."

Rose pulled me into one last hug as she whispered into my ear. "Rest now, your body needs its strength."

I felt my body become physically exhausted as my friend comforted me. I slowly closed my eyes as Rose gently layed her back down onto the ground.

Author's Note:

This chapter was based off of a dream I had the other day.

I do have the next chapter written, just need to edit it a bit.

Special thanks to my friend Tomo for proofreading this chapter