When a mysterious alicorn shows up out of nowhere and kidnaps Twilight's friends, it is up to Twilight to fight him to save them and the concept of friendship itself. But what this stranger wants is a bloodbath and that one of them will walk out of this fight alive. So sit back, relax and watch the greatest gladiator match in recent Equestrian history unfold before your very eyes: The Princess of Friendship vs The Lord of Enmity!
Written for this contest right here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/865167/writing-contest-win-free-art
Unsurprisingly, I lost. But rather than let a good story go to waste, I thought I might publish it for all to see. It was also shorter for the sake of the contest but, since I lost, I doubt it would make a difference to unabridge it.
This needs an aftermath. Like really really needs an aftermath.
9785459
I didn't really know where to go from after the good guys save the day (as usual). If this story proves popular, I might write a sequel about it (mainly because I have a good idea for a sequel, but I'm not saying what it is).
9785462
The only reason I say that is because the ending feels so abrupt. Like the final page was ripped out or something. Other then that I like the idea behind this.
9785468
Thank you.
9785475
He could be a great part in our team
9785735
I was considering him but we've already got one alicorn on our team. I felt it would make the team overpowered if there were two alicorns in the team.
Reviewed.
9802797
Thank you for the review. I always need a bit more constructive criticism in my life in order to improve my work (even though it hurts to see my stories get a low score but pain is part of learning) so that way, when it comes to writing sequels and future stories, I know what went wrong and how to fix it.
Honestly, reading the review, I now understand how I lost that contest this story was written for. Especially since the story was even shorter due to their being a 1500 word limit for the contest. Oh well, good thing I have my buddy Dmitri (who is a good writer in his own right, just read No Order In The Court) to edit stories for me so, when it comes to writing the sequel, I can count on him to make it better.
That aside, yes, I did enjoy the review and I'm still reading Paper Girl (although the fact that it updates on Tuesdays reminds me of a certain scene in a movie that would have been another terrible video game movie adaptation were it not for the amazing performance by this guy):
PS: The Street Fighter movie is still terrible. It's just Raul Julia's scenery-chewing performance as M.Bison that makes it stand out in a somewhat good way.
9802998
Aight mate. Glad to see you got something from it.
... Well that was an utterly pointless thing that happened for no reason in universe. Other than fuck reasons, that's why.
I liked it anyway.
9991347
Well, aside from the reasons being more flimsy than BvS Doomsday's existence (thanks for the constructive criticism BTW), I'm glad you liked it. I promise the sequel will iron out any problems the original had.
Also, one thing I have learnt while writing this story. Contrary to what I initially thought, I am not the Monty Oum of FiMFiction fights.