You can't prove my stories aren't good.
Sunset Shimmer had always known she was destined for greatness. She was more than a prodigy - she was a pioneer of magical excellence, to say nothing of her intelligence and leadership. The Crystal Mirror had shown her what she could become - what she was destined to become. An Alicorn. A Princess.
With trepidation, she approached the lustrous portal in front of her. Her hoof rested on the surface for the briefest of seconds, before she slipped through into the world beyond.
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It’s good to see another story from you. I look forward to seeing where this one goes.
could you link to this fan art
10044233
https://www.deviantart.com/0bluse/art/MLP-Sunset-shimmer-and-Sunset-shimmer-509462163
Sorry, there is a link in the AN, but it's not particularly clear.
Hmm... I have a few issues in this first chapter:
Where and how did Sunset hear of humans in Equestria? Is there a distant nation, an archeological record, only stories? That kind of unexpected presence needs a bit more detail than "she found a book one day."
Where exactly was Sunset doing her research? A library, I guess? But why was someone hand-delivering printouts of lab results there, especially when e-mail is a thing?
Remember, Sunset was Celestia's student before Twilight. Even if she knew of Luna, Moonbutt is still trapped in her Nightmare. Yes, this story has an AU tag, but as with Equestrian humans, this isn't a divergence you can just casually mention, then move on.
That being said, I'm deeply intrigued by this concept and I'm going to keep reading. It's just that you've glossed over some details that need a bit more explanation.
"Hay. Especially hay. I could really go for a hayburger, actually."
"Yeah, your long love affair with cellulose has come to an end, pony girl."
Other than your degree. Seriously, "forget your thesis" is anathema to most if not all people working on one.
Wow. I knew CHS was slipshod when it came to new students, but apparently seeing the principal is actually optional. You really do just have to walk in and look the right age.
Of course not, silly! If we understood how to use magic, we'd already be using it. When your alien horse counterpart said you were going to discover it, she meant it.
Again, you have me intrigued. "Where's the human Sunset?" has hung over Equestria Girls since its inception, and this may be the first time I've seen the pony actually work with her. Looking forward to more.
10061912
Damn, I completely forgot about Luna being on the moon during this time period. I'll have to change that line to something more appropriate, thanks for pointing it out!
<Wall of text>
With regard to Sunset's knowledge of Humans - in the sense of understanding they exist, but having little to no knowledge of their actual society, culture, ability etc - I interpret the existence of humans, like the portal, to be something known to Celestia, but kept a secret outside of selected individuals for her own purposes. It just seems unlikely that Celestia would personally own a portal to the human world for over a thousand years, but not even know they exist.
Sunset, not known for respecting her teacher's wishes, would be happy to steal books from Celestia if she thought they contained valuable information. Again, this information is incomplete - Sunset doesn't know the basics, like humans being bipedal, non-magical, etc. - which is what you'd expect, given Celestia is limited to studying them by proxy once every few years for a day or so at a time, barring any abduction and
probingexperimentation, which somehow doesn't seem her style. I would estimate the total Equestrian knowledge on humans to be limited to the equivalent of a few months of research, of which Sunset only had access to a small portion.I know that sounds absurd, but if we assume it took Celestia ~100 years to figure out how the portal worked (probably a generous estimate, given she would have had to stumble across its function pretty much at random) and she sent research teams in for 1 day out of 3 (assuming she did this every single time) every 2.3 years, the total number of days of research she would have would be (900/2.3) = 391 days, or around a year and a month of broken research, not accounting for any teams that were lost or failed to discover anything new, any missed opportunities, any false leads, and so forth.
In the comic The Fall of Sunset Shimmer - which I recommend as a precursor read to this story, given that it effectively serves as the prologue - Sunset manages to gleam some information about the portal, mainly that it opens every 30 moons, and that it shows her potential to be a powerful ruler. I doubt she was unaware that the portal lead to the human dimension, but I also doubt it mattered to her - the power the portal promised her was the only thing on her mind.
</Wall of text>
The problem of organically inserting all of the above into the story is something I aim to resolve as the plot moves on, but I never intended for Sunset's knowledge of humans to be part of the AU tag - that's mostly because of the presence of Shim and Sombra's alternate backstory.
Will you be covering all of the movies?
10072377
Not in this story, no. Maybe in the future, but for now, this story is focused on the leadup to the first movie.
Good to see Celestia as a reasonable authority figure.
The House of Quartz? Is Pinkie Sombra's descendant on her mother's side?
Ah. This CHS is already ripe for her manipulation. She just has to get her tendrils in.
"Damn kids think they invented smoking pot," Cranky grumbled. "And they can't grow anything worthwhile either."
"I'm still here, sir," said Wallflower Blush.
"And?"
Nice touch. Names so removed from words that they don't seem like they mean anything will be disconcerting to those accustomed to more straightforward noun phrases.
Great and Powerful? Probably not, but the possibility's there.
And the reality really starts to hit home for Sunset. Poor thing. At least she has someone in her corner.
Eagerly looking forward to more. Both Sunsets are in for some interesting times.
Calling it now: The charm doesn't recognize the other Sunset as a different person, so they can discuss everything that happened just fine.
10083093
Not quite, but a good guess. I feel that'd be too much of a cop-out.
I'm surprise you don't have more views. Also have a like.
"Did I mention that I'm not a witch?"
"I... don't think it came up?"
"Just making sure."
The original Principia? Dang. Good taste.
Watching Shim play Beatrix is a delight. She may be a shut-in academic, but she's still a Sunset Shimmer. Making people dance to her tune comes naturally.
Always a sign of good things and zero negative consequences.
Here's the question: For the purposes of the charm, does another version of herself count as "anyone else"?
... Oh. Well, I can think of a few other possible bypasses.
"The entrails thing really isn't helping your case."
"Sass like that gets me in a gut-tugging mood."
"I thought you said you were almost wiped out."
"I'll manage."
In an case, Shim made a friend! And hopefully she'll keep that friend friendly, sicne doing otherwise could carry some truly terrible consequences. Looking forward to more.
Probably relevant to note that I've also seen Ringo called "Skunk Rock."
"Yeah, I know. You'd expect it fron someone in the science department, but Mr. Discord always says, 'The universe is more interesting without chemical assistance.'"
That's both reasonable and reduces the odds of Wallflower snapping. Really, it was a mercy that she found a weapon that attacks the mind without harming the body.
(Also, kind of called it.)
Sunset may regret kissing Flash, but that's future, non-high her's problem.
And we have a loophole! Now comes the tricky part. One does not simply steal from the ludicrously rich... though Sunset may be able to barter knowledge for knowledge. We'll see soon enough.
Hmm...
Very interesting developments for both Sunsets. Shim's gotten a artifact for Sunset, but now Beatrix wants to close the portal, and I can't imagine the attempt will end well no matter what the outcome. And Sunset...
Well, a very charitable reading of what just happened is that she's making more friends. We'll see what she does with them. And if there's another force behind the scheduling mishap.
Oof. Wrong color of mana. I've been there. Always frustrating.
Definitely one of the better justifications for the teenage army I've seen. Nice work there.
And yeah, these two are definitely the same person. This isn't a friendship, it's an alliance of convenience. The question is which one will consider the other inconvenient first... though I think we know the answer there. After all, Sunset's referenced plenty of familiar moments, but we don't see hide or hair of Shim by the time Twilight comes to this world. Still, we'll see what happens.
This is indeed a disturbing universe.
One made even more so the idea of Dash's parents being disappointed in her. Yikes.
And that's concerning on an entirely different level.
Most intriguing note to end the chapter on. And that's not even getting into what Shim's research may have unearthed. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
The incomptaibility issue cuts both ways. Just as Sunset can't make use of the dark arts, Beatrix can't wrap her head around conventional horse magic.
Is it still foreshadowing if it's written after the future event it alludes to? Maybe anteshadowing. Or threeshadowing...
Oh, Sunset. Because of course actually telling Shim about the problem wouldn't occur to her. She could be working with whoever left the note! Never mind that Sunset has literally no other place to go or support structure. It wouldn't the first time she's burned bridges. Hopefully she'll realize that there are quite a few steps between her and becoming the Rich and Powerful
TrixieSunset Shimmer soon.As for Shim and Beatrix... this could go in a number of directions. Looking forward to seeing which one.
Huh, that's a weird insult.
Is this a crossover?
10283646
Nope. Does it feel like one?
It is truly disturbing to see Rainbow Dash's parents fed up with her.
That aside, you've created an incredible maze of uncertainties for Sunset to navigate. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this next.
Much like the rest of the unrest, the competition here's fierce even before Sunset came in. I wonder who the leg-breaker is...
Hmm. Between this and the electrified aura...
No, if this Pinkie were a Suzumiya-grade reality warper, this world would have a lot less grit and grime.
Chestnut Magnifico? Hadn't expected to see that name. Yes, the upperclassmen are rife with potential, but still. This likely answers the question of who's the current queen bee.
See, Dash? This is why Pinkie makes promises. Otherwise, she dumps dirty laundry into everyone's laps.
And some very interesting machinations are in play. I don't see the ongoing Shim-Beatrix power struggle ending well for either of them, or for anyone in their general proximity. Sunset has a lot to worry about. I'm just not sure which brewing problem will erupt first.
Wow, this was super fun to binge read. I hope that there is more to come soon!