Genius. Prodigy. Magus. Powerhouse. Unbalanced. Crazy. All words used to describe Twilight Sparkle at some point through her life. This is the story of her life, and of those close to her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Four excellent chapters in five days. I am absolutely here for this.
10201509
Some of my friends say I have turned into a machine.
10201511
As long as that machine stays properly maintained, I see nothing wrong with this. Your work is greatly appreciated, and I look forward (albeit with great apprehension) to seeing where this goes
10201515
I live off of injecting comments directly into my bloodstream.
You know, Cadence, you could still call it off. Or support the other side instead. Nopony can stop you. You have absolute authority right now. USE IT!
I’m now predicting a love-triangle between cadence, shining, and Rarity.
4 chapters in one week, a week that, still, has not ended. You absolute madman.
Thank you for your hard, incredible work.
Aiet, poor Shining's going to learn all the wrong lessons on this little excursion.
10201571
Yeah. That IS a good point. There IS still time to call it off before anybody on either the pony end OR the griffon end is seriously hurt. While most people frown upon somebody with absolute authority, in situations like this, there ARE advantages to it.
Literally ending a potential pointless war before there is any bloodshed at all is one of them.
10201679
That's almost a sucker bet. Indeed, it would be MORE surprising if that DIDN'T happen. Well, you MIGHT have to throw Mac in the mix for THAT one, which would make the math a bit more complicated.
And this guess is for more than a decade down the road, but another potential love triangle between Ember, Spike (who hasn't appeared in the story yet, but it's just a matter of time) and Gabby. Okay, Thorax could be thrown into the mix there which, again, would make the math more complicated.
And, once she recovers, Celestia might assign Twilight a bodyguard - one who has a son named Flash Sentry (the latter of whom Twi ends up getting pretty close to).
Hello there again. Once again, wonderful job on the exchange, characterizations and future chapter set-up. I have to absolutely love how you are doing so well with your inspiration. Again, I can definitely understand Cadance's incredible frustration concerning the circumstances (though, as other reviewers already said, there IS still time for her to call this pointless war off before anybody on either side gets hurt) and the details concerning the political complexities of the region are very well done. On the other hoof, I DID love Cadance meeting Shining in her "maid" disguise. That was such a sweet chat (which only served to increase how guilty Cadance is feeling and makes it all the more important that she pocket her pride and just end the potential war BEFORE there is ANY bloodshed on either end).
At any rate, definitely looking forward to more of this.
I'm glad that Cadence found Shining Armor instead of the brainless grunt she set out to find. I love how you show how complex Equestria is, and how ponies are not some beautific utopia of a species. Most cartoons are fairly black and white in terms of good and bad or in the case of older cartoons like Looney Tunes it's more about vaudeville slapstick than any sort of moral implications. And finally I don't mind if you go into detail regarding the war or sex in the upcoming chapters, the only times that those bother me in fiction are when it happens for no reason, it doesn't serve a purpose in a larger story, it exists solely for the sake of existing (if that makes sense).
I like how you work our expectations! I expected the worst and still got such a positive and delightful twist!
10201801
I agree with ya, and to the author, if you want to add the sex tag or any other go for it. You have the talent to take wherever this story is taking you. I mean really, this very good. However I do disagree that the war can be stopped now without some consequence. The time for that is before the mobilization was complete. Now with all the resources and pony power that has been moved and spent Cady is going to have to lose some very important political capital to stop it now.
Could always do those as a sort of side-story, like with chapters numbered like, say, "Chapter 11.5" to show where they fit between chapters in the main story.
Pretty sure I've seen other stories do it that way before, and with the side story in at least some of those not even a full cohesive story on their own, just the parts they had to separate from the main story to keep the main story's rating from exceeding T.
10201857
Ooh good point. Eesh I don't envy Cadence at all with the pressure she has been under. I'd probably crumble if placed in her shoes. Yeah I think I'd much prefer staying in the background making snarky comments about the ignoble members of the aristocracy thank you very much.
You could have a side collection of stuff that you want for your universe, but don't want in this story.
Or you could dance around it, a la "she felt a pleasurable ache upon waking" soft core stuff.
I thought shiny was being pulled for something special, not just Royal Guard.
Or did the recruitment drive fast track him? He's not known yet for power shield spells. At least I don't think so.
10201571
10201738
10201749
10201857
Like Titanium mentioned, once something like a war is put into motion there is very little that can be done to easily stop it. Millions of bits are being spent every hour, tens of thousands of ponies are simply working on the logistics of moving ponies thousands of miles. Entire fleets need to be sent new orders to move in and support the invasion, dozens of ships need to have their full compliments called up. Then, the troops themselves are being pulled from whatever more minor tasks they were doing in garrison, or recruited with larger incentives in droves. Then all of these ships and men need to be given equipment and supplies.
On top of it all, the upper workings of government are all working to plan. Things like this gain momentum from the moment they begin, and it is incredibly difficult to arrest that momentum without dire consequences politically and personally - think of it like a train. In addition, it is mentioned that King Jag'tar has already agreed to their aid. To back out now not only costs Cadance personal capital, but also costs Equestria on a wider stage.
The decision to begin the invasion was a simple choice that had little or no consequences compared to the act of stopping one that is well in progress, even if it has not yet begun.
If it is agreed to be a more common problem, I could break a little taboo of mine and go back to add a few paragraphs about this exact issue. I didn't think it would really be a problem, but don't want it to detract from the story.
10201679
Interesting prediction. Thanks for commenting!
10201700
Thanks. I appreciate the nice comments. It really is nice being able to sit down and do something I like at night for a change.
10201737
Here's forty bits on the drum, for those who volunteer to come. To 'list and fight the foe today, Over the Hills and far away.
10201738
Hearing what you guys come up with is really interesting. I'll say right away I'm not a fan of Flash Sentry, though.
10201749
I'm glad you think it was sweet, I really tried with that one - and ended up deleting it once and doing it all over again. The first time it ended in some action, but I decided that would have detracted from what happened. I think it turned out better.
10201801
Yeah. I agree that it all has to serve a purpose in the story, even if it is simply an emotional one. I'm really glad you liked the story and how I'm doing Equestria and its ponies. I've had alot of time to spend thinking about my version of Equestria, and it still surprises me people like it so much.
10201829
Well... It almost didn't go as well as it did. Cadance continuing her original plan and sucking Shining's brain out through his dick would have detracted a bit from the emotional impact, although in that writeup it never got so emotional. Glad I changed it.
10201857
Thanks! Glad you liked it. Political capital is extremely important in an absolute monarchy that has previously had a hyper-competent general and administrator at the head.
10201870
Yeah, I might do that. I don't think I'd like separating content from chapters, so I might just put an old fashioned break when the action gets heated and one when it's finished. Or I'll just leave it. I don't know yet.
10201911
Well, Shining's position will be better explained - but I'll say it's notable that he is moving around with the First Century. The push for war means that the better recruits of the RG were pulled out of the academy two months early, to bolster numbers. This will also be looked at a bit more in future Shining sections.
10201876
Someones realizes part of the problem.
It certainly is a bad situation for them, isn't it? I'm glad you're invested in the story.
(Missed replying to this one on my first run through)
I know it's so far off that it's pointless to speculate, but this is suggesting an interesting alternate setup for the Storm King's invasion.
10200487
Oof, careful not to go too wild, now. Though I can understand now that the story includes a direct mention of rape- child rape, no less. I mean, even going into it it was kind of pushing the line a little bit. So, the rating makes sense, at least.
Not enought Twilight in last chapters!
10202087
Ah, so you do know this sort of music. You've excellent taste if I may, who says heartsongs have to be about rainbows and personal drama? Equestrian marching cadences must be quite the sight.
Holy moly, I'm likin the speed of these chapters comin out!
10202175
Interesting idea.
10202194
The direct use of the word 'rape' is no reason to increase the rating on its own, I believe. Just because the word rape was never said, child or no, does not mean that everyone did not fully understand what happened. It's more of a preparation for future content, and it allowed me to do what I willed with the Cadance/Shining scene.
Edit: I gotta stop pressing post before I'm done. I just automatically go to press save.
10202446
I usually prefer the John Tams version of Over the Hills, but yeah. I enjoy all sorts of music, and marches hold a nice place in my heart. Back when I played Victoria 2 alot I'd just put on the marches of whichever country I was playing.
10202452
Glad for it! I'm literally working on the next one right now.
Well that's one way to have Shining and Cadance meet in this setting. And glad you kept the idea she finds his nerdy side endearing, like I said don't want to wander too far away from cannon an somfar your keeping it diffrent enough but not too diffrent. I am curious how the main six will meet in this and how they will become close.
I like this version of meeting. I wander where it will go.
That was heartbreaking and sweet. omg
10202468
lmao, that's alright, I didn't see whatever you sent the first time so we Gucci.
And I suppose you're right; it's hard to know for sure if references to this or that thing warrant this or that rating, though. (Also I was just thinking basic molestation/assault, rather than full-on rape. But I'm terrible with cues so.) But I suppose if you want to steer it in such and such direction...
Also, even if there's no actual sex onscreen, you can still add the sex tag, just to be safe, and especially for heavy references to it.
10202493
Yeah I liked how it turned out alot. Glad you're liking this.
10203073
Many places.
10203639
Glad you think so!
That is sad. I am sad.
10206645
"Great Britain has no permanent allies & no permanent enemies. Great Britain has only permanent interests"
Lord Palmerston (mid 19th century Prime Minister)
That ended up surprisingly wholesome. Cadence absolutely should have asked Celestia to overrule the order though. It would have undermined her regency but better to rile up the non-venomous snakes at home then send a group to poke a distant viper nest. Sunk cost fallacy I suppose.
Ninety-three thousand!? Did I read that right!? A 9 and a 3 followed by three 0’s!?
Standard Roman Legion consisted anywhere from eight thousand to ten thousand, not counting auxiliaries...
So, ninety-three thousand is like...fierfek, that’s like nine to twelve standard Roman legions!
Again, so very mercenary, however true.
Something was nagging me about this storyline, so I went back and re-read this arc. I caught the foreshadowing properly this time.