Genius. Prodigy. Magus. Powerhouse. Unbalanced. Crazy. All words used to describe Twilight Sparkle at some point through her life. This is the story of her life, and of those close to her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Bravo! Another excellent chapter! Also, is it hinted that Twilight is related to Luna?
good lord, Twilight is adorable!
Why can I only upvote once
i hope sun but gets a hold of that bitch that tormented twily and rips her a fucking new one im going to assume its shimmer
You need to work on not switching between tenses again and again.
I was far too enraptured by the story to have noticed any minor slips in tense or not. Far too enjoyable to nitpick over.
9601650 Agreed. Whoever it is needs their spine ripping out through their nostrils.
Was her parents in the exam room or not? It was clear they weren't there for the written exam but they might have been off to the side in the practical, like in the show.
Twilight REALLY needs therapy.
Too bad Celestia probably won't give it to her seeing as how she's still a neurotic mess years later.
Really wondering about how no one questioned a volume of foals being homeschooled thanks to trauma from one location.
9601974
You'll be learning more about that in future chapters, it hasn't even been looked into fully yet ICly.
9601930
I mean, this IS an AU. It's possible!
9601897
If they were in the exam room they would have been mentioned, that is sort of an important fact.
9601827
Well, I'm glad you thought so!
9601721
Like I said in the AN, I'm working on a solution. Talking to an editor right now and hopefully, progress will be made over the weekend.
9601645
Unfair, isn't it?
9601624
What exactly is adorable, out of curiosity?
9601614
Glad you enjoyed it!
9601650
9601838
Glad you two enjoy it enough to be so invested in the protection of Twily, an admirable opinion!
9602049
Celestia was already determined to force Twilight to undergo this exam despite knowing full well how psychologically fragile she was and kept it up even when she considered calling it off and just accepting her like she already planned to. Plus, given how much of a mess she is, I'm legitimately a little worried she'd try to KILL herself if she failed or even thought that she failed so as not to be a burden to her family anymore.
9601930
Neurotic mess, yes. still this bad? definitely not.
9602058
Your words are wise, Raichuman.
This story is pretty fantastic so far! It's my new (almost) favorite AU fic, right behind The Clockwork Consequence. And I didn't really notice the tense changes until I saw mentioned in the comments and looked back to see what exactly they were talking about. Some very minor editing will easily take care of those issues.
Keep it up!!
9601614
The familial link is very heavily implied in that single line.
9602123
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much.
This is great! I can't remember when was the last time I was so interested in a story. Can't wait for more!
The certainly a teacher or student that's going to face either prison time or mandatory therapy once Celestia finishes looking into that.
This Twilight certainly is a brave filly. And who knows, maybe the heavier trauma from this AU makes her teacher invest more in her mental well being to the point she actually becomes less of a mess by the time she frees Luna.
9601930
Agreed. She was already a little neurotic in the show, but here? She's so traumatized by whatever happened to her in school that she can barely function outside her own home. And whoever did that to her must pay.
Methinks other are getting too into the story and I can't tell if that is good or bad...
Either way excellent chapters thus far, it really does convey the emotions, tension and stakes running through out the chapters
Absolutely magnificent.
9602269
Good to see you're interested!
9602357
You'll definately be learning more about that very soon!
9602367
Well, I'll tell you she won't be the same as in the show by the time we get into it. Hopefully.
9602733
Happy to hear that. Always worried I'm not getting the emotions across, or I'm doing too much telling and too little showing.
9603957
Glad you think so!
9602058
And this is why, despite being an eldrich abomination whose actions are beyond redeemable in the least, I consider Nergal Jahad more merciful than Celestia.
9604864
Who?
9604887
Nergal Jahad. The Human God, 7th son of the 3rd of the Enth Jahad, He whose power be limited but sight know all, lesser god of destruction, Nergal Jahad.
Also known as, the god who torments mortals and immortals for fun.
9604894
...Never heard of him. Where's he from? Hellboy?
9604900
One word:
H. P. Lovecraft
9604900
Specifically the Cthulu Mythos.
>9604912
That's more than one word.
Well, there's an interesting wrinkle. As is learning that Twilight wasn't the only student in her class who retreated to homeschooling. What monstrosity did this to them?
In any case, definitely looking forward to more. Though that tense issue is pretty pronounced.
9607612
Working through tense issues at the moment, actually! I've grabbed an editor and we'll be dropping them soon.
This story looks promising! Can't wait for the new chapter.
9613382
It's just going through editing right now!
Hello everyone. Chapters one and two have been updated. Nothing fundamental to the story, but hopefully you will feel an overall quality increase that should be present going on forward. Enjoy all!
I believe you want 'its only tenet'. It's means 'it is' and 'tenant' is a person who rents space from a landlord.
Personally, I question the wisdom of stress-testing a prospective student who exhibits both such power and such fragility. She was well on her way to doing herself significant harm, once that surge hit it was only Faust's own mercy that kept the runaway magic from manifesting a lethal phenomena. That surge would never have been of such intensity if Twilight hadn't already been pushed to such a desperate state.
9623643
Yeah, if you go into the psychological meaning of the test Twilight was given, it's no doubt that it was a deliberate scheme.
First of all, the factor of fear and stress. She was given a cornered test, it was improbable-yet she was required to do it.
It's like telling you in a live or die situation that you had to fly with no aid and jumping didn't count.
The second half of this should either be changed to indicate thought (italicized or bold, preferably), or should be changed to third-person like the rest of the story. A good chunk of your story is written in past tense, but you seem to slip into present tense quite often. I still like the story, though; Your pacing is good, and Twilight's character is pretty well done.
HOLD EVERYTHING!!
Did you really think I’d miss this seemingly easy-to-miss detail?
"The next task was fell the smile as the suspicion itself was enough to taint her elation"
Valve Pls Fix
Well, this place seems to have an accommodation violation. Mental disabilities are still disabilities, and thus need to be accommodated. In Twilight’s case, a parent/sibling/guardian would be allowed with her.
I should know. I am mentally ‘disabled’. Can’t believe I missed this the first time around.