Genius. Prodigy. Magus. Powerhouse. Unbalanced. Crazy. All words used to describe Twilight Sparkle at some point through her life. This is the story of her life, and of those close to her.
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Since when was Shining an anime protagonist? He's in a love triangle, he doesn't know that he's in a love triangle because he is dense, and he has bullshit magical powers that only activate when close to death because of his ancestor. He may as well just start dressing in orange now.
10341419
That is an impression you could get from this, yes, but I assure you that his arc isn't going to end up like that.
I'm going to assume this is one of the reasons why Shining Armor was promoted to captain. (Assuming that he gets promoted in this story, I suppose.)
Ugly face of war.
Well,now i know that Luna doesnt touch her little ponies after her return.
So, how reconcile Celestia and Luna? Its very hard work for Twilight.
Ladies and gentlecolts, further evidence that Shining Armor is a damned idiot.
you'll be sorry...
Wow, that was quick. Those anime harem shenanigans must have attracted the attention of narrative causality. For as we all know, Fate is a bastard.
A fine shot really, and if you survive this you should take it as a lesson to never expose that white coat when on maneuvers.
Hey, we got some big voodoo going now. Let's see what he wakes up as.
So that's what they teach at the Equestrian war collage, brutal pragmatism.
Yup, really big voodoo.
I liked this chapter and the whole war part.
Shining going full Luna mode was nice. I like it when stuff happens.
Sadly we didn't see a cat fight betwen our little love...what ever this thing with three outward points and a center point is called in english.
Great work as always. One teensy nitpick, in the first paragraph when Shining Armor is trying to pull the wagon from the mud, you said something about his muscles going taught, it should be taut. This by no means detracts from the horror and everything in the battle to follow, just thought I would let you know.
On a side note, you might want to smack a gore rating on the story because of this chapter if this is liable to repeat. Otherwise, I would move a special note at the start of the chapter of the exception.
I'm sorry, I can't read this any more. This has stopped being about Twilight, and turned into Slightly Metallic Jacket. Some people will enjoy this, but I don't. There are hundreds of grim, depressing war movies I could be watching, if I wanted to feel hopeless and depressed.
Well, seems like luna is not as crazy as I though, good to know, hope a good ending and reconciliation comes.
10341707
I speculate Nightmare Moon will be forced to suffer addtional attacks from within when she battles the elements, along with a much more aggressive Rarity.
In the name of the Moon, I WILL PUNISH YOU!
Holy mackerel. Have to say, you did an excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Yeah, Shroud and Rarity BOTH took a liking to Shining (not that I can blame either one of them, even if Shining IS too dense to catch on right now) and are making jabs at each other (so far verbal, but the jabs would probably have gotten physical if Shining didn't step in when he did). And, yeah, he got nearly killed, but awakened some deeply buried power that allowed him to survive. But, yeah, enjoyed seeing pretty much everybody here getting to show their stuff in that battle. But, imagine how badly Shroud and Rarity are going to react when they find out Cadance has an interest in him too. That would put the ugly into overdrive.
So, the next few chapters are going to put the focus back on Twilight and Cadance, huh? VERY definitely looking forward to THAT.
Anyway, the chapter took a while, but was quite well worth the wait. VERY definitely looking forward to more of the story in general.
Wowie! What a chapter! Great read thanks so much!
Well that escalated quickly.
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The 'problematic regent' is Cadance. The war is being led by Lightning Thrust, an "it'll all be over by
ChristmasHearthswarming" type who thought that capturing a few major cities would be enough to make the rebels roll over. They're having logistics problems because the idiot in charge didn't plan for any kind of extended operation.I'm just speculating here, so feel free to ignore any of it if it's spoilers.
So... Is Luna Luna and not Nightmare Moon? Did she not become a Nightmare in this particular AU? Or did Shining reach out to the Luna portion of her? Or was it Nightmare Moon after all and she still cared about her ponies enough to defend them?
10341457
All in due time. He's a bit young right now.
10341523
Yeah... I'm realizing I fell into a horrible trap by making him oblivious to it. Will be working on that in the future.
Glad you enjoyed the chapter!
10341531
I, too, enjoy when things happen. Glad you like it!
10341571
Oh, thanks! I'll get that fixed.
10341621
It's not going to repeat in quite this level, I think. I wanted to get across exactly what Rarity was seeing in her first taste of combat, so a good bit of the worser details won't need repeating - if I even show direct combat in this theatre of war again. Like I said, I'm planning to focus less on the war now.
10341662
I perfectly understand that. Sorry the story moved off what you went in for, it was a bit of a surprise for me when I realized just how much of the story was the war. Thanks for getting this far, I'll miss your comments.
10341707
I like good endings.
10341725
Potentially.
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By the power of Moonbutt... I HAVE THE POWEER!!!
10341983
I'm looking forward to getting back to Twilight and the castle as well. I know most enjoyed the war stuff, it just became a much bigger sink of words than I anticipated. Glad you liked the chapter and action. I'm a bit worried that what happened with the Moon isn't quite getting across, though.
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You're welcome! Thanks for the comment!
10342357
Yes, it did.
10342401
Exactly right.
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Maybe I need to put stronger hints or something... Anyway, I can firmly say that it was not Nightmare Moon that he allowed to possess him. Luna and the Nightmare are distinct entities. Celestia thinks of them as such in Alabaster (Ch15), so this isn't much of a spoiler (I think).
Holy. Bucking. Shit.
I swear to God when Luna comes back she's gonna be fucking terrifying. If this is what she can do when channeling through a single Unicron, albeit one descended from herself, I am terrified of what she can do in physical form.
I am soooo hoping Twilight gets her own OP-Luna-Magic Bullshittery Scene, cause that would be insane.
I hope Shining turning into a harem anime protag is a one-time thing. Did NO one teach him how to talk to mares other than family!?
Hmmmmmm... I don't know why but I feel like this story has lost it's focus or maybe I just lost the thread in a vast sea of yarn for the words I read feel cloudy and lost of meaning.
10343536
I feel you. It's why I'm going to be refocusing on Twilight. I might go back later and consolidate these chapters down or something.
10343580
I kinda put the story on hold as I felt it was no longer what initially attracted me towards the story, that being a young prodigal (somewhat cynical or scared) twilight helping out Celestia with her inner demons and learning the actual workings of the world and getting allies and what not while Celestia and Cadence tried to help Twilight mend from a troubled past.( that is what the plot summary clued me into what type of story it was gonna be) I have my issues with and when stories cut away from the main protagonist but this comment is long enough.
10342891
I still think it prudent to put a warning at the start of the chapter, story description, or in the story tags. For instance
Are very distasteful for those entering the story expecting something else; fighting doesn't and often isn't handled so gruesomely in stories. Tags can help find stories but they can also work against stories too; the absence of a tag generally implies the absence of content that would warrant them, with "harder" ones being more frowned upon.
10342891
Sailor moon/ He Man response combo!!!
This was well done! I’m assuming here that shiny will be out for a long long time after near death power burn out goddess channeling?
As an inside I like the fact your showcasing your entire world and not just hoof waving things.
Would love to see a few chapters in each area as your doing now.
10344156
I can see the argument for adding a gore tag, but I dislike the idea of adding it for a singular chapter. I have an internal need to try and present these situations to the full extent of their reality. From Twilight's internal monologues to her dreams, to Rarity's first experiences with death - and inflicting pain and suffering on another living thing. I don't expect there will be alot more gore in the story because pointing this out, in this case, is to highlight and elicit what Rarity is seeing, rather than being about the gore itself - to give an idea of the imprint this event leaves on her mind. What she sees, what she will remember. I personally think it is covered by the Dark tag, in the end, because the story is not about the writing endless gore for the sake of gore but instead with dealing with and eventually overcoming the dark reality of trauma.
Maybe I fall a bit off-base with this thought process, but in short, I fear that if I put gore in the tags then there will be an explicit expectation that large portions of the story contain gore when that isn't really what the story is about.
10349167
I don't plan to wholly abandon the format of showing what the Mane Six are doing and how their lives are different, so you won't need to worry about that. I just feel like that the amount of time I spent indulging my desire to just kind of show off the world and delve into Shining's internal thoughts detracted from what I wanted to do with the mini-arc. In addition, I feel like it has gone on a bit too long? And in the end I ended up being a bit dissatisfied with how I presented the culmination of it.
Glad you liked the chapter and keep commenting, though! I really do appreciate it.
Great update
more????
10509916
More is on the way, it's just a bit hard to write. I lost my job and things have been pretty unsteady, and I haven't been in the mood to write really. Still, comments fill me with energy! Glad you enjoyed.
10510164
okay take your time, no rush, i hope you find a job soon, best of luck in these trying times.
LOL NICE SHINY NOW IM WAITING FOR TWILYS TURN WHEN THE NOBLES TRY THEIR SHIT
Well damn.