• Member Since 28th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen January 30th

Layri_Cheetah


Spiritual union of man and beast. Brony-writer from Russia.

Comments ( 47 )

Are you going to finish this story

9688803
Yes, this big story will be continued. Please be patiently, good translate from Rus to Eng - not fast process. New chapters be added ASAP.

Of course, you try to read story in original (russian) language with machine translator - see links in "Moon Rise" descripton. But this way is bad - more beatyfull phrases must be killed.

There aren't enough words in the world to describe this story. It is lovely, and touching, and beautiful, the crème de la crème, the epitome. It is wonderful, and it makes me wish I knew Russian so that I could read it in it's original language. I look forward to seeing the rest of this translated, and hopefully some more art amongst it's pages.

This, this is addictive. Please I require more at once! Lol just kidding, take your time. I personally know how much translating sucks, so please do take your time because I'll still love it all the more :twilightsmile:

Before I read this, I must know: Why does the human in the cover art look like a humanoid cheetah?

9694298
You can know about it in new coming chapters :)

Actually this man - cheetah's soul who live in human body.

Tabunyata protekli na moi angloboyarskiy oplot!

9698442
Ya ne jivu na tabune, chtob ty znal.

Sorry for long delay translate this story. Captain Plunder have a lot of work.

I'm hesitant to start this.. I understand that translation takes time but it's been over a month and that scares me. I've gotten way too into great stories in the past only to never again see another chapter be uploaded. Is this worth taking that chance? I'd appreciate any opinions anyone might have.

Yay! Long awaited update!

Chapters 4 & 5 uploaded. I'm so happy :)

Bonus - ch.5 have an original Celestia's song.

Captain Plunder, big thank you.

9807358
New chapters 4 & 5 added, please check this work :)

Dear English-speaking readers of "Moon Rise", please read this comment of the author of the original with attention.

The translator and I have serious doubts about the necessity of further work. The translation of a novel is a difficult task, and we do not see the appropriate response from the audience, when the chapters are being released. There are only a few views and no new comments.

The five chapters have already been translated. Readers, do you want to see the rest of the story?

If you are not interested in "Moon Rise", the translation will not be continued.

Best regards, Layri Cheetah & Captain Plunder.

please keep this story translating, really do enjoy it just take your time with the translations

I would love to see the rest of this. I don't know why many people comment, but it has been only a short time since you add this to the site. Keep posting and it should get more people reading. If you need to slow the posting of chapters, then do so, but try to at least post once or twice a month.

9859184
I noticed this story in the "Also Liked" section of another story I'm reading. I normally avoid the Gore, Violence, and Horror tag combinations but the story's brief description piqued my interest. I figured I'd come read the full description and a few of the comments to get a better idea of what the story is about. I have not read it yet but the story's statistics indicate there is some interest in it. Looks like it has 336 unique views out of 725 total views. It's sitting in 166 bookshelves and being tracked by at least 54 readers. Not bad for a recently published story. I think you should continue translating and posting it.

On a personal level, I'll probably start reading it. I'm a sappy guy who prefers Romance & "Slice of Life" stories. How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror? I don't mind it when it fits the narrative. It's when it's excessively written for the shock value that I get turned off to a story.

9862647

How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror?

There is very intense chapter, when powerful monster clashes with Celestia and Luna. A lot of violence and gore, really.
I will not spoil it further, but remember - it's really good mlp story, and good mlp stories are about friendship, love and all other sorts of happiness.
They make us better - much needed thing in our cruel real-world...

9862647
>I'm a sappy guy who prefers Romance & "Slice of Life" stories.
- Romance and "Slice of Life" in the first half of this novel.

>How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror?
- In second half. Also, in the main, its not real, only Luna's bloody nightmares.

Ok, all caught up. Man I want to punch that first human in the face so much. He's lucky he complied and Lairy knew his priorities. Had he resisted I doubt things would've ended well for him. The "meat" of the story is good so far. (Sorry, I couldn't help but make the pun.) The violence is balanced within the narrative. It didn't feel gratuitous at all. I'm not sure about Luna's reaction to the last video though. Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment. She'd be bothered by it to be sure but I don't think she'd be throwing up over it.

I don't speak or read Russian so I don't know how accurate the translation is but I do recognize some word choice or phrasing missteps my wife's English for Speakers of Other Language (ESOL) students tend to make. For example:

I have overslept my usual waking up hour, all right.

While technically it's not wrong but it doesn't feel like what a native English speaker would casually say either. It might sound better as:

I slept past my usual wake up time all right.

or simply

I overslept all right.

Another thing I noticed is no one is using contractions. Every one is saying "I am" or "I did not" instead of "I'm" or "I didn't". The former is stiff and formal; the latter is typically used in casual speech. All that will come with practice though. Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt. I'd volunteer if I could guarantee you the time. Sadly, I don't have much time at the moment. This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done.

9878515
Big thank you for your warm, big and detailed feedback. I show all your notes to Captain Plunder.

> Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment.
- Do you seen "Big Cats Diary" old tv-show or any other wild animals real life videos? May be Luna saw the hunt of predators from afar. But a close-up view with blood, flesh and bones - i think, is very creepy for a pony as planteater thing.

> Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt.
- Yes, we needed and we looking proofreader...

> This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done.
- Nice :) We try to continue translate this story.

P.S. My eng may be with errors, sorry.

9859184
A quick tip: try adding the story to various groups matching it. Latest Updates won't bring you much attention.

Сhapter 6 is fully translated and completed now.

Dear English-speaking readers of "Moon Rise", please re-read this chapter from middle to end.

Excellent story great work

i.imgur.com/Kv7qxOym.jpg

Ch.6 "Alicorn's everyday life" - update this chapter with new beautiful art by talented artmaker - Lusilie.

That was quite the philosophical update. The love and care they have for each other shown through pretty well. Lairy's last line troubles me though. I'm hoping they'll realize how deep their feelings for each other really is and see some way for Lairy to follow Luna to Equestria. Thanks for another update and I look forward to reading the next one.

10057025
Thank you for reading and watching :)

Comment posted by Layri_Cheetah deleted May 30th, 2020

Next chapters translate is canсelled.
Reason: no appropriate response from the audience.

10299783
Sorry, but - no. Its not back.

Its upgrade only - "Alicorn's songs" special bonus page added.

10265662
For future reference, we aren't notified when a new comment is made on a story. If you want to ask the readers something, make a blog post and link the story to it.

There was no appropriate response because the website didn't tell anyone that you asked something.

Poetry is much harder for translation than simple texts... Thank you for continuing the efforts!

10300982
Khem-m-m... Actual reason already writed, see links - (-1-) - (-2-)

10301197
Sad to see this not get completed. I understand that you feel that there wasn't enough of a response to the story. Maybe you can try and add a fue more chapters down the road some time. I still have a lot of stories that only update 3 or less chapters a year. I know I haven't posted much but that normal means that I loved it just as it is and nothing needed to be said. It's just I'm not that good with words or wording what I feel. Still it's your decision and I can only hope to see more one day.:fluttershyouch:

10301233
If you really want to read new translate this story, please mail to Captain Plunder - generator_rex@list.ru with your petition, Also you can contact him - deviantart.com/captain-plunder

May be this good man agrees to continue "Moon Rise" translation, but on his own terms. Just ask him

I'm saddened to learn the translation has been cancelled. I was enjoying the story so far. Is it continuing in Russian?

10351061
Yes, this story in russian still continued, already 18 chr-s online. Planned chr-s 19, 20. May be 21. Also special edition "extras", like as behind the scenes.

You can see story back cover - https://www.deviantart.com/lusille/art/Moon-Rise-back-cover-848818836

10420468
Wow! That picture says a lot! I'm glad to hear it is continuing in Russian. I plan on running it through Google Translate so I can keep up.

10422545
I'm flattered by your attention :) And glad to read about this your loyalty.

Keep contact with original story onto followed links: ficbook.net / ponyfiction.org / proza.ru

i'm very happy to say it!

"Moon Rise" russian story - finally ENDED!

7 years writings later, yeah :)

I'm liking it a lot, thank you for sharing this story!

Thank you for sharing your work with us and also a thank you to the translator.
It is a shame this is no longer being continued as I enjoyed reading this.
I enjoyed greatly how slow pace it was and the attention to detail without rushing anything.

Hope it brings some good to know this is still being read almost two years after it was translated.
Also I tend to comment on the final chapter of a story if I have enjoyed it.
Also I hardly even noticed at all that it was translated it was easy to read and enjoyable.
I probably won't partition just because I've made so many in the past which have never come to fruit.
Also I hope you and the translator a Happy New Year!

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