I would love to see the rest of this. I don't know why many people comment, but it has been only a short time since you add this to the site. Keep posting and it should get more people reading. If you need to slow the posting of chapters, then do so, but try to at least post once or twice a month.
9859184 I noticed this story in the "Also Liked" section of another story I'm reading. I normally avoid the Gore, Violence, and Horror tag combinations but the story's brief description piqued my interest. I figured I'd come read the full description and a few of the comments to get a better idea of what the story is about. I have not read it yet but the story's statistics indicate there is some interest in it. Looks like it has 336 unique views out of 725 total views. It's sitting in 166 bookshelves and being tracked by at least 54 readers. Not bad for a recently published story. I think you should continue translating and posting it.
On a personal level, I'll probably start reading it. I'm a sappy guy who prefers Romance & "Slice of Life" stories. How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror? I don't mind it when it fits the narrative. It's when it's excessively written for the shock value that I get turned off to a story.
There is very intense chapter, when powerful monster clashes with Celestia and Luna. A lot of violence and gore, really. I will not spoil it further, but remember - it's really good mlp story, and good mlp stories are about friendship, love and all other sorts of happiness. They make us better - much needed thing in our cruel real-world...
Ok, all caught up. Man I want to punch that first human in the face so much. He's lucky he complied and Lairy knew his priorities. Had he resisted I doubt things would've ended well for him. The "meat" of the story is good so far. (Sorry, I couldn't help but make the pun.) The violence is balanced within the narrative. It didn't feel gratuitous at all. I'm not sure about Luna's reaction to the last video though. Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment. She'd be bothered by it to be sure but I don't think she'd be throwing up over it.
I don't speak or read Russian so I don't know how accurate the translation is but I do recognize some word choice or phrasing missteps my wife's English for Speakers of Other Language (ESOL) students tend to make. For example:
I have overslept my usual waking up hour, all right.
While technically it's not wrong but it doesn't feel like what a native English speaker would casually say either. It might sound better as:
I slept past my usual wake up time all right.
or simply
I overslept all right.
Another thing I noticed is no one is using contractions. Every one is saying "I am" or "I did not" instead of "I'm" or "I didn't". The former is stiff and formal; the latter is typically used in casual speech. All that will come with practice though. Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt. I'd volunteer if I could guarantee you the time. Sadly, I don't have much time at the moment. This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done.
9878515 Big thank you for your warm, big and detailed feedback. I show all your notes to Captain Plunder.
> Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment. - Do you seen "Big Cats Diary" old tv-show or any other wild animals real life videos? May be Luna saw the hunt of predators from afar. But a close-up view with blood, flesh and bones - i think, is very creepy for a pony as planteater thing.
> Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt. - Yes, we needed and we looking proofreader...
> This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done. - Nice :) We try to continue translate this story.
please keep this story translating, really do enjoy it just take your time with the translations
I would love to see the rest of this. I don't know why many people comment, but it has been only a short time since you add this to the site. Keep posting and it should get more people reading. If you need to slow the posting of chapters, then do so, but try to at least post once or twice a month.
9859184
I noticed this story in the "Also Liked" section of another story I'm reading. I normally avoid the Gore, Violence, and Horror tag combinations but the story's brief description piqued my interest. I figured I'd come read the full description and a few of the comments to get a better idea of what the story is about. I have not read it yet but the story's statistics indicate there is some interest in it. Looks like it has 336 unique views out of 725 total views. It's sitting in 166 bookshelves and being tracked by at least 54 readers. Not bad for a recently published story. I think you should continue translating and posting it.
On a personal level, I'll probably start reading it. I'm a sappy guy who prefers Romance & "Slice of Life" stories. How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror? I don't mind it when it fits the narrative. It's when it's excessively written for the shock value that I get turned off to a story.
9862647
There is very intense chapter, when powerful monster clashes with Celestia and Luna. A lot of violence and gore, really.
I will not spoil it further, but remember - it's really good mlp story, and good mlp stories are about friendship, love and all other sorts of happiness.
They make us better - much needed thing in our cruel real-world...
9862647
>I'm a sappy guy who prefers Romance & "Slice of Life" stories.
- Romance and "Slice of Life" in the first half of this novel.
>How prevalent is the Gore, Violence & Horror?
- In second half. Also, in the main, its not real, only Luna's bloody nightmares.
Ok, all caught up. Man I want to punch that first human in the face so much. He's lucky he complied and Lairy knew his priorities. Had he resisted I doubt things would've ended well for him. The "meat" of the story is good so far. (Sorry, I couldn't help but make the pun.) The violence is balanced within the narrative. It didn't feel gratuitous at all. I'm not sure about Luna's reaction to the last video though. Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment. She'd be bothered by it to be sure but I don't think she'd be throwing up over it.
I don't speak or read Russian so I don't know how accurate the translation is but I do recognize some word choice or phrasing missteps my wife's English for Speakers of Other Language (ESOL) students tend to make. For example:
While technically it's not wrong but it doesn't feel like what a native English speaker would casually say either. It might sound better as:
or simply
Another thing I noticed is no one is using contractions. Every one is saying "I am" or "I did not" instead of "I'm" or "I didn't". The former is stiff and formal; the latter is typically used in casual speech. All that will come with practice though. Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt. I'd volunteer if I could guarantee you the time. Sadly, I don't have much time at the moment. This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done.
9878515
Big thank you for your warm, big and detailed feedback. I show all your notes to Captain Plunder.
> Celestia mentions that cheetahs exist in Equestria. Surely Luna has seen that or worse prior to her banishment.
- Do you seen "Big Cats Diary" old tv-show or any other wild animals real life videos? May be Luna saw the hunt of predators from afar. But a close-up view with blood, flesh and bones - i think, is very creepy for a pony as planteater thing.
> Getting another Editor or Proofreader; preferably a native English speaker, wouldn't hurt.
- Yes, we needed and we looking proofreader...
> This is shaping up to be a lovely story. I wish it to continue and succeed. Keep it up and I look forward to reading the next chapter when it's done.
- Nice :) We try to continue translate this story.
P.S. My eng may be with errors, sorry.
9859184
A quick tip: try adding the story to various groups matching it. Latest Updates won't bring you much attention.
9888260
thank you for tip, i'll try it.
Сhapter 6 is fully translated and completed now.
Dear English-speaking readers of "Moon Rise", please re-read this chapter from middle to end.