Always On A Monday, Isn't It?
*knock-knock-knock!*
Always three times, Sunset Shimmer thought as she slowly lolled her head towards her front door, her body refusing to shift amidst the navy blue couch it had set itself upon, the inanity of Monday afternoon syndicated television droning in the background, drowned out somewhat by the oscillating fan pointed toward the kitchen, as well as the soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof – at least there were no leaks today.
“It’s open!” called out Sunset with all the enthusiasm of a prisoner making his way to the gallows.
The door creaked open to reveal, to Sunset’s utter lack of shock, Rarity.
“Always three times,” Sunset said aloud, but softly.
Rarity entered the apartment, taking care to remove her wet boots, placing them just inside the door, and hung her purple umbrella on a conveniently placed coat-rack next to one of Sunset’s jackets so the remainder of the excess water could drip harmlessly onto the the carpet. She walked up to Sunset and, unbidden, knelt down next to her.
Sunset turned to meet Rarity’s gaze, sidelong. Her piercing aquamarine eyes, while not bloodshot, conveyed a sense of utter weariness. Her mouth seemed frozen in a perpetual frown. She blinked, slowly.
“What can I do for you?” asked Sunset with as little intonation as possible. “Don’t you have work this afternoon?”
Rarity pursed her lips. “Not for over half an hour yet. What’s more important is that you skipped school today.”
“So? It’s not like I’m required to be there.”
“I missed you,” Rarity mumbled, her lips in full pout.
Sunset rolled her head back to its original position: staring straight up at the ceiling. “It’s only been, what?, two, three days since the last time we saw each other.”
“It feels like we haven’t truly spoken in eleven months!” Rarity said emphatically enough Sunset flinched for a second before re-assuming her torpor.
“Always one for drama, you are,” Sunset replied, her tone intentionally as droning as the fan.
Rarity stared at the oscillating floor fan pointed away from them. “Aren’t you cold?” she asked.
Sunset shook her head. “I’ve got two blankets here, plus extra support,” she lazily gestured to the pillow she had placed under her head and slowly lifted her legs to reveal the other plus a sofa cushion propping her lower half up. She had also covered the couch in a fitted sheet. “Laying in bed had become tiresome, so I repurposed Old Charley here.”
“Of course you would name your cou—” Rarity suddenly went quiet, her cheeks turning a deep crimson.
“What?” asked Sunset with absolutely no interest.
“Um,” Rarity said, twiddling her thumbs, “I can see your, uh, shoulders are bare. What are you, er, wearing underneath those blankets?”
“Nothing,” replied Sunset matter-of-factly. “Everything’s dirty and I just didn’t feel like dressing. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
“But that’s just it,” Rarity said, her blush deepening. “Shouldn’t you?”
“Shouldn’t I what?” inquired Sunset listlessly.
“Get out? Do something? You know they asked about you today.”
Sunset slowly nodded. “No doubt, and I’m sorry for making anyone worry. But I just couldn’t do it today.”
Rarity bore a look of befuddlement. “What do you mean? I thought you had conquered this ‘being afraid of dealing with people’ problem.”
At that, Sunset sighed. “That’s not it at all. I’m not afraid to face people – most of them anyway. I simply can’t physically bring myself to put forth any effort today.”
“…Why?” Rarity asked softly.
Sunset attempted a wan smile but failed. “It’s just part of what I am. Sure, I’m nowhere near the suicidal wreck you encountered a couple months ago, but I’ll be the first to tell you my mind is far from operating at one hundred percent. If my brain is equivalent to an eight-cylinder engine, I have maybe three to five firing, at most. This just happens to be one of my down days.”
Rarity rubbed her chin. “Is it the weather? Spring gloom can bring a lot of people down.”
“No,” Sunset shook her head. “It’s not the rain – I like it actually… so long as the roof doesn’t leak. It’s nothing you or anyone else did. There was no ‘trigger’, as you might call it. It simply is. I feel like this sometimes and, when I do, I just need to be away from others for awhile. This too shall pass and I’ll be back to normal (at least by my standards) soon enough.”
“Perhaps you should see a doctor and try some proper therapy?” Rarity said gently.
Sunset tried to chuckle but it came off as more of a scoff. “Trust me, I’d love to. You may not believe it, but I do have the funds squirrelled away to cover an intake session even without insurance, but…”
“You don’t have…?”
“Illegal immigrant, remember?” Sunset interjected, explaining as if this was the most obvious thing in the multiverse. “No insurance company will cover an Alien – literal in this case – like me. All the laws governing insurance and hospital rights only apply to Citizens… and of all the fake ID’s I have, none are a birth certificate. So, unless I can get into a charity clinic – and boy are the waiting lists long for those places – I’m basically left to my own devices. Huge shift from when I was living with the Princess and had access to the best doctors in Equestria without needing to spend a single Bit. But, you know, this is my reward.”
“Even so, I worry about you so, so much, darling. I wish you would actually open up and talk to me without my having to make the first move.”
Sunset chuckled. “You know, just now you sounded like a young mare I lived near back in the old days: Cadance. She went by Caddy. A couple years older than me. Bunked in the tower just across the palace grounds from me. She’s a Princess too, or was being groomed for possibly taking up a position of authority, which it turns out she finally did. Nicest, sweetest girl in Canterlot. I hated her.”
“Sunset?”
“When one is down and unable to get professional help – or even if one is receiving therapy and/or medication,” Sunset explained, lazily waving her left arm, “it is inevitable one’s mind will sometimes turn to the past to relive all the mistakes made. Not just the big ones. Small things: the should-haves and could-haves that, when added up, compile a multitude of sins.”
“But that’s…” Rarity attempted to say but could not find the words to finish her thought.
“No, that’s not what’s weighing me down; it’s just what I think about when I’m already in a funk.”
“It’s not healthy to dwell,” insisted Rarity.
“No. It’s not,” Sunset agreed. “I can’t really help it. Look over on the table.”
Rarity turned to the upturned wooden cable spool Sunset had stolen from a construction site many years earlier that she had declared her coffee table. On it were a cup of cold tea, a remote control, Sunset’s cellphone, and a leather-bound diary with her personal emblem on the cover.
“Your diary?” she asked.
“I don’t write to Twilight all that often,” Sunset explained. “Partly because she often defaults to lecture mode, partly because she’s not as smart as she thinks she is. But, she has access to resources I don’t, and she was kind enough to do some research for me not too long ago to confirm something I had already suspected.”
“And that is?”
“Recovery is neither an easy process nor a straightforward one,” Sunset said. “It is inevitable there will be backsliding. All the patient (that’d be me) can do is keep working under the assumption that she is, in the long run, continuing to improve, even if it comes in fits and starts sometimes, with hiccups along the way, so…”
Sunset found herself interrupted by Rarity wrapping her in a tight embrace. So tight in fact that Sunset had trouble breathing. Nonetheless, she returned the gesture.
“Whether you’re up or down, high or low, I will always be here for you,” Rarity said softly in her most serious tone. “But, I cannot read minds, you know.”
Sunset smiled as best she could. “I understand, and I appreciate it. I may not be able to show it well right now, but I’m happy you dropped by. It’s made my afternoon a little less boring. More importantly, it’s nice to be reminded I have someone else willing to root for me.”
“We all are,” Rarity corrected.
“I know,” said Sunset. “I don’t deserve you five.”
Rarity, still wrapped around Sunset, retorted. “It’s not about whether you deserve it or not. You don’t get to decide that; we do.”
Sunset nodded. “I can’t exactly say you’ve made me feel better, since this is a chemical imbalance I’m unable to do anything about that will hopefully work itself through. Whether it does or not, I promise I’ll show up at CHS tomorrow. I don’t want anyone else to worry about me. Um, one last thing.”
“What is it, darling?”
“Could you please… let go of me? I think I might… black out. You hug… too hard.”
Rarity considered this for a moment. “…No. Not until I’m satisfied.”
“And when will that be?” asked Sunset, her breathing sounding laboured.
“…Never,” she replied with an audible smirk Sunset could not see.
Sunset sighed, saying “I will never understand y—” before going silent.
Rarity broke the embrace and stared at Sunset, confused. “Sunset?”
The only response Rarity received was a light snoring.
“Well, perhaps I did overdo it a little,” Rarity, blushing again, whispered to Sunset as she patted her head, stroking her long red-and-yellow dual-toned hair a few times. “Take care, my darling. I’ll see myself out.”
With that, Rarity donned her boots, grabbed her umbrella, and headed out the door, making sure to shut it gently behind her. The whole time, unbeknownst to her, Sunset watched her with one eye half-open. By the time Sunset was alone again, her face had contorted into a weary smile.
“She’s a good kid,” Sunset told her cup of cold tea. “Even when everything feels like it’s crashing down around me, she can make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I may not deserve a best friend like her, but I’m glad to have her around. Now, what’s on the next channel?”
Sunset shifted to a sitting position, allowing the blanket to slip and uncover her bare chest, and downed her cup of tea, sticking out her tongue in disgust that she had let it degrade so much. Then, with a grunt, she grabbed her remote control, pressing the button that would take her to the next set of afternoon boredom.
Outside, the rain continued at a steady but not heavy pace. Sunset relished the white noise. She set the alarm on her phone before laying back on Old Charley, allowing the droning of everything to lull her back to sleep.
Recovery isn’t a straight road. I’m hopeful tomorrow my better side can shine through again.
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I liked the somber tone to this. It fit the subject matter really well and having dealt with some of what Sunny is dealing with, I give a thumbs up for representation in how you showed it. Cheers!
I personally feel like the continuity is better having had this story added. Because you’re right, recovery isn’t a straight road, and it makes it that much more real to show how we can all backslide a bit without completely having lost all progress. As I type this I’m getting parallels to Forgotten Friendship where Sunset sort of ‘backslides’ into her old antagonistic self due to stress. It doesn’t make her any less likeable, and in a lot of ways I feel like it made Sunset more understandable knowing that she didn’t simply get Rainbow Lasered and become ‘good’. That anger and antagonism is still a part of her, just one she’s working on improving. Like the Sunset in this story (good thing I’ve come full circle, because god knows if I don’t find some way to reign myself back to the topic at hand I’ll ramble on forever
). In short, great addition, glad you decided to do it after all 
I've said this before, but I really appreciate how well you write depression.
Something Sunset should consider, and may not be aware of, is that many colleges and universities have free counseling programs that are available to the public and don't require extensive IDs. Sure you'll get a student counselor, and they can't give you prescriptions, but it's significantly better than nothing. In my experience, at least, they're also quite easy to get in to.
And poor Rarity. I don't know if Sunset is straight, asexual, or just too depressed to think about romance, but either way as you say Rarity is going to explode. I hope this goes somewhere (anywhere, not necessarily romance, though I can hope) other than just frustration.
8861789 - Thank you. I try.
8861843
Yeah, the backslide needed to happen, and not just because IRL. ATGE, the next story in the series, Sunset still rambles internally like a lunatic, but isn't really depressed per se. She just has a lot on her mind. This fic I feel should work well as a lead-in.
8861863 - I'm glad you enjoy how I write depression. I, regrettably, have a lot of firsthand knowledge.
TBH, I hadn't thought about that even though I've taken advantage of such services myself. You wouldn't mind if I somehow incorporated this into a future entry, would you?
Would it make you feel better to know I've already written two fics addressing this? I just can't publish them yet because I'm uploading in chronological order for these last few SRA entries.
8861898
It makes me feel SIGNIFICANTLY better yes :) I'll look forward to them.
And sure, go for it: it's why I mentioned it after all. Glad to give ideas.
Very. Very true in points and I know how the mind goes. Guilt, stress, repressed anger, over tasking, and more are things I deal with myself. Quite honestly, I've been told it's a blessing and a worry I've yet to have a true 'blow-up' as it were. Good that my will is strong, but bad that I can agree that if I can't vent some off at time the eventual pop will be quite the mess.
Overall, a great addition.
Always fascinating to read. Clinical and chemical depression have an odd number of similarities and differences. It’s interesting to see so many things I went through but addressed in entirely different ways.
Bonding
Neat, a new story :)
Keep going!
Woo, more SRA!
Yeah, I've been there before, and those intrusive thoughts can get really loud on days like that. It's good that Sunset has someone who can help her, and she's well enough to accept that.
I hope this eventually leads to Sunset/Rarity. Great series your writing here
As usual, my friend (if I may be so bold), you do an excellent job selling your Rarity and your Sunset. They feel relatable and quite honestly I'm a little concerned with how much I empathize with these fictional characters. In other even more concerning news, I have started naming some of my possessions. In honor of your stories my guitar has been dubbed Sunny (in no way relating to Holden Caulfield's Sunny, I swear) and I am in the process of thinking up a name for my electronic piano.
Incredible! Liked and followed.
Sunset, you troll
I absolutely love this SRA series tho. It’s not the most popular ship, but Sunset x Rarity is definitely one of my favorite Eqg pairings, it’s recently been growing on me ^_^
Keep up the good work
8863522
Part of me wants to take credit for this, as a significant number of fics in the Sunset×Rarity subgroup are mine. This is both amusing and a little sad, because to me the paring makes so much sense. Will they get together in the end? Or am I going to keep teasing everyone because setting up a romance was never the point? Or both? You'll have to keep reading to find out.
I'm so happy readers are still enjoying SRA (and adopting my acronym for it
) after 2½ years of infrequent updates. Like I said, this is the first chronological update of SRA in 11 months.
8864005
In all honestly, as long you continue this series with them even as just friends, it will keep me happy. I love both your writing and concepts as well as the seeing these two together, canon or fanfic. So, thank you for making my day when I see more and more Sunset and Rarity fics in the featured box! (Congrats as well!)
And wow.. after keeping up with the guide for so long, even before I had my account I did kind of pick up that besides the side stories and other things that the chronological updates were on a bit of a hiatus, though I didn’t realize it’s been that long. But again, good work and I can’t wait for the next update
Why doesn't Sunset visit a therapist in Equestria?
8864384
Yes, because it looks like I'm going to finish SRA before the Burritoverse, which shares its continuity.
However, I've been working on three long fics set in a very similar but alternate continuity (they'll be tagged AU) which I will begin posting after SRA is over. The timeline splits after "Sasha" -- which is why it's Chapter Zero -- and the difference is "Anon-A-Miss" happens in that universe but not in SRA's.
8864469
If Sunset felt comfortable enough to return to Equestria, she wouldn't need a therapist the way she does now. Upcoming SRA stories address this directly.
8864740 ...Maybe she could see an equestrian therapist once she reaches a point in the timeline where she's comfortable traveling to and from?
8864748
I will consider that for a distant post-script of take-it-or-leave-it canonicity. I can see Rarity becoming very very upset at Sunset leaving even if only for a couple days. That girl is getting clingy.
In your honour, I may have Sunset address her shoulder-spider and shoulder-cowboy.
No, but Sunset can or will....in the future.
Really, I think it would have been better for all of this to be bundled in as chapters of a single story. Since the rules/posting guidelines do say not to post chapters of a story as individual stories.
9206521
On the one hand, you're not wrong.
On the other, I've already explained in detail why this wouldn't work with SRA and I don't want to go into it again. It is what it is and there's a 99.5% chance I won't "fix" it, though if I knew how to get in touch with a mod/admin to discuss it, I would.
9206972
I mean. Literally anyone who has a blue outline on their posts like how yours are purple is a moderator.
I read this and all I can think of is this:
Useless tidbit: According to my headcanon, Sunset Shimmer is somewhere between middle-aged and elderly pre-Earth. Makes her hard to ship ethically, I'll admit, but I stopped fighting my mind on such things a long time ago.
So she's practically naked underneath the blanket. Sigh she really needs to do her laundry more often.
That's what friends are for sunset.
She was faking it all along. Should of saw that coming. 😑
Rarity cares about you more than you think sunset, and she loves you very much.
You can has review!
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