I Think It's Called Ponytown

by Lasairfion

The Last Stage of the Process is Fulfilment

The Castle of Friendship was essentially a large multi-faceted crystal and it was fairly common knowledge that crystals were used in focusing magic. Another giant crystal used for focusing magic was the infamous Crystal Heart. The Heart was currently being secured into place in the centre of the giant star that topped Twilight's castle.

Time was of the essence, since without the Heart, the Crystal Empire could only last a few days before terrible snowstorm weather would draw in on the city-state. The corruption of the entire kingdom had seemed like a good enough emergency to take that risk though. Enough that Shining Armour and Cadance had agreed to bring it with them at Celestia's request.

Pinkie Pie and Applejack had returned from Pinkie's Lair with all of Pinkie's filing on Ponyville citizens. This could be used to corroborate the official records against, to see which ponies were supposed to be here and which were extras. Pinkie had also supplied her giant party cannon. The hope was that Pinkie's Fourth Wall breaking powers might be transferred into the spell as it manifested. The cannon was set in front of the castle with a be-helmeted Pinkie aimed at the Crystal Heart.

Vinyl Scratch was busy setting up her Bass Cannon behind the castle, and focusing its output at the Crystal Heart from the other side. Cadance and Shining joined Vinyl at her station, while Celestia, Luna, Twilight and Starlight joined Pinkie at hers. Luna nibbled on a Moon Cake given to her by Mrs Bun.

Over at the spa, a number of still rather confused ponies were enjoying free massages. Something had happened, and now they were Celestia's civil servants again. Blueblood didn't seem to be enjoying his Extra Pressure massage though, from the wails coming from the other room.

It was early afternoon by the time set-up at the Castle of Friendship was finished and everyone was in position. Rainbow signalled from her position high above in the clouds. She began to fall.

As the cone grew tighter and she neared the tip of the castle, Celestia, Twilight, Luna and Starlight charged up the modified matrix magic. Fluorescent particles swirled around the beam as it powered towards the Crystal Heart. Vinyl hit a switch firing a not dissimilar beam from the other side, but one made up of crackling electricity and a vorpal blue wave of sonic-power. The two met at the Heart.

Shining caught Cadance in his forehooves and snogged her hard as they intertwined horns and powered up a fusion shield of love-power. The music helped too. He rather liked the Archie remix of 'Love is in Bloom'. The shield grew in size just as Rainbow hit the terminal velocity of her manoeuvre and Rainboom'd.

Pinkie Fired.

The Love-Shield hit the expanding ring of sonic rainbow. The two beams twisted violently and created a double helix. The energy was sucked into the Heart which exploded. Pinkie Pie was caught by Rainbow Dash as she powered through the impact zone. A monumentally huge wave of rainbow, glitter, metallic goo, vorpal blue and love pink energy was sucked into the Castle of Friendship before the entire building unravelled.

Time froze.

Twilight could see the component parts of her home hanging in mid air. Jagged shards of crystal from it and the Heart were poised like frozen daggers. She could see the beginnings of shield spells forming at the bases of the horns of those who had perceived the possible threat. The air where the castle had been was shimmery and slightly translucent. She could see the outlines of the interior of some type of manufacturing facility. Spike was sitting next to Rarity eating ice-cream.

Reality crashed back. A circle of burning love appeared on the ground around the castle area. The exploding shards crashed against the unseen perimeter and the whole lot flew backwards in reverse. Both the Castle and the Heart reformed. The Heart then burst into an eye-searingly white light which travelled through the walls of the Castle where it refracted into a billion rainbows. Twilight could taste Happy. Something went 'plib'.

A wave of feeling rolled out through the air. It was love, happiness, friendship, music and good times. Everything was right. Nothing was wrong. When Twilight turned to look around, everything seemed like it was how it was supposed to be.

Luna squoze her rubber duckie. It quacked.

---

Mr Wong was escorted, weeping, from the factory clutching a beige and puce coloured brushable pony toy. He was guided into the back of one of the black vehicles, which slowly took him away.

Ma wiped his brow. He'd need a holiday after this one. No-one should see visions of giant Castle Playsets hovering over the manufacturing lines. Nor should they go through what felt like a very big explosion, without the explosion. There were a lot of unanswered questions and something undecidedly weird had been going on; but for now everything seemed right with the world.

---

For the rest of the afternoon, Ponyville took the time to sort itself out. The completely insane spellwork seemed to have done its job and the twists added to the matrices had ensured that not everything had just disappeared. The Crystal Empire was still the centre of bubble-bath production, the diarchy ran the Equestrian government again and the extra ponies were fine, if a little confused. Cadance had opened counselling sessions to help, and Mayor Mare was sorting out the paperwork with Pinkie's help.

Mr and Mrs Cake were happy to see their bakery returned, although it looked like they were going to have to take on more staff. The Lucky Dragon restaurant and takeaway had both survived. In fact it seemed that everyone had gotten what they really wanted.

Rainbow sat on the ground and considered the last couple of days.

Something had definitely ruined her morning the other day and led to a really weird set of circumstances that she wouldn't wish to repeat. But the simple fact was that it had opened up new possibilities. Crispy Wontons and Mango Pudding were here to stay in Equestria. And how else would she of all ponies have ever really gotten to spend time with Luna on such a heart-to-heart level?

She had a new friend there. They were already planning when she could come over to Ponyville for a Pranking Day.

Rainbow appreciated all the other things in her life too. It was only when you were forced to experience what made them special to you being taken away, or twisted into some mockery of itself, that you truly understood how important they were to you.

There was probably a Friendship Lesson in there somewhere.

***

Late that night, Twilight finally slumped into her bed. The clock struck one and was charged with Grievous Bodily Harm. Discord slowly phased in before Twilight, holding a battered suitcase that leaked socks, and wearing a garishly pink sun hat.

"Oh", he said lifting his sunglasses to see Twilight better. "Did I miss all the fun?"

Author's Note:

You can now see my inspiration and thought processes for the story on my blog series:

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/886811/i-think-its-called-ponytown-story-notes-chapter-1

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

A bit of a rush at the end, especially the explicit reference to Pinkie's metanarrative powers, but this was still a highly entertaining read from start to finish. Thank you for it.

[Lasairfion]

8683447
The irony of breaking the fourth wall with a reference to the fourth wall eh?
I wanted the story done in ten chapters (and didn't want the last chapter any longer than the others), but hopefully the end is satisfying enough.

[ZeroMonkey]

Top kek

[Rhulain]

This belongs in a museum.

[PresentPerfect]

I think this would have been funnier if it had been more about actual fakies in Equestria. I think that was kind of what I was expecting, anyway. :/

[Lasairfion]

I agree that there is a lot more that could be done with the story - such as a responsive aggression from China, or a focus on the stories of the fake ponies in Equestria - but both would have dragged the story away from comedy territory and into areas with a pinch more gravitas. Likewise I wanted this to be short, and I think a look at the 'fakes' or a Chinese backlash would have easily doubled the length of the story. I wanted something short and silly, mostly focused around Rainbow Dash.

Perhaps it ends a little too quickly and with less fulfilment than might be wished by some of the readers; but I think it does okay at what I was aiming for. In the end I wrote this pretty much live on the day, and posted the chapters immediately with no revision and no editing. Sorry if it didn't quite hit the spot for some of you.

[Gavier]

Magnificent. There are no other words for this piece of modern art,

[Zaten the Changeling]

Ooooohhh I wonder what this could be?

_{ITS CHINA AGAIN}

[Zaten the Changeling]

8906385
Oh i get it now
Longest pun ever, but still works.

8905527
I will assume 6d covers dabbing.
*dabs*

[Accurate Balance]

You know, when Cadance chanted Ba Luobo there, I totally lost it and lol-ed on the metro.

[Lasairfion]

If you're interested in the inspiration, thoughts and processes behind the story, you can now read my blog series about it:

https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/886811/i-think-its-called-ponytown-story-notes-chapter-1

[Okie Brony]

Aside from the crazy Britishe sphellings, this was a very fun and clever story! I've read a number of stories written by Brits, Canadians, & even a few Aussies, and this is the first time I've ever seen "squoze." You can imagine my surprise when Google said it was a real word. Its main usage is regional, like the folks who call shopping carts "trolleys." It's also used for fun, like how I spelled "British spellings." I learned something today!
media0.giphy.com/media/83QtfwKWdmSEo/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47ner1zx54knhfyypjsax1f9jk8shsef44a5weve4a&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

Was this at all inspired by "The Indian in the Cupboard"?

[Lasairfion]

11451949
I had not heard of the book or film.

[Okie Brony]

11453238
"The Indian in the Cupboard" is a movie from 1995 that I haven't seen in years. Google says that it's based on a children's book from the 80's. In it, a young boy receives as a present a small cupboard that can magically bring his action figures to life. Chaos ensues. Here's its IMDB page. I had a feeling you'd never heard of it, but I felt like posting comments that night. Your story is clever, and I enjoyed it.

11453236
As for my comment about "manoeuvre," that was just me having fun, hence the Derpy emoji. The "dammit" line was a paraphrase from "Star Trek." Half the fun of the English language is alternate spellings.