I Think It's Called Ponytown

by Lasairfion

Thesaurus? I thought Dinosaurs were Extinct

For the second time that morning, Rainbow blearily opened her eyes.

"Oh darling," warbled a voice, "I thought you were going to cause a scene right in the middle of the Summer Season Power Manager office-wear display!"

Rainbow looked up at the finely shaded eyelids peering down at her and sat up. "Aww, Scarcity", she said. "No-one can wield a chaise-longue like you can. Your display was safe as houses."

"Well, yes, I suppose so dear", opined Scarcity. "But I must know what ever has happened that could cause you of all ponies to be in such a state." She leaned forward. "I did hear that scream this morning, and I must say, for a moment there you gave me quite a run for my money."

Rainbow thought for a moment. Explaining this to her friend was going to be difficult without sounding like she was totally bonkers. "Look", she said. "Do you remember when Twilight messed up all our cutie marks with that old Starmix spell she was working on?" Scarcity nodded. "Well, just imagine that yesterday you were purple and white and didn't have a mohawk, but now you've totally forgotten about it."

"But darling, mohawks are most definitely in. Have been since I featured in Vanity Mare, you remember?" said Scarcity, somehow pulling a copy of the magazine out of nowhere. The cover of the magazine did indeed feature a pink mare sporting the now familiar looking mohawk.

"I'm supposed to be... well... not this, I think," stuttered Rainbow, unsure of herself.

Scarcity looked pointedly at Rainbow. "I'm rather sure that you've had your charmingly unusual rainbow colour scheme for as long as I've known you", she said. "And I'm quite sure that a white mane would clash terribly with purple hooves, but if you insist that there must be magic afoot, then I'm positive that our dear friend Twilight would be happy to help sort out this little problem, hmm?"

Rainbow sighed despondently. Suddenly a thought wormed its way into her mind. If Scarcity was pink, then what colour was Pinkie Pudding? "Hey, Scares...", she said, perking up. "Why don't we stop by Red-Bean Bun Bakery on our way over?"

---

Mr Liu had actually seen a picture of the bakery on Western Google Search Engine. Some tall, ridiculous looking monstrosity that, typical of American creations, celebrated overly sweet, sugary, sickly awful fodder. Certainly duplicity was not in the heart of Liu, but it surely wouldn't hurt to tweak things just a little. These new play-sets would not only sell better in the home market, but help to instill in those poor Western minds the true values of Chinese home cooking. If anything he was saving those poor children from a life of obesity and diabetes.

Mr Bing just did what he was told.

---

The two ponies approached the nondescript looking building. The flickering electric sign proclaimed the name of the establishment, and behind the security shutters freshly baked steaming buns glistened on the shelves. There was the sound of faint sobbing coming from the interior.

Rainbow slowly pushed open the door, noting a really good deal on long distance phone calls taped to the glass. The place was unusually empty, but then there wasn't really all that much room between the doorway and the counter. Just enough for customers to form an orderly queue and then take their purchases home.

Behind the counter, snivelling to herself, sat a pink pony. Her long straight hair lay limply over her muzzle and salty tears coursed their way down her cheeks. Pinkie looked up, noticing both Rainbow and Scarcity for the first time. "I think my tears are less savoury than these buns," she sobbed.

Scarcity flipped the counter open and went to comfort Pinkie. Rainbow looked at today's Special 'Salted Egg Yolk Steamed Bun' and felt the angered screams of sugar canes worldwide.

"How can ponies be happy if all I have to give them are these", sniffed Pinkie. "And we've had to put adverts in the local paper so people know where we are." She looked over at Scarcity. "And why is everyone else copying my style?" The questions remained unanswered.

Rainbow looked at a Pumpkin Bun, named after one of the store owner's foals. Something was definitely amiss, but it seemed like whatever it was hadn't managed to get Pinkie Pudding yet. "Why don't you make me one of your signature mango puddings with condensed milk, eh Pinkie?" said Rainbow perkily, trying to cheer things up. Pinkie burst into tears again.

Rainbow left Scarcity to sort out the distraught caterer and peered through the window. Ponies were roaming about as usual, but there did seem to be an inordinate amount of pink ones. She was pretty sure that pink had been quite a rare colour combination for ponies, and yet her eyes sought to disabuse her of that notion. There also seemed to be a lot of new male ponies about. Perhaps things were looking up after all.

---

Mr Wong had noticed that there were disproportionately large amounts of female horses produced in the lines created by other factories. While he vaguely understood the general notion that horse toys were mostly targeted at young girls, his underlying culture didn't sit well with this female-heavy production bias. Everyone knew that it was the male of the line that carried forward the family name and fortune.

Besides, if other companies were making predominantly female horses, then his product would fit perfectly to even out the numbers to a 1:1 ratio. Little Jiaying would be able to pair off all her horses into happy and productive couples.

---

Rainbow and Scarcity left Pinkie planning out that evening's Yum Cha hour for the Bun family's Lucky Dragon Dim Sum Restaurant and made their way through Ponytown and towards the Ostentatious Sparkle Castle.

As Rainbow had previously noticed, there did seem to be a large increase in male ponies, pink ponies, and more specifically the general sort of background ponies that made up the crowds. The market area was packed with ponies she simply didn't recognise at all. Working off the numbers she could see as a starting point, she was wondering how Ponytown wasn't a Ponycity by now.

While the dating scene had suddenly improved, this was going to cause a nigh unceasing amount of Pinkie Pudding Welcome Banquets in the coming weeks. If Pinkie stopped crying of course. They simply had to get to Twilight.

Comments

[Rhulain]

This. This is high quality Pony Words.

[Ma Zedong]

While I think this story is headed in the right direction, I find the character of Scarcity to be troubling. Her name and profession imply that she is meant to represent a strong working spirit in the fact of Western adversity, yet she wears a morally-subversive, dare I say bourgeois mohawk! I suppose the fact that mohawks are now "in" because Scarcity appeared with one in a magazine can be taken as a veiled critique of the bourgeois idea of "fashionable", but this implies that Ponytown is itself a bourgeois society, something that is not supported elsewhere in the story. (A bourgeois society, for example, will display improper coupling and a distinct lack of Dim Sum restaurants and Lucky Cat statues)

The importation of Western materials, especially when done by breaking through our Great Internet Wall of Moral Correctness, must be done with great care so that we may preserve proper values.

6/10 barely passes censor.