• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Creativa-Artly01


Epileptic-autistic eldest of four, artist, creative, and horse crazy girl who is obsessed with entertainment media and history among other things.

Sequels1

E

Victoria Cello is Octavia's big sister and she's in town for the weekend. When she's around, Octavia can't help but feel like she's second cello. Octavia, however, knows she has to hide her feelings. She's always been the good girl.

Cover by yiKOmega

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 3 )

I found this to be a good story, though I found its development to be rather quick going from one event to the other without taking time to show (and develop with the characters) major events such as Victoria’s arrival after so long.

I haven't even read the story yetx and I already hate Victoria Cello...

I like the concept, and I can feel that this story has very good potential, but to get there it needs some work. Two major issues that I noticed were that the pacing was just shy of Rainbow Dash speed, and while I did not see any spelling or grammar errors (props for that) in the first paragraph you had a rather glaring shift in tense, you went from past tense (it was a beautiful day) to present tense (Victoria sticks her nose in the air). Wishing you success.

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