8634160

It's the good kind of madness. It's just the fact that you have Futadom World, Caribou and Zebras involved all in one story... who would even think of that? That's crazy.

Still think the relationship is chugging along too fast. (Yes that train pun was intentional.) For someone like our mc, he seems to be getting used to this way to quickly. It seems to me like your trying to rush the romance scene mr.author, personally i don't mind terribly if a romance is sped up A BIT so long as it's believable, this however feels rushed and out of character from what we've seen, at least in dashes perspective, i get the feeling the mc is your self insert so thats on you, but dash feels like she's coming on too much and acting like a bit of a slut in some scenes. (Not hating, I'm a fan of rainbow too, just how I'm seeing things.) Just some constructive criticism bro. Hope it helps.

8634914
Hello Train Dodger, and I don't know actually. I guess that it would take someone who had stumbled across all 3 of them by accident, found them to be interesting, and then, once he saw them for what they really were, and found that there were little to no stories about them getting their just deserts, decided to remedy all 3 of those wrongs in one go. I wonder who that someone could be?

8635045
Hello GameAssassin,

First of all, yes, out of all of my various incarnations of my OC's over the years, "Stud", "ScarFox", "Leopard", they all have something in common; they all represent something about myself. I've found that I tend to write at my best when I picture myself as the main character, and tell the story from his perspective. My OC(s) are just incarnations of myself, but always with a twist. Leopard, who represents some of the anger and frustrations I have with my own life, as well as the little joys I still find within, is my latest incarnation, (A sort of, well, "alter-ego", if you will.)

Second of all, Spoiler Alert, I'm actually doing this on purpose. I'm luring the audience into a false sense of security. Chapter 9.5 will contain a sex scene between Leopard and Dash, but Chapter 10? Everything that you THINK you know about their relationship, gets absolutely dropped on its head. Suddenly, Dash, Pinkie, and Applejack, who were being discharged early, and sent home for their own safety, get captured just prior to the Battle of Appaloosa. Now, Leopard has a choice to make. Will he let Dash go for a time, and focus on liberating other areas from the Imperial Alliance as he's supposed to? Or will he risk everything, (And I do mean EVERYTHING!) to save the mare that he's come to love? Well, I know the answer, but if I revealed it now, even in a Spoiler, then that would be SO unfair for everypony! You'll just have to wait and see when the time comes!

8635410
Damn. Ok bro. You still didn't comment on why you wrote rainbow the way you did though. Usually see her as the brash accusing pegasus at first but with a heart of gold underneath it all. Not the love at first sight, occasionally slutty pegasus that she seems to be here.

8635451
Hello GameAssassin,

And actually, not all of that was intentional. At first, it started out as just an OC and his waifu. Later on though, this developed into a bit of "clopfic", to an extent at least. However, you know how they say that war changes people? Well, that could also apply here. As I said before, he Imperial War had been dragging on for almost 3 years before the Battleship Express arrived. The war changed Dash a bit. She's not slutty on purpose, but due to her brashness, let's just say that she's seen some things on the field of battle. Now, she'd developed a bit of a "Live now cuz you might die young" sort of attitude. All of this will change a bit later though, starting in Chapter 10.....

8635487
Ahhh. Makes sense bro. But maybe you could throw in a backstory tease about it somewhere? Just so nobody else asks about the same shit?

8635733
Hello GameAssassin,

And I did have a plan for this. In Chapter 10, Dash herself will reflect a bit on her past life choices, as well as the events that led to her making those decisions.

8636058
Ok then. Guess chapter 10 is gonna have a nuke sized amount of info in it then.

8636091
Hello again GameAssassin,

and it won't take that much, maybe a paragraph or two.

Isnt there supposed to be a Spitfire in here somewhere?

8677115
Hello Silentwoodfire,

And yes, Spitfire is in this story. She's mentioned a few times, and her first physical appearance was back in Chapter 4, when she was with the Wonderbolts who attempted to stop the Big Boy when it first appeared in Ponyville. She doesn't make another physical appearance until Chapter 17, but She's still an important part of the story, especially after that chapter.

"I'm a no-nonsense tomboy. However, I am still a girl."

who are you and what have you done with Rainbow Dash? i mean it, gotta be the frist fimfic with her that she admits this, XD

10287387
It's not the first, but it is a rare one. I can think of one other story where Dash admitted that she was a girl, and it's what I was referencing with that line, but unfortunately, I can't remember what story it was anymore. It was a male Human x Rainbow Dash clop story, but the name escapes me

"Don't think too hard there Stud,(——“ A voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts. "If you do, you just might turn into an egghead like Twilight!"

I shrugged. "It's been so many years Dash; 5, if the records are to be believed. 5 years since I last swam in a body of water bigger than a bathtub."

——)Pinkie smirked. "Ok, well I dare you to kiss Leopard!"

"Um, are you sure that that's a good idea Alex?" Todd asked. ——)”Aren't there laws against public indecency around here?"

"Yeah, but will Major Don?"(—— Fred mumbled.

——)”Um, d-do you think....t-that we could maybe....do this again sometime? G-going on another date I mean."

"Just as I enjoy spending time with you,”(—— I whispered.

11823563
Fixed them