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Hello RainbowTheTankEngine,

And what's "Oh my"? The awesome action? The battle scenes? Or perhaps the cliff-hanging ending? What's "Oh my"?

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(Sorry guys, but my OCD won't let this one slide. Your comments must be odd numbers, while my replies are even numbers. Sorry, but I have to restore the balance.)

If what I recall about the Caribou is correct, they will be turned into females and enslaved. I don't know what the zebra will do though

8674997
Hello Silentwoodfire,

And usually, this would be the case, but not this time around. Each side wants their prisoners back, although what will be done to them will be revealed later in the next chapter.

Also, the Caribou DO attempt to do this in a later chapter, and it works for some, but not others. What does this mean? Well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out!

tsundere actually means something else what you mean is a dandere or kuudere a tsundere is more on the well agressive and abusive side like that one girl from the anime toradora for example is a tsundere

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Hello MyNamePickleJeff,

And I really only put that in there, as a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing. I'm only a minor fan of anime. Leopard was just trying to get Dash to shut up and leave him alone, so he called himself a Tsundere. However, as I mentioned in the story, Leopard was at first mean, and hostile towards Dash, but later on warmed up to to her, with their love blossoming. This is more or less what I meant by Tsundere, outwardly hostile, but inwardly having a heart of gold.

Like how things are turning out so far. Also love the reactions of the enemy commanders from start of previous chapters to now. Reminds me of a quote from Mass Effect 2

Despots are all alike. They think their the biggest, baddest thing around. Until you step up to 'em and show 'em they're not in control. Then they cry like little girls. -Zaeed

Hope to see King Danin and the Zebra Overlord end the same way.

That said, I have noticed a few slight issues both in writing and story telling.

Firstly, and most important, your use of "quotation". Correct use for "quotation" is for spoken dialogue ONLY. Using for spoken and inner tends to cause confusion as the reader is constantly going back and forth trying to think 'Wait, why is no one reacting to..? Oh, it's thoughts...I think?' If you use inner monologue, you differentiate using italics or, if you just have to use some form of quotation, use 'single quotes'.

Secondly, the use of first person (I, my) despite the person in question (I think representing Leopard?) not being present in the scene. Unless he's seeing this through some magic sight, these scenes should really mention him in third person or by name specifically.

Thirdly, there is the vote scene. Unless drastic changes have been made, you will never see matters put to vote in a military unit/crew. It's all superior officers and the limits set on them by command regulations and/or the circumstances at hand. Realistically, the Captain would have announced to the crew, "Alright, listen up! The regulations and our current situations leaves us with the choice of this or that. I've decided on this. End of discussion." Maybe with a bit more inspirational speech. Depending on how dire the situation, a subordinate refusing could end with them becoming familiar with the interior of a holding cell or the business end of a firing squad. The only fighting crew to get votes were pirate crews [Fun fact: Pirates crews could technically be called the first successful examples of democracy in the Western World. Without countries or large organizations to fall back on, it was left to the Pirate captains to maintain crew morale and convince them that a job was the safest and most profitable way to go. Even Black Beard would talk with each of his crew for support before a big attack.] If you desperately needed this scene for effect, then it would be better to have the captain approach them and acknowledge their lack of support. "Alright, listen up. I'm going to be straight with you. We've just made contact with a hostile force. We have no contact with the US, and it's likely that we never will. We're on our own here. I cannot, therefore, in good conscience make this decision without knowing that you are all onboard." Or something to that effect. Then put it to a vote before going back to business as usual. Assuming they don't just defect/enlist with Equestrian military.

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to how things turn out from here!

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Hello redstargazer,

And first of all, these are actually typos. Every now and again, I keep looking through the story for them, but yet, I haven't found them all yet. It's just a small mistake.

Secondly, yes, I am telling this story though the eyes of my OC, Leopard. A self-insert, but yet not quite.

Next, yes, I was wondering about this scene when I wrote it, but yet I DID try to explain it in the chapter itself. As Major Don said at one point, they knew that they had to intervene, but yet, they weren't allowed to unless directly involved with the conflict. Only their superiors can declare war. HOWEVER, since they are now on their own, and out of contact with Earth, and they ARE directly threatened by the conflict as the Battle of Ponyville showed, they knew that they had to fight, but yet, it STILL had to be put to a vote. ANd now that they voted, they decided that although their ultimate loyalty was still for America, for the time being, they were going to help the Equestrians keep their freedom, and help bring down the Caribou and Zebras.

And may God have Mercy upon them, for the Humans will have none. Humanity doesn't play nice, we don't fight fair, if we have weapons we'll use them, and if you are our allies, then we will protect you to no end. But if you are our enemy.........may Death show you Mercy, for we will have none! We will pursue you to the ends of existence and when we find you, we will end you, AND your entire race!

Dash scrunched her face up. "So awesome!"

Couldn’t resist...

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Hello randmizr-77,

And that was EXACTLY what went through my head when I wrote that bit!

Not to be a let down, but i'm pretty sure if a soldier showed even the slightest signs of PTSD, he would be discharged. I mean, I know soldiers are scare, but still...

Great story!

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Hello ElderTemplar,

And while it is mentioned here in this story, the sequel, "Beyond the Express" sheds more light on this topic. However, from what you've read so far, these guys have witnessed a violent domestic terror skirmish, 4 World Wars, a Cold War, and now this. And all of Earth experienced these mind you. In a way, everyone has PTSD, so nobody really has PTSD anymore. "Beyond the Express" explains this a little bit better, but then again, this IS a fiction story, so yes, there are a few stretches of the imagination.

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Ah, so it's like since everyone has PTSD, everyone is normal. Interesting...

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To some extent. Everyone has it, but some have it less than others, some have it severely, and others......well, let’s just say that they can hide their true selves behind a mask of sanity quite well, all while suffering on the inside.

excuse me but if you like antique machinery like I do there is a festival that goes down once a year that i make a point to go to,
it is called the great oregon steam up
all the amazing things they feature there

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Hello Jimerjam,

And this sounds amazing, but alas, I live on the wrong side of the country. Too far to travel unless I take a vacation, which I so rarely do with my job, and my home life.

This is just, yikes, good premise, I liked the idea
But I guess it's just like communism, good in theory, bad in practice

Not to sound rude, but if you're using emotional arcs, just having the character shout it out after a scene that I dearly hoped was comedy doesn't do you any favors

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Hello Imperial-Arstotzka,

And I was still learning how to write a good story when I was writing this one. I did my best, and I’ve learned more since then. This is my most popular story though, and most people really enjoyed it

After her death, Leopard lost his mind.

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Hello Luckyfanisaac,

And good catch