Wandering Sunrise remembers Equestria as it once was: a land of harmony, broken by strife. She was sealed in a Stable-Tec stasis pod the day the Megaspells hit... and she wakes up in a pool of water, surrounded by strangers.
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Very nice! I really love how in every chapter Nytoa's here for Sunrise how she tries to stay honorful.
That makes your story very unique
Alrighty, reactions to the chapter:
1) Bunny! Happy to see her again (for obvious reasons)
2) Scopola Mina getting called away for a Filly Scout operation is certainly interesting, especially since it was an order from the Eternal Scout council no less. And to disobey is the threat of death? Yeeeaaahhh... the equivalent of the wasteland mafia never messes around. Guessing this is where she leaves to head to do the operation related to filly scouts and a certain radio station.
3) [Edited: Ignore this number because I was being silly and didn’t know things] And now 17... that’s definitely interesting, considering that the operator title of Sunrise’s other half, code named “Green Monster” is 19. Not sure if this is another agent, or if this is introducing another personality to the table... (Mini theory related to Sunrise’s virtue/something beyond the current story in spoilers) Considering that there is the third option in addition to 19 and Sunrise, and her code name is “Bland,” She might be the discorded version (iirc might have been confirmed) of Sunrise, which is a scary thought considering that her virtue is Mercy/Temperance, and that list of 36 banned tactics will probably be off the table and free for use. Maybe 17 is a precursor to 19, except the MoM couldn’t control 17 since she was discorded as part of an experiment? Okay, mini theory done.
4) The bath scene definitely made me crack a smile at the thought of Sunrise trying to clean off Soot through what was described in the text (and the resulting cleanliness from said cleaning).
Okay, should be everything roughly.
Sweet. New chapter. Though it will take a long time to catch up.
10087865
You literally did not read the proofreader note
*frustrated horse noises*
10087867
Take your time and enjoy
10087906
*loads email and reads note from the suggestions and changes*
*facepalms*
One, I feel incredibly silly for going on that mini-tirade, and Two, I actually didn’t know that, so... neat. More things to know!
10087857
Thank you for that.
10088046
You're welcome! Keep up the good work!
Soot... is going to be one BIG hoofull to handle!
10088278
You, have, no, idea.
10088383
No, why? Do you think I should?
10088390
No but the amount of Hoof Fulls this small filly is gonna make.
10088786
In the course of the next two chapters, I would set the over/under at 6 7/8, and I'll take the over.
Fine job...nothing to report. Some of the angst is bordering Blackjack levels. Don't let Somber influence your style. (Don't get me wrong, I love Blackjack...PH is just an angst tour through hell and not well written ) You're better than that. Keep fighting the good fight children! This is Three Dog! Ahwoooo and your listening to Galaxy News Radio!.........(yeah hand surgery went really good....on my Xbox again after almost a year!)
10089173
Angst where? I did not realize I had put any in this chapter.
10089173
Also which Coffee Mug do I send you when I get home?
10089710
Lil Pip! Please and thank you!
10089709
There was a bit more in the previous chapters and the tiny bit in this one just triggered my alarm bells. Old guy, just takes longer to react to inputs, then I go completely off the rails....he he he.... I know the character feels very strongly about killing anything! Lingering on the subject is what I'm concerned about. Nyota said if I was concerned about the way you were writing something, I had to speak up. Just saying....
10091055
Well yes, she does feel strongly about killing anything still but if you notice this is the part of my guidelines for the great fall.
I was told by someone when they read your comment that reading from 44 to here it doesn't feel that way.
Reading 47 and 48 without reading the previous 3 fresh on their mind it does feel that way.
SO I know I am walking a fine line and I will make sure my editors see this so they know to keep me firmly at the line without crossing it.
Especially since the next chapter is about to an emotional train wreck, I already cried just writing the outline for it.
10091365
Copy! Glad you know where the safety is and have it on. ( in joke there..he ...he he)
10091860
Except my safety was always just opening the bolt.
I really enjoyed the ending of this one, Fiaura!
Yeah, you just lost another reader. In me. Don't be so vicious to those that try to help.
10115452
except according to your profile you have spent a total of 7 minutes reading this story. You were never a reader.
10115752
I enjoy privacy.
The download feature is nice too. I'm on the road an awful lot with poor to no internet.
10116880
K but ya know, you're going off me being vicious.
After the person insulted me, went out of their way to DEMAND, I redo the review.
Went out of their way to send their fans to white knight for them.
And then I'm the vicious one for NOT liking his story?
PS
380 was placed there on March 4th. Today is March 5th.
You just put it there to take it off.
Stop trying to fake yourself as a fan or a reader.
You jumped to chapter 48, left your first comment ever. Put a like on it just to take it off to try to make a point. You're seen online daily (Way back machine is amazing), and you genuinely don't have to go through all this trouble to prove a non-existent point.
10117148
He shares things with his circle. Don't you? I'm here because I want to knock some sense into you. How don't you understand? Are you in fact socially obtuse or is this intentional? You're just being spiteful, and you don't even know why. He's upset because you just wrote a casual hate piece instead of a meticulous and balanced review meant to give advice and good ideas to improve. You didn't even attempt to be constructive in your criticism and put very little effort forward into making a good product. It was a rant, and the same can be said about the second one.
Whether you love or hate something, being constructive is the goal of a review. He gave you a good review. It was well written, and he cared enough about you and your product to give you his time and thoughts in a rational and intelligible way. You didn't do the same for him.
I don't write. I work in parts sales and travel a lot, trying to connect with customers. I also like pony. Especially Luna. But if I did write, I would be pissed if I tried to give your story its due, and you responded with what you did. It just isn't just.
10117179
I also deal blackjack on the weekends. I almost match four months of my salary doing it. 🃏
10117185
Then maybe in the future he shouldn't do the following:
"You're just peddling bullshit."
"Your review sucks, do it again."
"Here let me make fun of your review that you wrote about my work with this music video."
I mean the list goes on. I get it, I was late but you only get one chance to do stuff.
When I started asking questions for clarification, I got called a Bullshitter.
When I wrote the rant, he made fun of it and demanded I do it again.
What did he expect? He was vicious first. I am no better for being vicious back, I know that. But if you slam on a person's integrity and then proceed to make fun of them; what do you expect to happen? Them to be a better person immediately? Or them to retaliate when you keep upping the ante on your own griefing?
Further, I offered him some advice for improving the story:
Get someone who has served in the military to help you. You'd be surprised how many people would be willing to do just that who have the experience.
Re-write the story, from scratch using this person's advice.
Don't give nothing but exposition for 3 1/2 chapters.
Your prologue would make a more interesting story than this and should be it's own story not less than 2K words without dialog.
Go watch a couple of episodes of M.A.S.H. to know who I am comparing your lead character to and why that is a bad thing.
Or did you not bother to read those parts and took his word at face value for it?
10117199
I seriously doubt any of that is true. Even if it is, it’s your word with no proof. I doubt it’s verbatim. And I won’t ask you to prove it. I think linking private mails is a bannable offense. So don’t do that.
And nothing changes the fact you gave another user a worthless “review”. It was.
This is getting silly. I’m done. Whatever you have going on, there is no reasoning with it. You just don’t get it, and you won’t.
Good luck with your story. A lot of people love it.
10117185
Good for you? Not sure what this has to do with this conversation or why I care?
I write fan parodies for a living and science fandoms like gametheory or shoddycast?
Then spend most of my time streaming tabletop games and video games?
I mean none of these details from either of us add anything to this conversation except state our occupations?
Finely starting to get some trees in the story x3
Well done, sadly not much help, but story is well made and characters seams the be just as alive as real people.
Keep up the good work! You are doing amazing 😍👌❤️
Big hugz
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