Wandering Sunrise remembers Equestria as it once was: a land of harmony, broken by strife. She was sealed in a Stable-Tec stasis pod the day the Megaspells hit... and she wakes up in a pool of water, surrounded by strangers.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So Long with Mystery, but so Short on Time, at least it was Interesting I guess. Hope that you find out more OR not, but Only Time will Tell.
I've been really enjoying reading through this and am excited to see how things continue.
That should be a silver mane with orange highlights.
unicorns
His eyes match the orange in his mane and tail.
Quick
Quick
I'm not sure if you meant Equestrian. And Quick
Quick
Quick, and the body color.
8663827
Fix all those little details and we honestly thought you spelled it Quik not Quick.
8663821
You are by far the most duplicitous evil I have met.
8663982
I am learning if we are in Silent Hill or Fallout it seems we flip between one then the other.
Me or that Second_Side989 over here.
If Me, I did it for the Exp so my Character doesn't get Cooked by you Raising the Heat per-say and the Enjoyment of the Salty Waxed Purity Sealed Comments to counteract this Absolute Book of Heresy you coheres me into keep my Master of the Void alive.
If Second_Side989, Got it.
If Both, Well, at least we aren't doing too far (I hope... *Looks at Second_Side989)
8664037
I have plans for the extra XP depending on your actions with taking it, if you don't take it; I have plans. If you do take it, I have a plan. If some take it and some don't I am prepared.
What the point of a - mark at the end of some remarks. Like this: Nugget let out a discouraged aww, then looked up and nodded, “Okay mom. Sorry Sunrise but I have to do-”. I am not great with all the rules of grammer. it sounds funny with the text to speech. It said Dash and seeing how that has another meaning in FoE you can see how it come off funny sounding.
8664692
I am so very glad that text to speech managed to make the moment even funnier.
You asked for my review, but I cannot properly judge this with the story still in this early of a stage. My interest, however, is piqued.
8665007
*looks at with a tilted head* I thought you said you would be the one person who didn't indulge me?
Just went through again, I hope adding the rhyming doesnt make things too difficult for you. also picked up on a few typos I sent you and a suggestion that might make the text to speech deal with DJ Pon3's name a bit easier
8671772
I got those corrections and applied them. Also the rhyming makes it fun.
The plot thickens!...and that's thick. Not thicc. There's a difference dontcha know! I believe...action starts happening next chapter?
8679476
You have no idea! Minefields and all sorts of OMG WHY!
C'mon battery! I wanna keep reading goddammit!
8783961
Wow! You really are engaged with this one aren't you? You realize when you get deployed I'll mail you the entire thing printed out and send you chapters as I finish them?
“Now I had to verify this story from three separate sources because otherwise it would be outrageous. You cannot say that DJ Pon3 is not vigilant with his research.
should be her research
you mention hot cross buns flying patrols but then later say an earth pony, is there gear that helps non winged things fly?
8823179
Can you point out where you see this because Hot Cross Buns is a pegasus and we have not met him yet?
8823179
He was more stubborn than an earth pony and a mule pulling a carriage in opposite directions.
If this is what you mean, it is an analogy. As I hope you see it isn't a direct reference to his physical being?
The game is afoot!
Oof, what a name.. He was probably never teased about it.. I was over and done with all the Bun puns.
I'll imagine Alguacil sounds like Clint Eastwood's characters from now on. However, it could be funny giving him a John Wayne voice in my head.
Also, are there any stories you draw from when concerning the Zebra spirits? I only ask because FoE: Homelands is pretty close to "canon", and goes into more detail regarding the Zebras, and the spirit relm.
9067451
We flip between Wayne and Eastwood for him.
Yes, we have a lot of extra detail concerning the zebras and have drawn out their entire spiritual religion.
8866093
Every week ;)
Nice to See Sunrise smiling
It’s funny how Sunrise thinks Fluttershy was the only ministry mare not to be insane in the membrane. Sunrise’s naivety is going to get her injured.
9624052
Remember, Sunrise is from the time before the bombs and knows nothing of why they dropped or the 180+ proceeding years.
Her Naivety is part of the exploration by her and you.
9470945
She does that, occasionally.
So I may or may not decide to stop reading this story but I’ll try to make it to the end of chapter 2 before making a final decision. Sadly, after nine chapter I’m still not hooked. I wish I could explain why I’m not invested into the plot or the characters, but sadly I’ve no idea.
To move onto to something more positive: Silver Fang. The place has charm. A run-down town full of shady but overall decent ponies who nail the corpses of Raiders onto the town wall. Really brings across the post-apocalyptic charm of the setting.
Not a fan of the nickname Sunrise got. I don’t think the Equestrians know about Angels. Yes, there was a character in show named Angel Wings, but that was an OC from a fan and even back then, the name really bothered me.
Waiting for Sunrise too yell at pink pony in front of her friends like a crazy mare lol.
As I understand it: Sunrise blames herself for not going with Alguacil's gut feeling and getting Buddy killed. Now she wants to keep everyone in her group safe, so she goes against Alguacil again, in order to meet the mysterious employer. She argues with him all the way through, while behaving like she is in the right. It all happened here, in one chapter. What the hay.
This is a genius way of portraying emotions. Sparrow is in such despair, so deep in mourning, she can't form a sentence. She just repeats the same one over and over, while keeping all her power on keeping it together and not cracking in front of everyone.
That ability of Sunrise's to see... I don't even know what, like it's a memory orb is genius, again. I hope we get the rules of it figured out as we go on. It's for cool now, while we are discovering it alongside her. The ability to keep the story from her perspective, while showing scenes outside her presence helps keep the immersion. I personally despise it, it ruing the experience for me. You got around that limiting obstacle. I don't feel invested in the other mysteries of her parents, the coordinates or the mysterious eyes from the first chapter. This, the ability to see events outside her scope with clear mind, is the question I hope gets answered in a satisfying way.