• Member Since 5th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Keywii_Cookies55


Ameteur writer, light fan of many things, avid Let's Play viewer, Reluctant brony due solely to the rest of the fandom. For what it's worth I ship FluttershyxWaluigi.

Sequels1

T

Has a Sequel: GHT2: Clone Lores

Welcome to a different sort of Equestria, there is no Nightmare Moon or Princess Celestia, No elements of Harmony and no bad guys. Just normal ponies doing normal pony things. Like sleep in bushes, read the thoughts of dragons, and believe in ghosts.

Welcome to Ghost Hunter Twilight.

So right off the bat you may notice a fundamentally different sort of story to the canon show. One with the same characters, but with different personalities and roles. It isn't apparent in the first chapter alone, since at first glance it just seems like the pilot episode plus and minus a few things. But don't worry, I've got plans.

If you're not interested in a slightly more...condescending interpretation of Twilight, you may want to skip this one. I rewrote the character the way i wanted to. And I suppose technically the way i did it, if I changed the names, it'd be an original story, instead of a fanfic, but well, here we are.

Based loosely off a screencap comic I did in September 2015

All editing credit goes to my friend run.trivena
Also hosted on SpaceBattles: https://forums.spacebattles.com/posts/41031982/

2018 -01-17: And today marks the day this story officially shoots past Unblinking in terms of total view count. Which I consider significant because my Blink story was built on the shoulders of giants, it had a pre-existing fanbase. But Ghost Hunter Twilight is entirely my own creation, it has nothing to build off of (in terms of pre-existing fanfiction) so it's much more noteworthy.

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 39 )

Interesting, shall stick around

Can I please see this screencap comic?

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It's still available online to search up. Check under the same name and find it on tumblr.

Hm. "Sunny" is obviously a fake name. However, Fluttershy still called herself Pastel. And the pink voice... What the heck is going one in the mare's head?
Although... If my hunch is correct, and the two parts of the chapter are related, then it makes sense! Mostly. Being an ageless vampire makes you change identity from time to time, or else you get caught. Also, Flutterbat would be kinda logical, so I'm pretty sure about my hunch.
Still, that does not explain the voice in her head.

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I won't comment on your hunch, as the mystery is more fun when left to unfold. I will say however that both Sunny and Pastel are aliases. The first is a name somebody called her in greeting, the second is something she called herself in front of Spike as part of a routine in order to steal his life force. And this is merely during her relatively short amount of screen time. For all we know, she could have dozens or even hundreds of fake names that the folk of Partyville know her by.

Who's to say though, really?

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Oh! I haven't even realized that all of it was just a routine! It should have been obvious, but 'Shy being shy felt so natural that I got confused. Confirmation bias be damned.

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A running theme I've been attempting to convey in almost all facets of this story is that the shoulders of giants are for suckers. Centuries old supernatural lore? Pre-existing pony personalities? MLP setting? Scrap it all, it has no place here. XD

> Bonus points to whoever can correctly guess what Sweetie Belle is.
Hm, let me think... The huge metal plate is certainly important.
The first guess is a charging station. (Hi, SweetieBot!) The gutted tech also supports the theory. (Components for self-repair.) And the "tears never came to her eyes, they remained empty" comment...
I guess I'd stop at the first guess. She's a runaway experiment (literally), an AI that attained self-awareness and turned out to be much more of a real person than was intended. And they probably decided to terminate her before she ran away.

> (Without going to the comic you cheaters)
There's a comic? And it's ahead along the story!?
(Edit: Found it. No offence, but I prefer my imagination to do the world building without assistance from not quite matching visuals. I mean, there wasn't a dark warehouse with rows of shelves of books in the show, but Twilight's bright and tidy room at Canterlot castle with its rather small library just does not cut it for me.)

> Scootaloo phased through the door
Whaaaa!?

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I made the comic back in 2015, and while I enjoyed doing so, you're right when you say it's limiting, thus the reimagining as a fan fiction here. I have deviated somewhat from the original. The dialogue has mainly stayed in tact, but that's just because I like the dialogue I wrote, XD That said, as far as descriptions go, I distinctly enjoy what I've done here better.

As for your guess. I like the creativity. A hole in your theory though is that the 'tears never came to her eyes' is due more to feeling empty instead of full on feeling like crying. Which is a mood that people can have. I've definitely had lower days where I probably should cry but just stare blankly ahead. Still though, a fine guess otherwise.

Confirmation bias be damned indeed.

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This time it wasn't confirmation bias. SweetieBot is a suspiciously obvious answer for the question to be asked if it's the correct one. I thought for quite a bit this time, and that was the only coherent conclusion I could draw. If it's incorrect, I don't possess the required information to infer the correct one.
I have no idea what those "C-Level readings" are, and they are important. Apparently that's something not unique, maybe related to unicorn magic. Sweetie can sense those emissions, apparently she's the only one, and that's a good thing because hers would stand out a lot.
I have absolutely no idea what to make of her metal circle if it's not a charging pad, and the circle is definitely important. It might be for magic energy instead of electric, and it might actually be a grounding/discharging pad (for those excessive C-Levels of hers).
It might turn out that Sweetie is some kind of magic construct instead of a robot. At least she can teleport so she has access to some kind of magic or advanced tech, while that "puff of wight smoke" is not normal for unicorn teleportation so that's not it.

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To discuss in depth, or leave the mystery to unfold? This is the eternal question.

To help you...in at least a small way, I'll inform you that while I'm distracting with technobabble to the left, the real answers are hidden to the right, between the lines. But I doubt anyone would be able to guess based on the information I've provided, so I hope you don't mind my amusement at the theory-crafting ^-^

Her plate is not a recharging station, to put that thought to rest. I won't tell you what it actually is, but you now know what it is not. Suffice it to say, I had quite a bit of fun piecing Sweetie Belle together.

I hope you're willing to wait just a few more days until Chapter 9 goes up.

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Is it even possible to stumble upon the right solution around the internet and know with at least a shred certainty that that's it?
Even looking at the latest comic pages didn't help. I guess I give up. Just one last try before that, though, even if it's pure nonsense.
Those hotspots. They sound like stationary technological/magical nodes of some kind of network under Sweetie's control. Also, a bit of dialogue from the comic suggests that Sweetie can pretend to be other ponies, but I'm sure she's not a changeling. So what if… She does not have a real body at all? Her "body" could be something similar to a holographic projection, or even just an illusion, produced by those hotspots! And if her circle is one of those, it could explain why she appeared on top of it of all the places, and why she had to "teleport" into the clubhouse instead of just walking in through the door, for the walls could just be impenetrable for her signal.
I don't quite expect that theory to be close to truth, but that's all I have. And now I'll just wait and see.

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Well I'll say that you're certainly more imaginative than I am, XD I almost wanna just scrap my pre-existing lore for her and use some form of what you just described.

That said, you are right when you say that it's probably not possible to stumble upon the actual answer, considering my penchant for building this stuff from the ground up, ignoring most already established lore. I'll do up a short type of epilogue describing what each character is and how I envisioned them fitting into the story. Assuming I continue not planning to do a sequel.

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Well, thanks for the compliment! :twilightblush: If I may say so, I am somewhat good at enumerating the solution space and taking most possibilities into account, including unobvious and seemingly irrelevant ones, and in a somewhat efficient manner too. When I simply start throwing my theories at the task at hand and/or Google, usually some of them stick fairly quickly. :derpytongue2: And I get a little OCD when they refuse to, (:twilightcrazy: emiticon, anybody?) thus my persistence at trying to guess what Sweetie is. Unfortunately, it usually works well only for math or logic problems, and for beating software into submission and/or finding quirks in it. As a side note, I wouldn't quite call logic and sticking bits from different stories together "imagination", but nevermind.
And with that, descend into the new chapter. See you on the other side!

Edit
Sigh... I am still no closer to knowing what the heck Sweetie Belle is. Well, at least I got a few new hints for later.

I'm curious what exactly did they fuck up the last time. Did their deck of cards burn up in Apple Bloom's house? Were they getting rid of Apple Bloom's parents by chance? (Just a random guess!)
Anyway, I get it that most of the characters are quite a bit more cynic than in canon. For one, the idea of killing somepony hardly worries either CMC or Spike, and Twilight too for that matter. Tough life.
Oh, and lastly: Is Rainbow exactly the same as in the canon? So far even DaringDo (or similar) obsession matches.

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You raise a good point, admittedly I brushed Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack aside slightly when I was retooling their personalities and overall roles. That said, while I sort of forgot that she liked the Daring Do in canon, and so her introduction in my story was probably the most reminiscent of canon Dash. I believe you'll find in the coming chapters that she is actually rather unlike her counterpart in a key aspect.

Also, yeah, St. Orangeberg isn't for the squeamish or feint of heart. It's a gritty shitstorm featuring a heavy presence of class warfare and overall dread. Three of my main characters are either homeless, squatters, or are running a business that's actively vandalized. Now while Partyville is nicer than say Panhandlershot, that isn't much of a compliment.

It's...something of a consequence of my writing style, admittedly, to have characters struggling and cynical/bitter. I like exploring the human condition (or pony, in the case of my fimfiction work) and how they handle, adapt, and thrive in frankly terrible conditions. It makes for a more dynamic experience. The characters are shaped by their environment or experiences that make them believe their lives are just the worst. But despite that each make the best of the situation. And while in this particular story most of the characters propagate the cycle of shit, if you read between the lines a bit, they struggle, they fight, and they do anything they can just to make their lives as good as they think they can get.

I dunno, just something I do. Heh, you should read what I put Jane through. Man, THAT was a ride.

Sooo... Twilight is cursed with autobinding, heh? I wonder if it's limited to supernatural stuff. In any case, she's so very bound now that she's in Partyville.

"But also I came into living up here, no questions asked...somehow."

Who in their right mind would object to Twilight living in a library!? Also, she'll turn wherever she lives into a library anyway, if it isn't one already.

Hm. So Twi shouldn't touch the farmer, but she can't leave otherwise. Tough luck.
And why the heck Bloom just hired Trixie, calling her without much thought almost like a goto solution? From what I've read it seems that she's a hunter, not an assassin! Also, is she really the smarter/stronger one in this universe? (At least for now?)

Scoots is a time displaced ghost? Was obvious for a couple chapters. However... What the heck did Pinkie do to him? She didn't mean it, I hope, she does not seem to be bad.

And Sweetie? Powering illusion spells by "curiosity" and needing metal plates to absorb it? Like, what!? I like to think that my fiction knowledge is wide enough, but I have no idea what to think of this!

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A Hunter is...something of a loosely defined set of skills cobbled together in order to be good at keeping the balance between the living and the dead in St. Orangeberg. Plenty of Hunters take on side jobs to pay the bills. Trixie just so happens to be cool with taking a phone call made by some pesky little Earth pony so she can keep an eye on her old partner. and Yes, I made her the more competent/capable in this universe. Honestly I couldn't resist, it was too good an opportunity to pass up. XD

Scootaloo's problem Pinkie was partially explained in Chapter 11, but to summarize. Scootaloo was 'freed' several months back, whatever that might entail, and respects her own privacy. It seems that anyone being away of her existence is an issue. Pile on top of that the fact that Pinkie is immune to the memory wipes, which for a reason meant more work for Scootaloo. Well, the cocktail of ingredients means a dangerously unhinged pegasus has a target to pinpoint her anger on.

Finally, we arrive at Sweetie Belle. My personal favourite thing about this entire fic. Not only is her origin and description vague and shrouded, but I actually built all her supernatural lore from the ground up. I assure you that you'll never find anything like her in any other fiction. Her continued existence is courtesy of curiosity. Like how the gods require believe to exist, Sweetie too needs questions asked. The energy from this curiosity is collected in her specially hand (hoof) picked 'hotspots'. Plates of metal (which I never defined, but is a copper based alloy) are attuned to her. Making for an untold number of uses. Two uses are 'teleport to the location' and 'curiosity energy collection'. The reason she uses tech lingo is because she's a nerd. XD

Normally I like to be coy and hint at things without giving them away. But seeing as we're actually only three chapters away from being done, I'm feeling generous. In the same vein of thinking, I'll let you know that what Sweetie Belle is, is a Spectre. While vampires can vanish when line of sight is broken, Ghosts are displaced in time, and clones are a wave of ebbing and flowing nuisances. Spectres are creatures that require curious creatures to continue existing. XD

The shoulders of giants are for suckers. Just wait until you meet the final supernatural being.

It was at that point that Applebloom thanked whatever gods existed that she wasn't some cartoon character or something.

Totally not a cartoon. :-|

But the one girl she angered had to be the Whisperer.

And here I thought she was just a normal filly (if you ignore her ponycidal tendencies at least). Though I wonder, was she always like that, or did she get possessed right at that moment? She really seemed to be a more or less ordinary kid all the while: at some point thinking that Sweetie was an imaginary friend, fearing the "moron flip" and all that. What happened was really unexpected.

I suspect that Pinkie Sense is the only thing that can save Twilight now.

Oh, so that's how "whisperer" thing works. Apple Bloom really is a "normal" kid most of the time. And yeah, all this is pretty much "off the rails" as promised. Also, did that thing just acknowledge the existence of MLP multiverse?

In Twilight's experience help was just a thinly veiled justification for screwing somebody else over

Sooo... She wasn't too far off xD Granted, she's still alive and her problem of being bound to unbind Applejack is now solved. But Whisperer still got what it wanted.

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You have no idea how long I've waited to finally reveal the Whisperer. Like, if you look back on the comic tags from the original GHT. Any page that includes Applebloom has 'Whisperer' as a tag. I even have an old doc with her original speech, talking about the nature of MLP askblogs and abridged series. but obviously since the format changed I had to do a new one.

But yes, The Whisperer is not only fully aware of the my little pony fanfiction, but also of me and my tendency to write shitty situations for my characters. When I was writing her (him? it?) I had a lot of fun, suffice to say. Interestingly, when she mentions ponyville, I'd originally gotten so used to typing 'Party' I actually had to correct the mistake after the fact. XD

Well I for one enjoyed writing Ghost Hunter Twilight, and I hope you had an equally enjoyable time reading it. It's going to be sad to let this one go when I post the final chapter next week.

This about sums up how I feel about this ending. Please tell me there will be a sequel to this.

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XD That clip just made my day, you have no idea.

Way back when I planned on doing a second story. One where I'd introduce Rarity, have Twilight and Pinkie deal with the clone issue in one way of another, maybe have a plot line involving the vampire. As of this moment though I've already added a bunch to my plate, different snips involving an old character of mine. Some stuff related to SoTS: a story written by a friend of mine. And just a general break from writing, since GHT took a bit out of me to do.

So I might return - it's somewhat likely - but not for quite a while at the very least.

As for your 'so many questions' I'm here and liable to answer at least some of them. What's up?

It's definitely fun how Whisperer killed 2 (3? more?) birds with one stone. Or more precisely, saved them. And gathered them all in one place too.
It is definitely fond of the Mane6. It (kinda) saved Twilight, even if she does not agree yet. Partyville is probably better than the central districts, and they can make it even better together. Pinkie no longer needs to be silenced by extreme measures, and RD won't get framed for murder. AJ is now free. Oh, and Crusaders may not become murderers yet. It's a definitive win-win.

This was a nice story.
It definitely has the potential for a sequel. So far 4 of the 6 are gathered and Flutterbat is somewhere nearby. I don't think we've seen Rarity yet, though, but that can be fixed. And when they all get together, well, some things are bound to be the same all over the multiverse, and fate is difficult to avoid. An attack of Windigos awoken by sheer amounts of hatred all over st.Orangeburg would be too predictable, probably even too big of event for this AU, but I believe something fitting can be invented. Or it could go all slice-of-life, making Partyville more like Ponyville and such, with occasional challenges and freak encounters.

This fic has been featured in a chapter of the League of Sweetie Belles!

-GM, master of Whisper

So that was an experience. Was good

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

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Wow, I've... never really thought about it before, but I guess if i had to make some choices (and I can't find all of them, but here's some)

For Spike it'd be Jason Bateman
Rainbow Dash is Scarlett Johansson
I think the Whisperer would be Betty White? Not sure there.
For Pinkie and Twilight though I'm so unsure. I'm like 40% on Renee Zelweger for Pinkie, and that's the voice I'm most certain on. As for Twilight I can't find anyone that matches my idea of her.
Then for Applebloom I'm just not coming up with anything.

Well, that was... I don't know how to describe it, really. Like the feeling you get when you read an AU where things aren't quite what you expect, but stronger? But not like the feeling when you read a vastly different AU. It's weird, I can't describe it. Also it feels really vague and I feel like I missed a bunch of stuff (I was half asleep when I read this, so...) I must reiterate Semi-Perfect Cell's statement from the first comment on this chapter.

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The story for Ghost Hunter Twilight (1) is self-contained. However, i wrote it with the intention to explore the world more in subsequent story additions, like a 2-hour special that spawns it's own series

Chapter 1

"I wonder if I was too hard on him," she considered, "he did find my book after all."

"For all I know he's planning revenge on me or something."

Don't close the quotation marks at the end of a paragraph.

Chapter 2

"This is it," Twilight thought to herself, "I'm finally meeting her, no more pen pal crap, This is the real deal."

Extra capital.

And that sound is most likely a party, which will have other ponies there that will probably judge me."

"Parties aren't really my thing," the pink mare concluded.

Extra " again.

"So why Partyville anyway?" Spike asked Twilight, not averting his eyes from the map as he plotted the trip, "Meeting up with your girlfriend?"

Twilight's neutral and curious expression sizzled off as a hard glare trained itself on Spike, "Stop that, I don't want word getting out that I have feelings for her."

She quickly looked around herself to see if anyone had heard her, which she doubted, nobody in the vicinity gave any sort of notice.

I love how she responds aloud asking to keep a secret to someone speaking directly into her head. Very amusing.

The violet pony beside the first spoke up, "How do you interrupt walking?" She asked, Twilight restraining herself from creaming her frustration out loud.

Two things: 1 screaming and 2 is that one sentence or two? If it's one then she shouldn't be capitalized.

Stopping herself from stepping on a glop of batter, Twilight narrowed her eyes, "I swear, if it's not being surrounded by morons, it's walking into a since tornado."

I'm not sure what that is supposed to be. Maybe soup? Sense?

Chapter 7

Something Applebloom was acutely aware of was the fact that the vampire was leading her into the think forest of the wilds.

Maybe thick wilds of the forest?

Chapter 8

"And a lead on a new deck of cards for all of us."

"Finally there's a situation forming with Pinkie and her pen pal."

Extra quotes seem to be your most common problem.

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Well that's an embarrassing typo that's existing for three years. >.<

Also the 'since' tornado is an intentional spelling; it's to mean a past tense tornado. As in "since a tornado has passed through."

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It's not something any English teacher taught me and isn't something I even learned until recently. Honestly even now that I know this it still feels unnatural and sloppy to leave dialogue unclosed. Now why I didn't learn this particular grammar rule I can't say if it was because my schooling was poor or because it's an American rule I can't say. All I know is that I was 100% unaware of it while writing this story.

Also I had no idea how to not type passively.

I like this. Honestly the clarity that something is going happen. I even like the disdain from Twilight to Spike. His sassy and nonchalant attitude is real. Its just fun. Kudos!

I may have missed something but...wheres Spike?

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