• Published 7th Nov 2017
  • 1,099 Views, 39 Comments

Ghost Hunter Twilight - Keywii_Cookies55

Welcome to a different sort of Equestria, there is no Nightmare Moon or Princess Celestia, No elements of Harmony and no bad guys. Just normal ponies doing normal pony things. Like sleep in bushes, read the thoughts of dragons, and believe in ghosts.

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2 Party of Two

"So where does the map say to go?" Twilight asked curiously as the two walked through the quiet streets of St. Orangeberg.

The sun still reigned high in the sky, beating down on anyone unlucky enough to be caught in its grasp. It had, however, inched ever so slightly toward the evening horizon. The building rose towards the clouds around the street Twilight currently found herself in. There were other ponies of course, but they knew too well to leave alone anyone that didn't directly interact with them. Which was the exact reason the nearby pony running a newsstand not only didn't offer directions to whatever their destination may be, but completely ignored the unicorn altogether.

But this was to Twilight's liking. As a local to this district herself, she subscribed to the same rules of engagement, which was to say she knew to not. To talk with anyone often meant nothing good. The faded seven-inch scar running along her withers was an ever present reminder that you don't beg for food, you find it yourself.

Twilight knew that not all parts of St. Orangeberg were as bad as her district, but it was hardly nice anywhere. So leaving was out of the question, especially when physical violence was easy to deal with long term. Apparently downtown, where all the rich assholes lived, you could have your entire life destroyed for as little as being in the same room as somebody else.

To her credit though, Twilight had packed lightly for the trip ahead. The only thing she carried on her back was Spike, who himself only had two cans of soup in a backpack, some water, and a map. The directional piece of paper currently unrolled and held in his claws, his eyes tracing the streets leading from their current location to their destination.

Spike didn't raise his head from the map as he answered, "Pretty much everywhere," he thought with a touch of confusion, "but we're going the right direction right now."

Twilight nodded and returned to looking directly ahead of herself, very specifically noting that the buildings, factories, and parking lots that dotted the current environment were not directly challenging her lifespan. "Good to hear," She answered after a short moment of thought.

"So why Partyville anyway?" Spike asked Twilight, not averting his eyes from the map as he plotted the trip, "Meeting up with your girlfriend?"

Twilight's neutral and curious expression sizzled off as a hard glare trained itself on Spike, "Stop that, I don't want word getting out that I have feelings for her."

She quickly looked around herself to see if anyone had heard her, which she doubted, nobody in the vicinity gave any sort of notice. She was in the clear. Twilight let herself smile at her secret being kept and she turned back to Spike, "Besides, as far as she knows we're just friends."

Spike just shrugged, "Whatever, take a left up ahead."


The wind rustled through a tree in a park as Twilight and Spike looked out from behind a bush. The object of their interest was a busy street filled with ponies going about their lives. Twilight had an uneasy look on her face as she studied the ponies going about their work day, a noticeable majority wearing well-maintained suits.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" She asked, wanting to make sure they hadn't gotten lost so far.

Spike shrugged in return. "I dunno, are we even still in St. Orangeberg?”


Twilight was walking through a quiet residential neighbourhood filled with nicely kept suburban homes. She wore a smile on her face as she talked with Spike, who sat comfortably on her back. The thankfully deserted sidewalk provided a peaceful atmosphere to chat.

"So I read on," Twilight explained, "and it described what a ghost party actually looked like, apparently you can't tell the difference."

Spike's eyes lost focus as his vision began to swim. "Ghosts sound dumb." He declared, trying to comprehend Twilight's words.



"UUUGGGGHHHH..." Twilight groaned as she laid panting in a mall parking lot. Fortunately it was a large enough parking lot that only about a third of it was actually being used at any one time. The immediate area was devoid of any carts or the judgey ponies that drove them. Twilight was utterly exhausted as she panted lightly on the ground.

"C'mon Twilight, get up," Spike stood triumphantly above her, flaunting the fact that he was not only not tired, but looked energized. The smug coming off his grin could light a match. "We're about half of the way there."

Twilight, to her credit, steadied her breathing long enough to sigh. "Easy for you to say, I'm the one that's done all the walking so far."


Twilight was walking down a run down road in serious need of some maintenance with Spike by her side, he was looking at the map. His backpack was empty, the soup having gone missing at some point. There was a rolling field to their left, and to their right was a row of two-storey houses. They spoke of lesser wealth.

"Have you tried talking about this with her?" Spike asked as he focused on the map before nodding and beginning to roll it up.

Twilight just stared straight ahead, upset with the conversation. "I'd like to see YOU admit you're in love." She countered in an almost juvenile tone.

Spike just looked at her and raised an eyebrow as he returned the map to his backpack. "Twilight...I'm mute, I can't admit anything.”

There was silence for several seconds as Twilight stopped mid step to consider her response. She turned back to look at a smug-looking dragon before narrowing her eyes and beginning her stride once again. "Shut up, I knew that."


Spike sat out in front of a public library looking out of breath. The sun was noticeably lower in the sky and looked about four hours off from dipping below the horizon. Twilight stood beside him with an expression that, to the untrained eye might resemble some form of concern, but which Spike knew to be her heavily condescending gaze.

"Aww..." She mocked, lowering her head to be level with him, "Are your little legs tired? I'm sooooo sorry to hear that!"

Spike was far from impressed and just glared at her in return. "Piss off, you're a horse, I'm not made to walk for hours."


The sun shone down from its evening perch in the sky, the air slightly cooler as the day had begun to move towards night. The houses in the area looked run down, while at the same time lovingly maintained, almost as if they hadn't been touched by city workers in decades, but the people in the area took care of fixing problems themselves. A mountain range could be spotted in the distance, easy to see framing the area as the tallest building for quite a while was a three storey windmill about fifteen-hundred metres to Twilight's left.

She smiled a contentious smirk as she held her nose high above Spike, "Well you'll have to excuse me," she spoke, happy with herself, "I left my hoarding money back at the warehouse."

Spike, to his credit, did not look amused, though he also didn't look too upset, his frown being a bit closer to disappointment than anything else. "Ha ha, dragon jokes," he deadpanned, "haven't heard those before."

Looking to his left though, Spike raised an eyebrow before stopping his stride and looking down a street. "Say, isn't that your girlfriend over there?" He asked, clearly for Twilight's benefit.

Turning to look where Spike had pointed out, Twilight's eyes glazed over slightly and a genuine smile crept over her lips as her focus shifted to a mare walking toward the two of them. "This is it," Twilight thought to herself, "I'm finally meeting her, no more pen pal crap, This is the real deal."

The mare in question noticed the two of them and started walking over to them, her expression curious. Twilight smiled a beaming smile as a stray thought struck her mind, "I just hope she isn't too weird."

With a pair of curious blue eyes, the earth pony looked at Spike as she walked up to the two of them. Stepping within introduction range, her expression, while remaining interested, became a touch guarded as she looked at the unicorn. "What's with this silence?" Spike asked Twilight as he motioned to the newcomer. “We're finally here and you're not going to speak or anything?"

To her credit, Twilight was very alert, taking in all the information she could, though with her shifting eyes and uneasy expression, she came across as looking nervous. This was because she was nervous. "Say something, stupid," Spike prompted as he turned to look at Twilight, "You're both here and the time is right."

Twilight began to inwardly panic: what could she say? She didn't want to come off as too interested, or not interested enough. Thousands of thoughts flew through her head as she attempted to come up with anything to say. Her salvation came before the silence drew to abysmally awkward levels in the form of loud trance music nearby.

Her ears perked immediately and she drew attention toward wherever that music was coming from. "Do you hear that?" Twilight spoke stiffly, "That sound is loud music, do you want to go to that sound?"

Twilight and Spike both looked at the mare in front of them as she began to speak, "Well, I don't know who you are," She said, a bit of worry creeping into her voice. Hey curly mane bounced slightly as she started to talk, "I also don't know if you're even alive. You could be a bodysnatcher, or an escaped clone, or a new bog monster." Twilight's eyes widened at this, while Spike merely raised an eyebrow, "Really, you haven't introduced yourself, you could be anything. And that sound is most likely a party, which will have other ponies there that will probably judge me."

"Parties aren't really my thing," the pink mare concluded. Though, against all odds, her expression shifted from one of caution to one of amused delight. Twilight couldn't come up with any reason from the sudden shift. It didn't make sense. Whatever the reason though, the earth pony smiled, "But sure, I'll go 'to that sound' with you."

Before Twilight could catch that what she herself had said was probably really stupid, and not only that, but that the woman she loved just went along with it as if it was somehow adorable, Another thought engulfed her mind. "Oh god, she's so weird," Twilight thought to herself, "Half of what she said doesn't make any sense. I'm in love with a weirdo..."

Twilight blinked, a moment of pause enveloping her, not that the other mare noticed and began to walk to wherever the party was being held. "...well, shit..."

Spike broke Twilight out of her trance as he motioned to follow the mare. They walked behind her for all of 20 seconds before they entered a store called Oakfield’s. It was a two story affair with minimal window cover on the storefront, but looked to have rows of books, movies, magazines, and a rack of a variety of candy. The racks had been pushed aside though to make room for a couple dozen ponies dancing to a mellow beat, chatting, and generally looking like they were having a fun experience.

"Great, it's filled with ponies that can call me weird..." Twilight heard her not-girlfriend whisper to herself. Making sure all three of them were inside, she then turned back to Twilight, "Well, we're at the bookstore, and I was right, there is a party happening here," She spoke with a nod to herself, as if acknowledging the fact that her district was living up to it's name. She then looked at Twilight in consideration. "So who did you say you were?"

Twilight, for her part, had developed a bit of a contemplative frown over the last minute. "I'm Twilight, your pen pal, you recently visited me to gi-"

"TWILIGHT?!" The pink mare shouted excitedly, drowning Twilight out as she continued to talk.

"-ook you planted in my warehouse." Twilight finished, continuing to talk despite the interruption.

Twilight's friend didn't seem to notice though as she excitedly began to chatter. "Wow, I didn't even recognize you! I can't believe you're here! How was the walk over from Panhandlershot?" She asked, but Twilight didn't seem to be listening.

"Other ponies call Pinkie weird?" She thought to herself, her frown deepening as she looked over the party, "I don't know whether to be upset they insulted her or agree with them."

The obliviousness in conversation partner seemed to be contagious as Pinkie ignored Twilight's silence and conflicted expression. "I know you can't afford the train," she continued, "Or the bus for that matter, not that there's a bus stop within an hour of here, but you know."

"UUUGGGGGGHHHHHH..." Twilight groaned internally as she walked forward, her conflicted frown evolving into a conflicted glare as she trained her eyes forward and begun walking without a destination in mind; Pinkie followed. "And there she goes, rambling off whatever's on her mind, hasn't she heard of an indoor voice?"

"Oh I'm so happy you're here, I could use your experience," Pinkie blurted out, staring ahead but not really paying attention to where Twilight was leading her. "Some weird stuff has been going on recently, and you've dealt with weird stuff before. I know you said in your letters that you don't like to talk about it, but I hope you don't mind me bringing it up now."

"Well I clearly can't show her that I'm annoyed by her, that'd break her heart, but what do I do then?"

"We've been having some clone issues again, nothing too worrying, but it's still a concern. Plus the Ghost parties have been happening more and more. Did you find my book okay? I hope it was helpful, I know you were asking me about resources for dealing with Prometheans."

"I'm trapped between not wanting to be with her and never wanting to leave her" Twilight chanced a glance at Pinkie, who was still talking, before she returned hre deepening scowl forward. "I need a drink."

"And that book is the best for the topic, I don't know why you wanted to know about them though, did something happen recently?" Pinkie asked as the two mares stopped in front of a table at the back end of the store, one with a large bowl of punch and several different bottles of liquor and other alcohols.

"Here we go," Twilight thought as she eyed the different bottles, "A drink mixing stand." Taking a moment to consider her choice, she grabbed a red plastic cup in her magic aura, and placed it in front of herself before grabbing a dark green bottle and pouring some into the cup.

Pinkie walked up beside Twilight with a worried expression on her face. "Are you okay?" she asked, "You haven't said anything in awhile."

Twilight raised an eyebrow at this, because while Pinkie sounded worried, she also didn't actually look at Twilight for more than several seconds before turning away to talk to herself. "We've been pen pals for years, I thought she'd be quieter." Feeling satisfied with the level of her beverage, Twilight placed the bottle back where she got it from, "She was way more to the point in her letters, it's what I like about her."

"Oh, are you the silent type?" Pinkie asked, her worry fading slightly as she considered her new thought.

Bringing the cup to her lips Twilight took a sip while her eyes were distantly staring at nothing. "How can THIS be Pinkie Pie?" She asked herself, "Maybe I'm remembering wrong." Twilight placed the cup down, shaking her head slightly before she brought over a clear bottle with a bright red label and poured some into her drink. "I'll have to reread her letters, too bad I left them at the warehouse."

Beaming at her idea, Pinkie looked back at Twilight, who caught her eye as the unicorn brought the cup back to her lips. "This isn't what I expected, you always had so much to say in your letters." She brought a hoof to her chin in thought, "Maybe the walk was tiring?"

"But I can't walk back now," Twilight considered, lost in thought as she held the cup by her side in her magic. "It's pretty much night time and I'm exhausted. I'll have to make up an excuse to find somewhere and pass out."

Pinkie nodded in what she probably thought was a sagely way as she spotted a nearby staircase leading upstairs. "If so, there's a bedroom on the second floor you can use."

Twilight's far off gaze of contemplation faded away as she heard what Pinkie actually said. "That works," She thought as she gave a slight smile, signifying her gratitude.

"Thanks Pinkie." She finally said aloud for her not-girlfriend to hear as she and the drink floating by her side moved to the staircase. "Time to get some sleep."

Pinkie waved Twilight off and turned back towards the door. "Don't worry about it, no one really lives up there anyway."

Exiting the party, Pinkie lost her smile, ignoring anyone on her way out. And with Twilight having already gone upstairs, neither of them had left their own worlds for even half a second to notice that at some point during the party, the music had stopped and every party-goer was staring directly at them.

Author's Note:

I'd like to give a reluctant thank you to my buddy GMBlackjack for taking my suggestion of editing my work into a fully blown revising of quite a bit, XD

For the record he hates Twilight for being unlikable and it makes me laugh. What's not to like about this purple ball of judgement and condescension? She's a bitch and I love her for it.