• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Disavowed ASH


I kick evil in the NARDS ! Here be thy Patronage Page !

T

This story is a sequel to The Symphony of Canterlot


Edited by the brilliant Menace of the Mines!

That day half of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony had been out of town for more than two weeks dealing with a lynch mob that had formed in Appleoosa due to a stallion finding out that his wife to be was a changeling the whole time, and she had not told him about it. But that is another story for another time.

What were are talking about now is the incident of four Luna's Return, or as it was better known to the press at the time, and later the offices of the O.S.S -Occult. Science. Service.- as "The Cupcake Killings". It wasn't the worse I had seen, but it was certainly the first time I got to actually meet the Element Bearers. I consider that it's worth talking about, specially now that it's Nightmare Night.

This is how we brought an end to the 'She-Devil of Arkham'.

_____________________________________________________

Inspired by theCthulhu Mythos,Red HarvestandThe Dain Curse, and finallyThe Hellboy Universe.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 15 )

A nice start and a nice job well done, so good show dude :yay:

Good start but i think you might need a bit of a transition to make things less confusing.

"I got closer and told her, “You are more correct than you know.” "
Something that tells the reader we are doing a flashback
Do the flashback
Tell/show the reader we are back to the present.

I was confused because there was a flashback and no signal that there was one.

8701039

Got it. Sorry. I'll fix that now.

Thumbs up for this tale.

I liked the grittiness and the different types of equipment.
Elder Sign Array, that's pretty cool.
Chars were handled fine.

What could cause trouble:
You put your char against the mane six. Not sure that's a good idea.
I could see some folks bitching about this.

There is probably a 'rule' against OCs being more powerful than the Mane six.
Other than that I had a good time with this story.

8701086

He is not more powerful, he has been dealing with evil longer. He is 39. He even mentions how Twilight is the most powerful and brilliant sorceress in ages but she isn't very creative with her use of magic.

He, Daring Do, Zecora, Doctor Bronze Savage (based on the old Pulp Adventure stories character Doc Savage), Rocketeer Wrench, and a few others did save Equestria and the world a few times, though they did it in secret and without government approval.

8701086
Also thank you for the review, very insightful.

8701105
Hey, I'm not the one making these 'rules'.
I have no problem with your char but I can see how other folks might have problems.

I have to be aware of these 'rules' so I don't get into trouble.
Rules is in quotes because they aren't official but folks will notice if they are not
complied with.

8701172
Like I said, thank you. It was very insightful. And honestly you are cool.

8701184
Thanks.
I'm sorry if I sounded hostile.

Are you thinking of doing a series with your char?

8701791
It's already kind of part of a series. This is the same Arcanum Folklore that appears in The Symphony of Canterlot, only this takes place more than 3 years after that story.

And "Of Broken Hearts and Merciful Hooves" takes place 12 years before the show, when he was 23.

Nothing like some monster killing goodness to get the day statrted, nicely done dude, nicely done!

Whew, Dashie got a bit trigger happy with the shotgun, haha, I like it.

Keep it up.

Oof, harsh boi he be, hehehe :trollestia: very nicely done, Ash, nicely done indeed.

Well this was certainly one hell of a story, I liked it! :yay: lots of dark deadly magic and evil magical creatures nearly beyond comprehension, I love it! Reminds me of some plans I have in store for stories...

Good stuff man and nice job on this!

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