• Member Since 24th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2018

Kunama Windrider


Rainbow Dash has a dark secret... and an even darker path to walk. Will she choose friends over freedom? Or is the call of the wild too strong?

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 4 )
Danvs3 #1 · Oct 27th, 2017 · · · 4 ·

OK so probably one of the shortest stories i have ever read... needless to say rather confusing, but interesting. I wonder what happens next and what happened to Flutters.

Hi!!! Hope you enjoy this story, really sorry if its not that good... :twilightsmile:

Thanks for the positive feedback, I'll try to make it better for my next story.:yay:

Hmm... to be honest, I don’t know what to make of this. The standalone parts are mostly solid in grammar and usually have quite nice descriptions with an eye for detail. However, each of these parts feels as if you just took a story and cut out a small portion of the text from it. What I mean is, the chapters have something in common, but there is a lot, and I stress a lot, of context missing. For example, the biggest question is; why is Rainbow Ahuizotl’s student?

I think you are throwing darts in the right direction, you just need to slow down and let the story unfurl, not throw the reader in the middle of it. If there is anything you’d need help with, feel free to send me a PM:twilightsmile:

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