• Member Since 24th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Nov 15th, 2018

Kunama Windrider


When Rainbow Dash starts acting oddly, Spike feels that he MUST investigate. Then he sees some things that he never would have believed...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

Heh not too bad. A good start, is this ur first story? If it is well done.. Good luck with you future endevours!! :twilightsmile:

I'm gonna be honest: the story description read like click-bait and it made me want to NOT read your story. But because I didn't want to 'judge the book by it's cover' I went through and read it anyway.

My reaction is thus: it's too fast. Events came at me rapid fire and I didn't have any time to digest what they meant OR how they moved the story along, so I ended up feeling blindsided by the whole thing. I think that your paragraphs have enough substance in them to expand each one to a page in length, and I think that's what this story needs (Okay, maybe not literally but the point stands). It needs more time for the reader to get to know the characters as well as you do.

Thanks, and yes, it's my first story! :yay:

Thanks for the feedback.

:twilightangry2::raritycry: Mines not good is it stories: Twidash getting married, Twidash honeymoon and Princess Rainbow Dash:fluttercry:

Have you finished Fluttershy's Darkest secret yet?

How many words did you use?

You even make mistakes too not me I spotted one. :trixieshiftright::unsuresweetie:

To many MISTAKES! Or a couple if users agree please like my comment.

Well then. This was certainly more plot-hole ridden than any story I've read recently.

It was my first one. And there are worse out there!

I know. It was just an opinion that me at 1 AM had. Sorry if you took any offense. :twilightsheepish:

Nah, I overreacted. Anyways, I've gotten better since, so why should I care?

I need to learn to think before I write/do.:twilightblush:

Login or register to comment