Changeling are just works of fiction, right? Well not anymore. A certain drone from a certain hive during a certain event gets sent through a certain hole in the space time continuim (aka, an interdimensional hole in time) and lands on the outskirts of a small town. A human that knows of its race decides to save it and help it grow, but becomes a little too attached as some would say.
This story inspired from Queen Sanguine Dreams story.
Will add other tags as readers view necessary.
For early access to the chapters, go join the Discord group on Queen Sanguine Dreams homepage.
well... first things first, this starts so smooth and very interesting, somehow feel totally not forced, i really like where it is going, plus it has so much potential (it also looks like an other my little dashie for the list... not like it were something bad with it... but as a fact.
8528722
Well... have you taken a look at the one this was inspired by? Also, thanks for being the first person/pony/dragon/griffon/changeling/minotaur to comment!
8528758
lol true.
indeed, i'm already following queen's historyes
8528971
Also, was totally waiting for someone to comment before deciding to post new chapter.
Sudden MiB crossover?
8529144
Nope. Just how I happen to look as well. The "agent" part is just supposed to sound cool.
8529144
And besides, you think I'm bad? Read the one this was inspired by.
Interesting, you didn't give the ling a gender.
it is strange for Jackie to immediately assume internal body movement from being fed was an egg. Far more likely that the new influx of emotion suddenly flooded whatever passes for a stomach so much the feeling of being full was experienced for the first time ever.
8531709
Not at first, and this story was inspired by Queen Sanguine Dreams, so...
8531720
Ah...
Wait, what was the present.... It was a reverse present, wasn't it?
A whole month has gone by? We don't have mention of Euphoria attempting to return home, as fruitless as that might be considering capability and knowledge.
Speaking of: magic. Have they been lying so low that they haven't been experimenting with it here on Earth?
The appearance of the agent was odd. If this were a spy mission we could see him going it alone for reconnaissance, but if so he wouldn't have revealed himself so quickly without summoning backup. If it were not a reconnaissance mission, there would definitely be more than one agent in the room right now. As it is, this is probably the most favorable situation as barging in and making demands of submission would definitely not go over very well...
Keep going! ;)
8531747
The present was more friends. And Euphoria, upon learning that it's from a tv show, didn't want to go back. The organization the Agent is working for is meant to have unseen backup. His backup is yelling at him to get them to go upstairs to watch them though. And as for magic, Euphoria is using it with the custom laptop.
Hahahaha wut?
8535330
Randomness? What are you laughing at? Please use the
8535438
Sorry, we didn't mean to be rude. Will reply in a PM later tomorrow.
Is this somewhat closer to "The Emperors new Grove"? Because of the obvious title.
8535453
Nonono! It wasn't rude! I was just curious...
8535610
Nah. Just wanted to have a pun within a title for once. Plus, it was all I could come up with that sounded even partially decent.
this history is advancing fast... in fact, so much fast... dont you think it needs more character development? like not just throwing the new characters to the reader and then advance the history; but give the reader time to assimilate new characters and to the character to really have some actual interaction between them and gain depth... just saying , by the way the history is still cool, this new idea of a changeling-ized (? human... i like it
8540314
Yyyeeeeaaaahhhh... the first few chapters will be rushed, but after these ones, I'm going to do character descriptions, backgrounds, and personalities for chapters to get everyone used to the characters. And I'll do this for each and every new important character I put in, ok?
8540490
well in that case... Great :D
Hmmm, so he shoved the agent back, he disappeared, and had to be summoned via email to return? 😕
I was elated to see this touching story had updated.
Keep up the good work!!
Why is the second chapter just titled "2"?
Okay, I guess that will be a lot of comments while I read this on my smartphone.
First: the description of the story. The sentence with four "certain" in it is kind of strange, maybe you should word it in another way.
Secondly : how can this be one sentence?
Don't make such long sentences, readers get confused by them.
8531720
I second that, Jackie jumps to conclusions without knowing much. Also I think it's weird she just assumes... wait is Jackie male or female?
Anyway he/she just assumes she can name the changeling like some pet she found?
She should ask for it's name, than it can reply "Only the queen has a name" or something like that, after this she can suggest a name.
You talked about having her disguise as the dog to show her around... now a month has gone by and this is the first time she sees other humans?
There are so many things happening so fast.
Please... don't be angry with him. I knew about all of them, and did those things deliberately to give them the incentive to approach me like you did a month ago... if there's anyone you should be mad at, it's me..."
What? How? Why?
Try to pace your story, explain to the reader why things are happening. You may know all the reasons in your head, but without explaining them to the reader, many things will just look random.
Give the characters reasons for doing stuff, think about their motivations.
If you work on this this can be a good story, I see your really trying.
8726000
Yeah, it all comes down to doing more of "show, don't tell". The readers here need to be shown what's happening or happened, otherwise it might as well be a PowerPoint with some narration...
8726948
8726000
Aaaahhh ccccrrrraaaaapppp.... Thanks, both of you...
8727010 I'm sorry for not answering you. the internet of my cell phone is a crap
cancelled?
it's sad. I was interested in seeing how it develops
Question
I'm confused what happened in the last chapter.Was there a fusion between the pony and the human?
8730018
Nope. Human became... hybridized. He now both looking human/changeling. No magic though. And read the comments section. I had more holes than Chrysalis.
8730184
ok
8730204
No longer cancelled, but will be very long breaks between chapters...
9391899
I do... I'm in the discord server with the author, so... I know... it sucks ass that it did though...
9392010
Yeah...
10008718
Possibly, at some point in the far future... The original author, Queen Sanguine, canceled hers, which was the inspiration point of mine...