hhhhhh scripting a little bit. Not a lot of details.

OOWEE I wonder how Rainbow will recover from this one also come on guys you read the description, not every headless story needs fun murder time.

help me!

8481749
I like the comments. They serve to further disturb the more self-righteous people.

i think i need a sequel about rainbow recovering from this.

and it should involve the only kind of revenge headless_rainbow can cook up, violent murder.

8481749

fun murder time

That's what Professor Genki is for!

8482632
Glorious. This should be an event done at brony conventions with all the cosplayers.

Your rape fic does not suffice.

8483762
I guess it's a little odd to receive complaints that something isn't extreme enough. I have to resist the instinct to do the opposite of what dissatisfied commentators want for once!
Plenty of extreme stuff in the planning stages though.

Well. That was some twisted shit, but I've read worse. Good job though! Have a cookie; you've earned it.

8482009
I wanna see a sequel where she gets more and more despondent and listless, and nothing seems to bring her joy ever again. After a betrayal of this magnitude, after being used as a fuck-sleeve by her childhood heroes at her own parents' prodding, nothing would make sense anymore. She'd slip into depression, stop showing up for practice, and eventually wind up busted up and in the hospital after having a career-ending accident that the old Dash would've had the reflexes and attentiveness to avoid. Let's really twist the knife, here.

8486191
then violent murder?

Am I the only one who thinks that dismemberment is disgusting!!!! I hate you pe-ponies!!!!

8483997
If you've read worse, you might have read some of my other stuff! This is probably the second least bucked up one on my Headless account.

8484222
I thought of it myself! Though turns out plenty of others have thought of it independently.

8486191
Then Spitfire decides that the only way left for Rainbow to be useful is for them to have fun snuffing her? I feel you; don't know if I'll get around to it or not though!

8486373
You might be the only one in these comments that thinks that. My fans are bucked up with a capital B.

What the fuck did I just read.
Way to ruin a perfectly good setting for a rape scene.
This was pretty lame

8491482
Despite your well thought out and clear comment, I'm not entirely sure of the meaning!
Was it:
1) This story was ruined with rape (if it was that, see the link in the description to the non-rape version in the same setting)
2) This rape was ruined with story
3) This rape should have been a different rape
4) This rape needed something worse than rape like death or dismemberment

4 is the most common complaint so far, but I wanted to be certain I was getting the idea.

8492687
2 and 3. maybe a bit of 1
Pretty much everypony in the story was out of character.
The whole thing was quite random but not in a comical way but a weird one.
The motivation of the chars was missing or completely unbelievable.
I have the feeling you tried to make the story funny but it was just cruel and random without any comedy.
The consent version is a bit less cruel but has the same problems.

tldr: farm3.staticflickr.com/2776/4349687585_244a15c8a8.jpg

My (probably unwanted) advice:

• Make 2 chapters. First chapter is clop between Dash parents. Have an inner monolouge for Windy where she expresses a desire for a grandfoal. Make her obsessed with the idea.
• Take out the wonderbolts completely or just take one who is drugged by Windy (Zerba alchemy ftw)
• Make Rainbow eventually enjoy the ordeal because Tartarus freezes over before I believe Windy will just watch her crying daughter get raped

As for gore and dismemberment.
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8493327
That's better! I actually like well-thought criticism for my stories so I'm glad I got that out of you. it's one of the least weird things about me. Anyway, I'll write the most serious response that I am capable of.

The 'not funny' complaint is understandable because it's weird humor, but it's what fans of this account enjoy. I'm not wasting time on plot and canon characterizations when the target audience wants this. This kind of humor is called crossing the line twice and obviously not your thing. I have other stories that cross the line many times more. Read the description of this one and consider how my fans, the commissioner, and myself tell me it's hilarious.

That makes my next point hypocritical. I have an issue with 'raped until she likes it' stories right now. Rape is painful and traumatizing and people don't decide to like it unless they are pretending due to fear or are psychologically broken to the point that their consent isn't valid. I've increasingly felt the need to make rapes realistic even when setting and characters aren't, because too many people don't understand how traumatizing it is. In my mind, a story where a mare ends up liking it with a happy ending is more offensive than one that depicts her being defiled and humiliated because of it. So basically even when getting off on rape stories, I don't take rape lightly. You don't have the same contradictory hang-ups as me so think differently, that's fine.

The splitting it into two idea is interesting, and a good idea if I was going more for romance than clop, but I wasn't. This is just a story that won a poll for what I can do when resting from the projects I actually care about. If I write too long on one project without breaking, my brain dries up. I'll consider that for future stories that would benefit from a similar idea though, so you haven't wasted your time. If you want to read a story of mine with no crossing-the-line humor, try Polyamory and tell me what you think of that.

Not involving the Wonderbolts though wouldn't do. It's based on the cover image, and the cover image has three Wonderbolts about to fuck Rainbow. Anyway, there were people in the comments of the image asking for a fanfic, so I made one.

8493610
Well what is rape? Its sexual intercourse without consent. While I agree that most often it is traumatizing and not enjoyable, its still completely possible to have non consensual sex and still enjoy it and cum. Especially if the rapist thinks about the other's pleasure too (which usualy doesnt happen in rl)

While I enjoy the helplessness of females I find no satisfaction in a one sided brutal rape. Strangely im not into BDSM either. I guess I have very niche fetishes.

its still completely possible to have non consensual sex and still enjoy it and cum.

Um... ok I dunno if you're trying to correlate the two or not and, if not then feel free to ignore this little bit however, enjoyment is psychological while, cumming is physiological. Can you enjoy cumming? Most certainly. However your body can hit that trigger and you won't necessarily enjoy it. If anything cumming may very well have broken Dash even more psycologicly.

“Swallowfire,” Spitfire narrowed his eyes at him. “You want to know why?”

her

This ended far too abruptly. I wish you'd explored Dash's psychological torment more. I think this story is the literary equivalent of blue balls.

8521394
It has been suggested that I make a second chapter, but I'd need to both settle on what it'd contain and get around to it.

8521662
people generally just want more of the same, but honestly I think you should leave it as a oneshot and just resolve some things, like pointing out how humiliated rainbow dash is and how horrible this is for her. I know you state it in the chapter but it needs an ending note.

8521762
Whether I make a second one or not, that's a good point. I added a bit at the end, though it was hurried and unedited so might be crap.

Well boy dayum, thumbs ups!

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I can't help but think Dash made the right choice in not saying anything to her friends. They way things are going, she'd be wearing Applejack's rope and screaming into Fluttershy's pussy before she'd gotten halfway though explaining,

“Oh, I will,” Windy smirked, interrupting Rainbow. “By licking it off our new stepson when she’s done.”

This should probably be "son-in-law"

8656333
Well in one of my stories that's probably about how it'd go, yes.
Also yes, it should be.

8657355
Heh, I can't help but think Fluttershy would turn out to secretly be the most depraved of all Dash's "friends". You know, "quiet ones" and all.

I love how everyone is laughing and cheering and basically having this great fucking time making Dash their bitch, it really adds to the brutality and betrayal of it all.

As for gore? I think this story is better without it. If the plan is to make Dash into a broodmare, eviscerating her would kinda defeat the purpose.

If someone was to make an animated movie or an sfm based on this story, that would be pretty cool. Maybe even make a longer sequel to this story where her parents rather enjoying seeing their daughter being ravaged so roughly and bred so heavily, even going as far as to let her lose her athletic body and be plumped up.

8658927
It'd be awesome if someone made an SFM of a lot of my fics. Sadly everyone making SFMs of fanfics are mostly just doing remakes of the same 3 or 4.

You have no idea how happy this fic makes me. I can't get into your gorier fics, but I love the way you write psychologically destructive rape. This is perfection.

8792494
I do write psychologically destructive rape, but yeah, it's usually part of a gore fic.

8792799
Which is why I love this fic so much. All of the trauma and sobbing I love, none of the things I don't. I'm a little sad you don't do more like this, but I understand that you have different kinks

8792839
I have a few more ideas you might like too, so we'll see. I have a huge list of ideas.
Also nice avatar. You should rape it.

8793933
Heh, I've already written an extensive amount if Sweetie Belle rape. Not that more isn't fun.

I should at least take a glance at who the author is before I start reading...
Oddly enough, it's readable if you imagine yourself as RD. Which might be some kind of 'no I did not enjoy a hardcore rape fic' denial.

I hate you all.

8806193
You did notice the link to the consenting version in the description, yes?

8806221
Yet I foolishly read this one...

It will be interesting when Rainbow finds out she will have an ace in the hole in every conflict against her husband. He wouldn't dare cross her mother or risk hurting the foal even by proxy. Oh, the irony!

8806272
Well it's not all bad for Rainbow! She would have married Soarin either way, but now she has a special fond memory related. I wonder what she'll say when her kids ask how did they decide to marry each other.

well that's kinda fucked up

8884386
This is one of if not the least fucked up story I've written on this account.

8884683
I'll say. I didn't even realize it was one of yours until I saw this comment.

8806610
Most likely after such a long time she would be more like her mother in that effect and would say something like. "Oh we met in the wonderbolt locker room, at the time I was a little 'tipsy' from the show and didnt enjoy it as much as I should have. Giggle"

8908489
Nah they'd be honest.
"Your father raped me and knocked me up in the locker room."
"Oh. So is that why you've tied me down and invited over the colt you'd like me to marry?"
"Yep."

8908615
Okay.... I could see that... I accept this head cannon.