• Member Since 30th Jun, 2017
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I really, really, like seafood. ... And dark chocolate. Can't forget about that, too.

Comments ( 118 )

not a fan of vagrant story per se coz i hate the game not the story!:moustache:

but nice story though cant wait when they summon iron in equestria!:trollestia:

Thanks for the kind words, and I am glad you enjoyed the story so far.

And yes, it will happen on the next chapter.

Thanks, man. I will.

"Raises fist to the sky" Onwards!!

Still a few hiccups, but nothing massive. I can't wait to see more.

I know what you mean, I intended to upload the story for approval only, so I could launch this chapter with the editing process done.

It will be updated with the edition done, upon which I invite you to visit again, and see the wonders of a good editor in action.

(n_n) May I meet you later, and I hope that you enjoy the fruit of my labour.

Eeee~ I love conversing with new writers. Shoot me a message anytime!

I'll be glad to, if you wish to discuss things about the story itself.

There are also books I can recommend, for writers that wish to improve themselves.

Well, to answer your question: For one, it is an exercise to output a constant amount of words per release, to practice both writing and narrative storytelling... so I can actually put it to good use when I write original material for selling.

Second, I am a wordy bastard, and I like to read meaty stories that have lot of detail in them.

Third, I believe that a story of this type would actually suffer if cut to chapters of one thousand words and such. The source material - which is shown in the spoilers - is really Shakespearesque, with a Metal Gearesque main character according to one critic. For a game, it had a surprisingly deep story, and I didn't want to detract from it as I love that game.

So, it is a matter of choice for me to write as much as I do, within a self-imposed time limit. :twilightsheepish:

Also, I do it because I like to challenge my readers. :trollestia:

Awesome story so far man keep them coming and I'll keep supporting and what I'm getting from this story is the dark Knight kind of vibe like the hero use dark power to help or save and the people he save with it or helps treat him like the plague I'm I right in that cause that what it sound like from the crestal empire story

Hello there, thank you for your kind words of support for this project, and it warms my shriveled and blackened heart that you're enjoying my work so far.

Stories always have two sides, and I hope to surprise you with the next release as to the reason why.

Well, either the next one or the one after, as both will be about revelations of things to come.

I like this story so far.

I hope the ponies get what's coming to them.

I also hope The Warden/Iron Ash kept his power, I rather liked him with it.

I thank you for your kind words of support. :twilightsmile:

And I think that the following chapters will quite surprise you when finished and published. :pinkiehappy:

You know, I normally don't do this, but something about how you write and how you act, make me think that you sir, have potential, and what ever you create, I want to be there to see it, so have yourself a follow good sir!

I sincerely thank you for the vote of confidence in my skills that I'm honing here at this site.

Also, I thank you for the follow.

Here's to me keeping up the quality, and even improving when my editor gets through the chapters. *raises glass of apple juice*

Congrats my friend, you've got eleven likes! (And much more later on)

Thank you for your good wishes, my friend. :twilightsmile:

Ohh hoho... shit just got GOOD! I can't wait to see where this goes.

Ever wondered what it means 'when it hits the fan'?

That's enough spoilers for ya. :trollestia:

500 pesos say that shit is going to hit the fan.

Wonder when the ponies will realize that a Warden is someone who wards off something, in other words someone who protects and safeguards. So Warden of Darkness equals protector from darkness.:derpytongue2:

My only problem so far was that I think you went a little too far when writing in yeh old equish. Some parts where it was used I could barely understand what Luna and Celestia were saying. :applejackunsure:

Nice story so far, good work, keep it up. :twilightsmile:

Thank you for your kind comment, greatazuredragon.

Trust me, they will know soon enough... and come to meet someone who will not work by their standards.

For the ancient english lingo, I used this site to assist me: https://lingojam.com/englishtoshakespearean

Copy the 'ye olde english' into the part that throws the shakespearean while keeping the normal english space empty, and it'll throw the translation into modern english.

And yeah, for the rest of the story, I'll keep it simple - the flashbacks will use modern english, even in old times.

An enjoyable read and different from what I expected, however it reads less like hhw you claimed "deconstruction" of Displaced and more like HiE.

Thank you for your kind words, midnightchaos - I makes me happy to know that it was unexpected for you, as one who has seen and read plenty from the genre.

It is true what you say - that this has more feels of a HiE, but I hope to change that notion in future releases, since so far the MC has the cliché feel of the 'dark and edgy' type.

Which, while being truthful - isn't all that makes him up as a person.

Also, this won't be as intellectual as Displaced into Nothing (which is far more philosophical in nature while being an excellent story both in art and in craft), but I'll aim nevertheless to write a story worth reading.

I often find that short chapters don't let me immerse with the story as well as long chapters do.
It keeps the narrative flowing smoothly in my mind.
Scrolling down the page is more mindless than moving my mouse over to 'next chapter'.

Bloody awesome story btw, I'm really enjoying it so far!
Don't know the character very well as I have never played the game but that's not bothering me in this case.

Do not fret, as I intend to address that in the following chapters.

Give a spin to the original canon content, while trying my best to keep it engaging and significant.


I do find more useful to use the arrow buttons while I read long fics, though. :moustache:

I need the words to align perfectly with my screen, OCD bs lol mouse scroll is more precise :twistnerd:

That's strange, how did I miss this chapter?
Oh well, let's see here. . .

Well, after reading this I can think of only one phrase appropriate to be said to the ponys. . .

I am a bit sad that he lost his powers, I would have loved to see how that would play out when he woke up, nevertheless a good chapter.

Hello, Mr. Mustache.

I, too, have no idea as to why this didn't update when it was supposed to, as I uploaded it within the last week of september.

However, I am working in the next chapter - finally broke through writer's block - and am around six thousand words of the nine minimum I self-imposed.

As for his powers ... trust me, those aren't the thing that makes Iron Ash truly dangerous.

Well, thank you for your comment, and I hope to see you in the next release! :twilightsmile:

Loving this story so far, shame there aren't more people reading!

I am pleased with you enjoying this product of mine, and I hope that the chapters to come are to your liking. :twilightsmile:

Also, you could spread the word about this story. :moustache:

Lol, just kidding. But thanks for your comment. :scootangel:

My updating schedule got thrown off the rails when I suffered both writer's block and burnout - and until recently I managed to continue writing the next chapter.

Lesson to share to others: when feeling blocked, imitate the pokemon slowpoke and stop thinking for a couple days, and your brain will collaborate with you again.

Will do my best, though - I didn't want to annoy you, my dear readers, with dry exposition - which is why I ran late for this release.

Submerging in one's memories can turn into a dry spell 'cause its boring as hell, and I wanted to avoid that.

Will share more details when I upload the chapter at my blog, as to why I got screwed sideways with a poleaxe.

Wow, thanks for the compliment, man. :twilightsheepish:

Just asking, though... what have you liked the best about this story so far?

To me them going through his past and that he ten thousand years old like I could picture their faces

Oh let me not forget the ending when they all side Lea monde


Imagine that time passes differently within the dreamworld, add to that the silent watcher Star Swirl commenting just that on the next chapter - and you will get a 'WTF' face from the seven ponies inside him. I hope to render that scene as well as possible.

Heh, thanks for the compliment.

Just out of curiosity... what was it that you found heavy within the chapter?

Then there is: is my characterization close to canon for the MLP characters? I usually dislike evil or incompetent princesses in canon and stories, so I'm aiming for a competent, yet less fallible leaders than the norm. I hope to make them relatable in that regard.

Well, anyways - nice to have you around here, and I hope that the next chapter is better than this one.

Have a nice day! :twilightsmile:

Ashley's beginnings and the fact that the ponies we're not only taken through that emotional rollercoaster, but that they had to face the cold truth that: They fucked up.

There were a few grammatical hiccups here and there, words seemed out of place. I'm looking forward to what happens next.

I have to admit - this chapter was one of the hardest ones to write up to now, and its issues show up.

I hope to eventually have this chapter edited to iron out the defficiencies to improve its quality.

Thanks for replying. :twilightsmile:

Anytime, on a different note, you haven't been experiencing earthquakes for any reason?

Well, to be honest they do happen every how and then - but nothing as serious as what happened at Mexico.

But lately? I haven't noticed.

Oh good. And yeah, what happened here in Mexico was nuts.

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