A Naughty Nightmare Night (18+)

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Comments ( 10 )

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Zheroxzone

Zheroxzone #1 · May 8th, 2018 · · ·

Ok, not bad, this was a fun little read. However you might wanna work on the description as i didnt see any instance of oral or hardcore at any point but correct me if im wrong.
Also it was a bit difficult and even confusing to keep track of the positions the way they were written. And it would've been nice to read the extra 3 rounds these two made after the first instead of just stating that it happened as i really enjoyed going through this and would've liked to see more.

Gamer Script

Gamer Script #2 · May 14th, 2018 · · ·

8913351
You're correct as in writing this I forgot those two aspects. And I do plan to come back to this and add more but I've had a good bit of life hitting me for the last few months, so I've had no time.

Zheroxzone

Zheroxzone #3 · May 14th, 2018 · · ·

8923691
Understandable, when you decide to make some adjustments feel free to send me a message as i would like to go through this again.

Zheroxzone

Zheroxzone #4 · Aug 30th, 2018 · · ·

Bravo, im impressed. Although i have to say it was such a long time since i read the old version that its hard to make a comparrison but this is definitely much better and more satisfying than the last one, plus the ending was really sweet
Overall i would say this was a good retelling of the story, good job.