• Member Since 4th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 21st, 2013

CNUBRONY


E
Source

Spike, feeling alone, is delighted when one day Rarity offers to take Spike on a first date.

Ignoring the foreseeable problems with a relationship with Rarity, Spike happily agrees and prepares for the time of his life dating Rarity.

Unfortunately, Spike's luck, and love are seemingly coming to a crashing halt as he starts arguing with Rarity, causing Twilight Sparkle to be placed in the awkward situation of deciding between friends.

Spike fights the odds, Cupid, and Lady Luck to keep Rarity, but will he be successful?



Author's Note: I know a Rarity/Spike story isn't exactly original, but I've tried to give this my original, perhaps somewhat darker take. I picked it because with my first story, I wasn't trying to write some fanbase changing, incredible, best-selling fanfic, I just wanted something to write, so I could receive criticisms on my writing style, and take it from there. I appreciate your time and your comments!

Thanks for your time!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 12 )

You have a great writing style. Though it seems a bit rushed, you get the emotions across, unlike a lot of writers. The vague ending is perfect, leaving just the right amount to the imagination to not drive somepony crazy. I'm impressed he never confronted Twilight though-I'd love to see that. Overall, have a thumb.

Why not pile all your tiny chapters into a simple one-shot?

I think it would be better that way. Just my opinion. :trixieshiftright:

bulled out a chair

I think you ment pulled.

Dont worry about it.

I like it its to short for my taste but its a nice start you do kind of well kepping everone in their own personaltys

Ouch Rarity if you dont like him why end it so down right cold it hurts.

It hurts worse then this

photobasement.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/ouch-that-hurt.jpg

Dam this is painfull to read.:fluttershyouch:

oh and a second spelling mistake you put car instead of care

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I HATE VAGUE ENDINGS!!!!! I always perfer the happy ever after ending but the first dude is right you did a real good job of getting the emotions across to the reader.

Over all I like it, except the ending but I really do like it.

legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/022011/chuck-norris-approves.gif

short, sweet and right to the point..... its perfect, great story:pinkiesmile:

863279 lol, is your avatar picture what I think it is?

921093 what do you think it is? :trixieshiftright:

:twistnerd::raritystarry::twilightoops:We're from the Royal Guard You're under arrest for dragon abuse & Violations in Dragon labor laws:derpytongue2:

Please complete this...Vague endings kinda just seem... 'incomplete'.

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