• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Apr 23rd, 2016

masorin


E

The Doctor and his companions go on an adventure to the far future to the distant Lunar Republic. but the longer they stay the more things are not as they seem. from a dying apple orchard to an old foe that refuses to act the way it should.

It's a grand mystery down in Luna's republic, and something is very wrong. Can the Doctor and the mane six save the city before time runs out, or will this mystery be the death of them of all?

Episode 1: The Hour Of Twilight.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 52 )

Aw, man, that's kind of sad, with the prereaders...
Anyway, nice chapter!

Hello, I would be glad to help you pre-read. I have a pretty vast understanding of Doctor Who (I have seen all the episodes except a few from the latest seaons) and I have seen all episodes of the spin-off series, Torchwood. I also am a brony (no duh) so I have an understanding of MLP. I would be glad to help you by editing and pre-reading. If you are interested, send me a private message on here and I will give you my Skype contact information.

As for the Chapter, I loved it. A few gramatical errors here or there, but otherwise it was brilliant. I am a huge fan of your work :scootangel:

P.S. My editor may be able to help you out as well, he is brilliant. He has been honest, loyal and is always eager to help.


Thanks,
Mathias "D1SEL"

Oh shit this is getting really fuckin godly

Fantastic start! If you still need more help with editing, I can help you, but I'm afraid I my knowledge of Dr. Who related things is very limited.

Its got a few errors, but it's good enough so far.

Called it after the first death.

But yeah, the Doctor's description of them doesn't invoke the sense of dread that it should have. I'd suggest watching the episode 'Silence in the Library' for a reference.

Remember, this is the Vashta Nerada we're talking about here.

44584 they are the Vashta but not as you know them and also I didn't try to invoke horror, I honestly was going more for a sense of mystery. I did watch the episode 'silence in the lybrary" but my fan fic's arn't based around episodes.

nothing is as it is supposed to be down in the lunar republic and part of the point is the mystery behind it :3

" I ever get my hands on the engineer"

You put hands. Hooves, man Hooves.

46288 and this is why i need pre readers, editors, and time, i got that error fixed sorry about that.

46294 Pffft, 'salright. I understand, dude. I can help, if ya want :pinkiehappy: (I'm helping my friend already, but we see each other on a daily basis IRL, so I can set aside time to pre-reading for ya!)

Tell me whatcha need! :pinkiesmile:

47351 actually ive already brought on three new pre readers onto my team, and they all seem to know and understand what will be required of them. For the moment i believe my issue with pre readers has been solved, but thank you all who ever was willing to extend a hoof. you all showed a tremendous amount of kind offers and I am thankful to all of you.

you all rock :yay:

47356 Eh, it's cool. :twilightsmile:
Like I said, I'm writing a fic of my own, helping my friend with his, and proofreading and editing somepony else's fic. :moustache: I have given myself quite the workload, eh? I'm still doing high school, so editing someone's fic isn't high on my to-do list. I have HW assigned monday that I still gotta do before tomorrow. Confound these ponies! They drive me to forget my Real Life duties.

Woo! New chapter, getting good!!

THIS IS BUCKING AND FUCKING AWESOME AT THE SAME DAMN TIME !

Who else is listening to Doctor Who music while reading these?
:twilightsmile:

53374 I don't know about when people read them, but often i have Doctor Who music, or MLP music playing when i write them

47356 Oh my god it's run on sentences oh how I hate them for not having punctuation and jeez luise, fella! I thought you had prereaders, but maybe you fixed it already I put it in word and was unable to read because I couldn't find many commas and that makes it hard to read and my brain hurts from me just typing this GAAAAAAHHHHH I CANNOT STAND TE-PAIN!!!!!!

60118 during chapter one's production two of my pre readers quit, and i was forced to write and edit it on my own. new pre readers were brought onto the team, but I have been busy, and never got around to asking someone to edit chapter 1 for me. I know its a poor excuse, but yeah chapter one was done souly by myself. sorry for that.

60122 Eh, don't worry. I understand, lol. I've got a good start on my own fic, but if it weren't for JuyUnseen and ratmage99 - along with my RL friend (username) Marik_Azemus, I wouldn't be as far along as I am. :twilightsmile: I have had much help, and I understand not getting it sometimes. I'm still waiting for Juy's RL to stop taking his time, he's been a really, really big help. :twilightsmile:

So, this is a thank you to all editors out there who aren't flakes. Thank you! You make reading these fan-fics bearable! :rainbowwild: (no offence, I mean my own as well.)

It's okay. I'd rather wait for quality, then have you throw something shoddy up.

60772 Pffft. Shoddy? S/He's a badass. S/He could take my crappy shreds of a fic and sew them into the most awesomest of fics ever!

... But seriously, get better, please? :twilightsmile:

60868 Of course. How foalish of me to even insinuate such a ridiculous idea.

What SBM and Abs said: I'd rather have quality than quality, especially from a writer such as yourself!
Best of wishes from myself!

Ciao!!
- Ohm Macre

Its cool with me, a late quality chapter is better than an early piece of rubbish.

...why are the Vashta Nerada reminding me of parasprites all of a sudden? :trixieshiftright:

64280 where is a tuba when you need one am i right?

Why must I wait for another chapter. I want one now! :raritydespair:

Seriously though, awesome job, keep it up.

64397 again please give thanks to Adam his quick editing and reading helped get this chapter out on time, and looking great. when everything conspired against me to make the deadline he was a saving grace.

64401 Thank him. Thank him. He edited this into a masterpiece. Thank him. :pinkiecrazy:

64283 More like "okay, who mucked with the dietary needs of the perpetually hungry", but close enough. :derpytongue2:

I forbid you to die. There are very few GOOD fic writers (in comparison of the fact that there are millions of fic writers that there are only a few hundred that come up with anything that is worth reading. You are one of those hundreds.

64280
They could very well be relatives of them. Remember at one time Twilight cast a spell on them to make them eat everything 'except' food, which means they would not be eating meat or fruits, and it's been a long, long time since that in the current date, which means that they could have changed via magic or natural adaptation into what they are currently, they multiply like mad, and they're smart-ish.

Awesome! Sounds like an excellent Christmas gift,and if not, Boxing Day gift! :D

I did my best. :heart: Although someone emailed me the wrong chapter.:trollestia:

"Take Pinkie Pie with thee" not thou. Great Doctor story.

That was amazing. Sad, but amazing.

I wish you didn't ruin the story with this chapter. you should've kept it separate, like in a blog post.

64991
They could already talk. Not much has changed, and vashta nerada are way to small to be a relative.

2417042
When I made that comment I was of the mind that The Vashta Narada of that world were directly related to the Parasprites. I then read and found out later that they were not.

i can help with the editing part...my grammer based OCD spots errors easily, unless i am tired. because then i have to read then re-read things in order to spot errors my vita makes.

78895 -is confused,- called what? from what i read, the vashta narada were caught alongside the parasprites. they are pretty much insect-ish things as well, but with no relation to parasprites. (no idea if that was what you called or not :derpytongue2: ) but anyway, it's easy to target insects for a spell, but not so much to differentiate parasprites from vashta narada when you can't see the vashta.

61223 Dude, you have the word quality twice in that one sentence. The word you want to use to replace the second quality is quantity.
Random moustache! :moustache:

Hahahahahaha! Oh, the part where the Doctor and Luna fight; oh that was hilarious!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Random moustache! :moustache:

3451921
Wut.
I must have been REALLY REALLY TIRED when writing that.... nearly 100 weeks ago?!

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