A Discorded Family

by Bakmah Genesis

-4-

The smell of mid afternoon coffee brought memories of when Twilight and her mentor spent all nighters figuring out problems. It happened only a few times when the Princess of the Sun would agree to help her with algorithms over something she had been pondering. As she sat in the Celestia’s chambers, she could see that it had been a rough night.

Celestia’s hair was ruffled and she had dark bags under her eyes. Looking at the cup, Twilight could tell it had been filled numerous times that afternoon. Papers with words scribbled on them cluttered the floor, a few sporting coffee stains or the occasional puddle of drool.

Taking one of the papers, Twilight could tell it was some speech, partially since it started with Celestia’s famous “My dear little ponies” header. Before she could read the rest, Celestia took it from her grasp, throwing it aside with a sigh as she set down her cup.

“It has been a long night. The nobles have been looking for every way to make what you did against the law.” Celestia chuckled. “Some tried to call it beastiality due to the different...appendages that Discord is made up of.”

The draconequus scoffed. “I’ll have them know that I am no beast! I am perfectly proportionate mess of creatures. In some ways, it gives me more of an advantage than most stallions.” Twilight stifled a giggle as she blushed. Celestia shook her head with a sigh before continuing.

“Anyways, they want to either remove Twilight from the crown or take the child out of your custody for ‘possible child endangerment’. The most preferred for them is both at this moment.” The alicorn stood, pacing the room. “Despite the fact that Discord has stayed rather calm compared to other events the past few years, there is still a widespread dislike and unease towards him. I want to keep this from becoming a public debate as long as possible, or I’m afraid you’ll lose.”

“This can’t continue forever, can it? They can’t argue on it forever if we try to keep back.” Twilight held onto the bundle on her chest, afraid that something could come and steal it away.

“I’m afraid it will be a constant on and off battle until she is a legal adult. Then if you write a legal will to have her as an heir, there wouldn’t be any ground for the nobles to attack you on. Of course, that is eighteen years of making sure that you keep up the ‘responsible’ parents act.”

Discord stood there, staring at his feet as he pondered the situation. The draconequus walked over to Twilight, taking the small bundle from her. Penumbra was still knocked out from the spell Twilight put her under. The filly squirmed in discomfort, settling down as Discord tickled her belly with a claw. She let out a soft sigh as she curled into a ball.

“I am not going to let a group of pampered mortal ponies take my daughter away from me. They can try but they will not succeed.” He let out a sigh as he sat on the chair that suddenly appeared in the room. “I will even try to become…” He shivered. “Normal... if it means a better life for my daughter.”

Celestia nodded. “Right, but there is also the problem with the Servants of Equestria.” With a quick spell, Celestia brought out a map of Equestria, small red markings over a few places in forests and major cities. “They have expanded the past year since it’s formation here in Canterlot. A few small towns and cities like Baltimare have been affected. They are slowing making their way down to Ponyville since that is where you live, obviously.

“It’s been years since we have had an anti-political group that was an actual threat. I heard of your attack on the way here, so it tells us they are willing to attack Equestria Leaders for their beliefs. This could work in their favor, and possibly strengthen their numbers. So, as a precaution I need to break my promise to you and deploy a team of guards to protect your castle at all times. Maybe even fortify it better with walls and watchtowers from the Crystal Kingdom builders.”

“You’re afraid of a seige.” noted Twilight. Celestia let out a weary sigh.

“Without proper fortifications, your castle is very vulnerable. There are multiple spells that are able to break the crystal defenses. If we build a wall and add a detachment of 200, we can have the wall and inside of the castle thoroughly protected from attacks. We could also have it linked to the Canterlot and Crystal Kingdom castles so if it is attacked, we will be alerted and can send additional troops to assist.”

“If we do, I would like Shining and myself apply the wards ourselves. Between an accomplished Mage and unicorn with immense knowledge on protection barriers we could get it done faster and better than normal unicorns.” said Twilight, standing. “Besides, I’m not going to let someone blow up another one of my homes.”

“So be it. I had one of my Sergeants promoted to Captain and he is getting a force of 200 soldiers of his choosing together. You might have already met him. I will have a contractor over this week and he has orders to start immediately on planning and building the defenses.”

Twilight sat down with a sigh. “This progressed a lot faster than I thought it would. I never suspected that this would happen.” said Twilight, examining the floor. “Just yesterday I was holding my newborn daughter, and now I am fortifying my castle to withstand enemy attacks, deploying an army to guard it, and preparing for an eighteen year custody battle against the Canterlot nobles.”

Celestia sat next to her former pupil, wrapping a wing around her. “Our job is never an easy one. Sometimes, things feel like it gets out of hands very quickly. The only thing you can do is make the decision you think is best and hope that you can solve it before it gets worse.”

“And if it doesn’t get better?”asked Twilight, looking up at the ceiling. “If the nobels win?”

“Then you fight to make it right. You don’t let anypony tell you otherwise, and you don’t give up.” Celestia chuckled. “I have used that advice after Nightmare Moon and other enemies.” She stood up, with a long sigh. “I appreciate you two visiting, but the past few hours have taken a toll on me. I must bid you farewell for now while I sleep. Your Captain and his guard should be waiting for you in the barracks.”

---

Twilight visited the guard barracks only a few times, all when Shining was the Captain of the Guard. The majestic tapestries and marble walls of the castle were replaced with dull stone bricks, low lighting, and rooms cramped with bunk beds.

After asking around, she found out that the Captain of her guard was waiting in one of the few offices, gathering paperwork to be transferred. It took them a few minutes to travel through the tight, maze of hallways to the offices.

Turning into the office they were directed to, Twilight was surprised to see that the Sergeant that escorted her to the Castle was in there, collecting papers while wearing the armour that gave him the rank of Captain. The stallion turned as he heard them enter, giving them a brisk salute.

“Princess, it is nice to meet you again and I am determined to keep you and your family safe.” The captain put down his hoof, Twilight still recovering from the display. She shook her head before nodding.

“I am honored by your display, Captain. May I ask your name? I did not catch it on our way here.”

“Steel Wing, your highness. I have served under Celestia for four years now.” Twilight smiled.

“You have ranked fast, Captain. I can only hope that means you will serve me well in the years to come.” She cleared her throat. “Is your squad ready so we can head out to Ponyville?”

“Yes, ma’am. I have a detachment of ten including myself to escort you via chariot to Ponyville. Another set of twenty will fly a few miles behind us for support while the rest take the military transport to Ponyville. They should be there only half an hour after us.”

“Well planned and prepared, I like that.” Discord snickered.

“That’s because you freak out if something is off schedule. You even planned a trip to the store using time charts once.” Twilight huffed, pawing at the ground.

“We were in a hurry.” She let out a sigh. “Alright, Captain. Let’s head out immediately. It is almost Penumbra’s lunch time and we need to discuss how we should safeguard the castle until we get a proper fortification”

Comments

[Cross Lament]

Pah, just strip the nobles of their titles and exile them to an island someplace. It's much simpler.

[emoshyplz]

Whoa.
(All I can squeeze out.
Down for Repairs)

[Dragonwaz]

“Well planned and prepared, I like that.” Discord snickered.
“That’s because you freak out if something is off schedule. You even planned a trip to the store using time charts once.” Twilight huffed, pawing at the ground.
“We were in a hurry.” She let out a sigh.

I think the speaker got flopped around here
or
you were trying for a subversion joke with discord and twilight pretending discord had twilight's control problem but it came off wrong

[Bakmah Genesis]

7469003
Or
Twilight dialouge + Discord reaction
Discord dialouge + Twilight reaction

[Dragonwaz]

7470681 ah, I see. That is, from what I've read, not technically a wrong way to write but it can be confusing because of an implied speaker convention.

whoever is given an action afterward is the implied speaker. Let me show you what I mean.

The wrong way:

Sarah stood up. “I love you, John.” He shrank away shyly.

This is not technically wrong, but it is very unclear, because the convention is that the speaker is who is given action after the dialogue. In this passage, it sounds like it is John who has said “I love you, John.” Here’s how you can make it clear.

The right way:

Sarah stood up. “I love you, John.” She reached out to him longingly.

As you can see, it’s very clear in this passage who is speaking and how her words are linked to her actions. That’s another rule of thumb to keep in mind: most of us talk while doing other things. Don’t stop the story so that your characters can give soliloquies; instead, give them things to do as they talk, whether it’s chopping vegetables or fidgeting nervously.

Full disclosure I suck at these in depth grammar rules but I recognized it from reading this sites writing guide and doing some digging on the internet.

Source on the Quote: http://writerlylife.com/home/2010/09/how-to-use-dialogue-correctly/

Might make more sense if Dicord's and Twilight's reactions were tacked on to their dialogue. I say might, it might not. Go with what fits best to you.

[NightSongDragoness]

Please make more, this is so good ❤️
No pressure tho

[Knight N Gale]

7470681 so is it cancelled for good? Or will you continue it at some point?

[kitten_girl86]

please more!!