Anthropophagy

by PlanetKiller

After Dinner Mints

After Dinner Mints

Five ponies sit around a table with various delicacies upon it. A white alicorn, Celestia, sits at one end while a minty unicorn, Lyra, sits at the other. Lyra’s earth pony friend, Bon-Bon, sits besides her. Celestia is flanked by a purple alicorn on her left and an indigo alicorn on her right, Twilight and Luna respectively.

“Thank you for inviting us, Lyra. I’ve never had such tasty food before” Twilight chirped.

“Oh, no problem, I enjoy cooking and wish to share my talent with others.” Lyra responds.

“You have really outdone yourself” Bonny praises her friend’s culinary expertise.

“Indeed.” Luna agrees between bites. “Will thou make a toast?”

Lyra stands and proceeds to hum a few bars.

“Human beings salivate me, tasting just the way they are.

Tell me, little pony, do you eat buffet, or ala cart?

Lyre is my instrument, but humans sear in sweet butter.

It's a meal to me, Anthropophagy!

Finger food from tiny noses, browning meat and tanning skin.

Would it be too much to ask to eat the world they're living in?

Everypony tells me that it's old and fake recipes.

It's a meal to me, Anthropophagy!

Aren't you bored of Brussels sprouts? Eating just hay with your Hoooooooves?

I don't mean to butt in or gloat. But human nature proooves-

humans don't eat well or healthy.

They just fatten up! They don't care!

All they get is indigestion- new antacids everywhere!

Babies, children, teens, and elders, they eat to cover their despair.

It's a meal to me, Anthropophagy!

Albert Einstein, Cleopatra, William Shakespeare, Elton John,

Michael Phelps, Barack Obama, who's to say that they can't be nommed?

Maybe humans like us too and eat like us at Comic-Con!

It's a meal to me, Anthropophagy!

Yeah, they don't care if others starve.

Nobody's perfect, you see!

Still, I say I'm born with the rights to eat whatever I pleeeaaase!

I don't need to horse around now.

I will eat your human leg!

I would use my magic powers hunting them as they beg!

Grab your camera! Come on! Zoom in!

'Cause your favorite mare's eating human!

You! That is who I'll eat!

Anthropophagy! Shhhhhh...”

Everypony at the table applauds Lyra’s song. Celestia asks to be excused and gets up.

“I have business to attend to, but thank you for the meal, My Little Ponies.”

Comments

[Cracked Egg]

WH
AT

[Harmony Pie]

This was greatly disturbing

[The Bricklayer]

7183720 You're not kidding. This was... Yeah, I have no words.

[Scarheart]

What was for dessert?

[Crysis Commander]

Lyra has you over "for" dinner.

[Shocks]

gg

[Bad]

Oh my.

Well, the title made me smile.

[mycarhasaMoustache]

Nope

[WishSeeker]

Funny or just plain disturbing? I can't decide.

[Random_Reader11]

Words can not described the shock I am in right now.

[Virtual-Kaiden]

Hahaha That was nuts i Liked it

[the dobermans]

Loved it!

[PlanetKiller]

I'm glad that the people who liked it, liked it, and I'm glad it creeped some of you out. Tip for those that have read it : Starting from the second paragraph, read the first word in each paragraph. You'll know it when you see it.

[Scorppio500]

ohh.. God.

[DAMN HAMSTER]

I came over to tear this story apart, but that cover art...oh my sides.

[pinky102368]

Me before I start reading: How bad could it be?

Me in the middle of reading: OH MY GOD THAT IS JUST...greatly disturbing!

Me after reading:

[Icy_blue_orchid]

I am crying because I don’t want Lyra to kill me!