Anon is called by Lyra for an extreme emergency. She has to die. Right now. But not for real. Just so she doesn't have to pay taxes.
Written on a prompt by Rated Ponystar
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Flutterpriest
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Lyra wants to fake her death to avoid taxes... Did she take advice from Peter Griffin?
I was expecting this story to be really taxing, that it might leave me dead tired. But now I can see that I ass-sumed wrong. Nicely done.
I was half-hoping for Lyra to accidentally kill Anon, steal his identity, and go on living his tax-fulfilled life.
Pre-reading: I'm guessing she's fleeing from property taxes.
Well, it's her own fault for buying from this group:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ce/Hotblack_Desiato_estate_agents_-_February_16_2005.jpg
How come everything you write is just pure magical gold forged in god's very flames?
And the sequel, 'Live Free or Tax Hard'.
7026775
In which it turns out that Lyra's taxes were going to be the sole source of funds for prison maintenance, and...
That ending
Fuck texas.
I have no idea what I just read but I'm going to read it again.
Why are ponies so crazy?
that ending. shouldn't the "you're in jail now, harry" be at the beginning and set up the story?
7026805 Nah. If anything?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I have a commitment, that whenever I read a fanfic and laugh at it, I have to give it a thumbs up. There aren't enough thumbs in the world for me to give you.
Big, beefy dude of a stallion in a prison jumpsuit: "And what are you in for?"
Anon: "I got mares wet..."
And this is why you should never help ponies
7026648 i.giphy.com/u678Zj9IJvvLa.gif
perfect, just perfect
Did you bought WinRAR?
By the way:
Question to all readers of this coment: Did you?!
(Also: Why am I asking this?)
Good story!
I hope the judge says this was merely an accident, so Anon will get an lesser verdict.
7027886 Why is Bulk Biceps in prison?
This is entertaining. But I think I would have found it funnier if the story description didn't spoil what's going on.
You might consider removing: "But not for real. Just so she doesn't have to pay taxes."
Love this story XD
7026719
I get this reference. 42.
This fic was something else.
Freaking Lyra and stupid-ponyville citizens
stupid ponies!
making me laugh!
Good grief. I think I broke my brain.
Damn that reminded me that the taxes are a thing and it's almost upon me... Thankfully my job does not require me to actually pay it all at once as the government just takes it automatically on monthly basis and I did not buy a house or a car this year so I will most likely will not get any poorer for it, but damn the process sucks on itself...
7027911 calm down, Jenna Coleman
7026635 most likely
What. The. FUCK! Did I just read?
Note to myself: never help Lyra to get away from taxes.
lolwut.com/layout/lolwut.jpg
Huh, so everything worked out after all.
"Get to my house immediately. It's an emergency!"
"The phrase made you slam down your phone and sprint directly to the home of Lyra Heartstrings. Sweat leaves damp spots in your clothes as you put one foot in front of the other, trying to respond to Lyra's emergency. She's always been a great friend to you since you arrived in Equestria and her voice was panicked."
Lets get this over with. The opening is cliched as fuck, but okay. And then we learn that this is second perspective: interesting choice. For "The phrase...Heartstrings" "The phrase made you", as the first statement is a hyperbole I will have to comment upon its utility. I will state that metaphors of any kind are in bad taste when meant to be in a state of action; I am pretty sure you do this for a comedic effect. It is classic to use hyperbole, in action, and then in perspective to provide comedy. Now this comes to a matter of taste, on expanding the text to provide a sense of extended focus on the emergency of the issue. However, your text is not noticeably ridiculous in form: verb and noun choice is weak. Why not change sprint to mad dash? Or home to fanciful abode? Everything is merely okay, rather than fully taken to hyperbole, or taken with a sense of urgency; therefore it is kinda weak.
"Sweat leaves damp spots in your clothes as you put one foot in front of the other, trying to respond to Lyra's emergency."
As for the first words: "Sweat...clothes" Imagery as the opening, for the next sentence, is standard. I will state the rest of the sentence is unnecessarily elongated. Putting one foot in front of the other is a cliche, and "trying... emergency" is not needed; you can delete from the sentence with no change to the theme.
"She's always been a great friend to you since you arrived in Equestria and her voice was panicked."
Narration lyra being the MC's friend. You could imply this from the mc's actions already, so this is not needed. You could have simply has the mc mention that he has known her since the beginning, but this adds nothing to the present (you could only utilize this with constant mentions of the past to the story, or flashbacks for this to be relevant).
Weak opening. 3/10
7029888 i.giphy.com/N8MrMxZbVIfSw.gif
7028667 I think that's actually the beginning of another story, about anon in prison.
...wat
10/10
Heh heh loved it
only Lyra would do something like that
This was stupid in all the right ways...
I suddenly remember that I haven't paid my property taxes yet . . .
I should fake my own death!
XD oh my god I can't breath. The funny thing is I can imagine that happening to me if I was in equestria.
7031591
Did.... Did I just get Cinema Sinned?
... And I got a negative Score?
Last time I checked. That's good.
I was entertained just reading your comment. Thank you for all the effort you put into it.
Also, I'll fix some of those "Dings* that were technical errors.
7031591 Scene did not contain a lap dance. *Ding*
7032234 None
It sure is a good thing that this didn't Romeo and Juliet, it was looking that way for a second.
7031591 I can't tell which is more entertaining, the story, or this comment. Truly a battle for the ages.
7034311 I will find your comments, and I will up vote them! Also I'm going to follow you now! You seem like nice and rather humorous individual, and I used way to many big words in that sentence... I must be compensating for something!