After Discord learns about the fate set for Equestria, he can't help but do something drastic. After all, Fate and Chaos are like water and oil; they'll never get along. Let's see what happens when an extra character is introduced at the beginning!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Interesting way to reverse the dynamic that produced Nightmare Moon without going the tired old "Celestia has to be sealed away" route. :)
7634067 While I have no intention of going that way, I don't have anything in stone. Most of my stories I allow to grow on their own, seeing where each incident takes me. Sure I'm the one writing and sometimes I'll plan out arcs, but at no point when I started Substitute did I think I'd have anywhere near the set-up Cimmerian has at the moment. It's more fun that way, IMO. What's more fun than watching something you gave some time and effort to just start wandering around with a life of its own?
7634088
I can't say I've felt exactly that, since I have the whole Asperger's "intuitive thinking is locked into me, here, now" thing, but I definitely feel something similar when I'm helping a friend problem-solve in their story and the clever ideas start flowing... or when I'm prototyping a program and I start to stumble on clever ways to make the UI more efficient that I'd never have through of at the beginning.
EDIT: That said, when I'm helping friends with their stories, I do tend to think from top down, since roughing out the story and then progressively filling in the details helps to protect against painting yourself into the corner and makes it easier to drop in subtle hints at what will come later.
7634088
I beg you, do not make this some grimdark Celestia-goes-psycho :( This is way too good/positive for that :)
P.S. Wonder how long till Sunbutt forgets about knocking again... :3
7634088 Yes it nice to see you work so hard, but I must ask, have you seen the last episode of the 6th season? If you did, then you know what happens with the changelings when they willingly share the love with others.
7634181
10 minutes. 15 tops.
7634217
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/5/21/1159248.gif
7634246 there repaired.
I wonder when he'll finally learn magic and use his human ingenuity with it.
trying to.
bath's
no,
between the sexes,"
Pease porridge
I'd
losing
queens
Unless you're Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie and have a cartoon physics power.
seed-makers
7634067
Well the whole problem is that Celestia will not go for bananas, mm?
7634242 Until the next time it would be funny. Laughter is one of the strongest powers in Equestria after all.
....Also, who else would be incredibly amused if Cadence were born a changeling this time around?
7634181 My bets on the next evening.
7634712
I think I remember reading a story that made her Chrysalis' daughter or descendant or at least a relative. Maybe Chrysalis also was the original ruler of the Crystal Kingdom (corrupted by Sombra) or the Princess from the "Hearts and Hooves" story (corrupted by the love poison).
Actually, coming to think of it, those two scenarios wouldn't be mutually exclusive, either.
7634096
Of course, if you're the sadistic type, when the characters are stuck in a corner, they die.
End story.
Laugh.
I think I've figured out my issue; Max is superfluous at this point. Luna and Celestia have reconnected, Luna has Crystal, the sisters are managing their own affairs fine now, Max just doesn't seem to have any further purpose. He doesn't know any further tech that is immediately useful. Luna, while she would certainly be sad if he died or left, would cope fine with the support of her sister and Crystal, heck he's even irrelevant to the future of Changelings since Crystal is the queen and way stronger than him, plus other male changelings now in the castle for breeding her. At this point he seems to really just be a sex object who also provides some emotional support for Luna and Crystal, his nature is no-longer unusual or unique and he appears to have run out of the 'chaos' that Discord put him there for. Without Crystal he at least had the 'Luna's sole partner and future hope/ruler of the changelings' thing going for him but Crystals neatly removed both of those from the equation.
Tl;dr. Max needs some plot progression, character development, new conflicts, or power/rank-ups pretty soon or he's just going to be a side character to the Sisters and Crystal whose only purpose is as their emotional support, stud, and voice of common sense.
7635998
But, Max being unexceptional save for common changeling abilities is sort of the point of the story, and several previous stories with the transformed changeling with the same name. Common sense and trivia can go a long way. Plus, Crystal doesn't have hindsight that he has, nor a desire to treat all beings well, and helping Celestia too. He still serves an important role as an outsider with a differing opinion.
That said though, he can at least learn more of his own abilities. We've already seen him get stuck with Luna's voice.
7635998 I've always been a broken-leg-is-more-important-than-bruises kind of guy, so when the issue is you don't know your powers versus someone else who doesn't know how to react in public and is half-staved, I'll gladly step out of the way. Being the ever-optimistic person that I desperately try to be, I hope that other people act this way as well. Max knows he has things to work out, but finding a way to stabilize Luna was his priority. Then with the arrival of Crystal, he stepped back because she was half-starved and socially inept. Luna trusts him though, that's why she was so willing to leave Crystal with him. She even told Crystal to follow his rules, as he has experience the sub-queen doesn't have.
Max himself doesn't really know where he stands in this world either. He's helping these powerful beings through a very tough time but after this, what does he do? That's something that's looming in his future, and he's well aware of it. Like earlier though, he's going to worry about that bridge when it actually catches fire, not while he's trying to help Luna, Celestia and Crystal put out the fires on their bridges.
7635283
Except that, if you didn't plan for that from the beginning, it comes across as bad writing because readers never forget that there's a mind behind the story and hold it to a higher standard of cohesiveness than real life... I'm a recovering perfectionist.
7636614
No, no, you're doing it all wrong. You have to drink their tears and laugh at their pain.
Yes, I know, but I was acting as a crazy guy.
7637029
Screw drinking tears. If I can't meet my own standards, there's no fun in it and I might as well stick to what I know I'm good at writing, like utilities for my own consumption (eg. this one).
7637056
You do realize I mentioned that you have to be a sadistic bastard to do this first?
7637218
Whether I'm sadistic doesn't matter if I'd also have to be a masochist (which I'm not) to find fun in it.
7637281
And that the entire thing was supposed to be a joke.
7637331
I have an on-again/off-again relationship with non-narrative textual humour. I try, resulting in lines like "Screw drinking tears.", but then I either miss a cue or forget that the exchange is supposed to be joking and respond seriously.
7640052 totally called it.
i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad236/tigerseye428/ShipTease.jpg
7636145 more bro please
Will season 6 finale be incorporated in someway? Or is it outta window?
It's on my mind because I watched it just now.
7646462 I've never watched a single episode from start to finish, even if I've seen a few scenes (I specifically looked up one for another story, actually. I kinda needed it) so I really don't care what happens in the show. Especially for this story. The entire point is things are going a different route now. I don't think I'll ever even get to that Twilight-Starlight-Thorax point. It's literally over a millennia into the future.
7646864 Ok, gotcha.
This story almost feels like I'm reading a Civ game from the point of view of the advisors, watching as the civ they take up guiding blooms to full fruitition.
I'll be honest, if I had known you didn't watch the whole series before reading this story,i probably would have not even looked at it.
And i would have been wrong.
This is an amazing story. I think you should have put the human tag though, even if Max has a different body in the story.
I also like your "well fed" changelings do not have the holes. Maybe it's a little cliche, but it's still much better that what they did in the season 6 finale.. i mean, that's probably the FIRST thing i REALLY don't like in the show. I'm ok with reformed discord, alicorn twilight, reformed starlight glimmer...
but THIS is an abomination: derpicdn.net/img/2016/10/7/1266952/large.jpeg
p.s. Only thing i have not understood. Is Starswirl dead (or in another dimension, maybe?) in your story? How long ago did the 3 tribes unite?
7659352 I tend to go with the three tribes uniting before Discord, then Discord mucking things up for a long time (several centuries at least). Starswirl is dead, as was mentioned by Luna (I think it was Luna) in one of the chapters, I think it was In which the Plot becomes obvious. I've heard of the weird thing they did to changelings but honestly that's the first image of them I've seen. It's just as disgusting as I'd feared...
7660331
It's Like, taking evil orcs or goblins from any fantasy, and when they become good they change into elves or fairies.
And the design! Those colors! They hurt my eyes!
7661302 Hasbro has decided they like the idea of conversion...
7661302
Stretching actually stiffens your muscles, warm-up workouts are better to loosen up your body.
Crystal's change is quite fascinating to follow in this chapter. She turns into a real minx!
Also the twister is neat too!
cuesta un poco seguir la apariencia de los personajes, pero es suficiente
8505891
A little stretching isn't bad especially if you work out afterwards. You don't want to get a cramp.
Fish 🐟