“Bring every last one of them to our doorstep, then drag them to hell with us!” That was the plan. We know nothing of peace. Equestria knows nothing of war. With the monsters we brought to their kingdom, we must now both adapt or become extinct.
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Okay. Onto Chapter 2! Got my soda, my music, all my reading fuel ready for me. Let's begin.
First off, great opening. Personally I don't want to imagine my body being shifted like that. Stretching but without hurting. It sounds disturbing in its own right. Now based on what I have read, I kind of get the feeling Raiden was looking at alternate versions of himself. Like he was being transferred to another plane of existence and looking out the windows. And first off, I can tell right away that is the Tree of Harmony talking. Being gender neutral, I think it is appropriate giving it a male and female voice.
A swift shift in scenery. Why I think they are in Equestria. And it must be a shock to them. Seeing as they have probably known only of war most of their lives, they probably don't know how to process the concept of a peaceful world. And the Og Nag fled? Are they planning something? From the first chapter, I didn't strike them as an intelligent race, but who knows? I could have read it wrong, or maybe there is more about them revealed later.
Wow. This chapter was a lot shorter than the last. But the ending was a good indication of what was to follow. Their first pony sightings. I don't like the king though. The mention of the minister being his minion, and the fact that Raiden felt him being alive was unfortunate doesn't indicate he is a good guy.
Well seeing as this chapter was short, I probably should stop here. But I wanted to at least say some more things about the chapter. First off, the first chapter was a lot better in my opinion. The action scenes kept it going and the whole desperation within it kept it fresh and alive. This scenario is more peaceful, like a calm before the storm. Then again, that's what it could be, a calm before the storm.
Now as for the characters that stood out the most. Well really the one who stood out the most to me was Raiden. He adjusted to his situation rather well. At first he may have thought he was dreaming, but he quickly adjusted to reality. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is good under pressure. That's a good trait to have. And I really get the feeling he doesn't like the king, yet he still sticks by him. That's loyalty, but I get the idea he is loyal to his country and fellow soldiers and only follows the king out of obligation. If I am using the right word.
Well, short as it was, it was a nice peaceful chapter. I will try and get to the next one tomorrow. You know? I am starting to find this way of reviewing a lot easier than the way I used to.
See you next time!
Really good chapter intro! Very ethereal imagery which fits perfectly with the setting and story. Favorite line: "My sight travels around my body, as if being carried on a chariot." Beautiful! Even uses imagery befitting of the main character's technological know-how. Nice detail!
I read this twice when I realized where they were. :D
This is a fantastic description of what I assume is the Tree of Harmony. Absolutely gorgeous visuals. Beautiful little details chosen with perfect words to display how magnificent it really is to behold <3 Gosh dang, you've got skill!
ohhhh I'm really loving that he didn't instantly stay in Equestria in the way I expected, though a few sentences later I can see where this might be going, which i'm really liking. Nice tease! Loving the buildup. :)
Oh shit. That can't be good...
Aww, sadness. But this is war. And that magic teleportation event must've done a number on everyone. It is realistic to expect that some would not make it.
Nice tease! Loving these little moments taht keep leading up to something bigger. :)
I like this indication that there is still potential backstabbing that has to be stopped within the ranks. Especially since this is mentioned at the end of the chapter. Will be interesting to see how this bit of a sly cliffhanger plays out. :)
I am LOVING this story! You're doing a fantastic job of this sword and sorcery tale! And I absolutely ADORE the amount of buildup you're bringing to it. I'm glad to see an author who takes their time with making the transporation from one world to another something that needs to be savored. It's good to see all those key little moments where the characters try to figure things out so they can understand what's going on and react to it in more realistic ways within a more reasonable time frame than the super-quick travel-to-Equestria-and-instantly-meet-Ponies scenario.
Keep up the writing! you're doing amazing!
Looks like they're about to meet the ponies soon...and it may not be too pleasant.
Initially I thought the good general was just insane and indifferent to what happened to her, but then a thought crossed my mind. What if she wasn't surprised because she actually accounted for this instead?
Woah the imagery of the transportation…a massive tree with world like spheres on it..almost sounds like the world tree from Norse mythology.