“Bring every last one of them to our doorstep, then drag them to hell with us!” That was the plan. We know nothing of peace. Equestria knows nothing of war. With the monsters we brought to their kingdom, we must now both adapt or become extinct.
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Change to "is" :)
Put a space after the period right after the word "point" :)
Oh that starts this chapter off on a darker, more hopeless tone, but that was clever of you to do so, considering what happens later :)
Ah, good to have that covered. Good ol' Shining Armor technique from Season 2!
That makes this even more tense. Now we just have military vs military with almost no magic...
That uncertainty about whether or not they can pull off the technique is both hopeful and nerve-wracking...
They really do compliment each other in so many ways :)
Although I love the bravado here, I'm not entirely feeling if Emeris would say that (about "being badasses"). However, I've never got to hear him talk to his troops, so it's possible this is just how he speaks to them.
I love Emeris' last words there. The entire line is AMAZING and really fits him. Also, the response from the soldiers is wonderful and his humor is exactly what they need. The emotional moment shared by Emeris, Lucretia and Raiden is wonderful. I love seeing the bond between them and am constantly reminded how this is the reason they have survived and excelled past so many of the other Taraskan forces. Lucretia seems so loving too...as much as she can show based on her upbringing and her position.
AWESOME line from Emeris. I love the image of the "vicious snap of his teal cape." such a really cool visceral feel to it. One of your best and most concise descriptions.
Something about these simplistic preparations really impresses me. I think it's because almost all the Taraskan force is out there, ready to die if need be.
Very clever choke point to get onto the wall.
This is such a tense moment summarized so quickly. It works so well.
AH some hope finally! What a great moment of celebration before tactics change quickly
At first I thought "well that's clever, but how that can possibly help long-term..."
...AND THEN this! They basically made an Og Nag sandwich :P I've never heard of thsi concept before, but it is brilliant!
I was wondering whether they would help their few allies but later realized this is probably Zaran trying to react.
That's a heck of a lot learned in a little time. It was a REALLY intriguing battle beginning! Loved it!
Yeah!
This story was really difficult for some reason for me to get into early on. But now i'm bulldozing through chapters left and right, and i love it.
8994468
I've had to accept that while I have a flare for storytelling, setting a story up is still new for me. KOTD is pretty much my only main story. One day, when I'm not sick of re-reading the beginning, I'll work on it. Thank you so much for the feedback!