- Member Since 12th Nov, 2015
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
Soren Mercer
I read horse words. I write horse words. I sometimes even... read more horse words.
Soren Mercer
Joined 12th Nov, 2015 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am very interested to see where this will go honestly there's so many ways this could go. I also do like the idea of forgotten heir of a villain. This chapter was a little surprising but ponies aren't always the brightest when it comes to new comers and danger....
6911344 Why thank you! Do please show support by liking the story since I believe it will help others find it as well.
Great story, more chapters please.
there is no logical reason for time to flow at a different rate on the moon. Earth's moon has a gravity 1/6th that of earth and that isn't enough to affect the passage of time or the perception of it let alone a slippage of 133% Doctor Whooves indicates or the 5 to 1 Eclissi indicates in his perception of how long it was from Nightmare Moon leaving the moon and his arrival. In teh case of the later maybe there was some delay between leaving the moon and arriving on Equus
6956618 Correct me if I'm wrong but the time dilation changes with the size of the planet compared to the size of the moon, right? No one said that Equus and Earth were the same size, nor were the moons.
I also like that idea of a longer travel time from moon to planet like you'd suggested, so let's go with that.
6957698 most observed time dilatations have come from speed not gravity. Neither the Earth or the moon are moving fast enough for any measurable dilatation. The planets size affects its gravity primarily changing the mass of the moon would change its orbit with Equus the earth's moon is slowly pulling away from us
By orbiting a satellite with an atomic clock synched to one of the ground scientists were able to confirm Einstein's relativity theory but we are talking a difference in nanoseconds
okay cool when he said he was starting to doubt being a bad guy i was gonna leave glad he's still going through with it he's been far too buddy buddy with the ponies he supposedly hates
6966847 I'm not gonna lie, I hadn't even considered that. I'd only actually started thinking about the Seven Deadly Sins in that last chapter.
6967673 Don't forget, he has no idea that his friends are the Harmony Bearers. In coming chapters I do plan to put him in a situation which'll make him a tad more hostile towards the existing royalty.
6967891 I didn't know he didn't know that will be an interesting revelation
6968192 That's the idea. :P
6968208 I have no real idea just how evil Eclissi will be, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what he does.
6968208 I'm also more interested to see how Georgia performs in combat... She's boasted her combat prowess so much I'm thinking it'll be a tad difficult living up to those expectations.
6991764 Mmm, I wouldn't say he's lusting just yet, but he's getting there. I'm aiming for Eclissi to truly lust after Octavia to the point of it almost becoming dangerous.
And you know, for as strange as it sounds, I kinda feel like I'm experiencing Eclissi's life alongside the rest of my readers, even as I'm the one writing everything. As though I'm simply watching as Eclissi lives his own life, free of my control.
I like the story... I just don't like your OC. Its a fun story, but your OC makes it hard to take seriously. Hes funny really, but certainly not Scary, or intimidating. You Humanized his behaviors to the point that he doesn't relate to the world you cast him in, hes a square block in a round hole. It sucks really cause he started off so well!
Your story is Dark only cause of the subject matter you use, But it does not feel dark. It doesn't make you cringe or shudder, Fear for the innocent or pray for the weak. You need to bring more Emotion to your story, You have the crimes and the misdeeds, but not the hearts and minds.
Flush out the rage he feels, make us feel his mothers betrayal! Cause as it stands hes not a Vengeful immortal come to right a grave injustice.
but He is a spoiled brat, with a half baked plan and bad attitude. This whole revenge thing feels weak, he went evil so fast I barely had time to realize what had happened, If you want to have an OC go the path of the Dark Side take it slow, flush it out have his innocence shrivel and die not just spontaneously explode.
I like your Story, I like the concept, its why I "liked" it fav'd and bookmarked. Its your story do with it as you will, your not going to lose a like from me.
7014562 All good advice, thank you. I will say that I do find i have issues portraying emotion as I lack most of my own as it is. I'll try and keep this in mind when writing the next chapters but I'll be brutally honest, I wouldn't hold my breath unless I had an editor or someone who can help write emotion and all that into it for me.
7014910 I will caution you in any real hope to finding an Editor to write emotion into your story.
To write emotion for a character is to know them. To understand them and realize all that they are, if someone were to commandeer your story's emotional aspects it would most likely cause the story to take a direction more to the Editors thoughts.
If you need help, I suggest asking around and offering to Collaborate with someone, You can't just edit in emotion, You have to build it with your characters an editor can only view your story from an outside perspective, what you need is someone to confide in and help you express what you want them to feel.
7017771 Alright thanks for the advice. Most likely what I might do is rewrite and reupload this whole story once I reach a point in which I can write the emotion into it myself.
7018268 GIVE ME MORE YOU TEASE!