• Member Since 10th Apr, 2015
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Warp Contrast

Writing stories now? Apparently? Weird, huh?

Comments ( 169 )

You can do it! I actually just got out of a looong rut myself. Just let it flow and let it go, friend ^^

You better check again about what have you written, there are a few words out of context in there.

This is the successor of the old fic. I hope you can continue what the original author couldn’t do. Listed on favorites.

It’s new year and in the very moment that people saw the announce of the original author, we have come to this place and read the story itself.

Present tense make some want to puke.

The idea is decent. Expression is.... Something. Grammar is something. Present tense is appalling.

Please don’t quit this story like the others

Good so far, please keep going and not quit this story please

There is, or rather was, a man. His name, for the purposes of this story, will be unknown. It doesn't matter, it has never mattered, and it will likely continue not matter long into this story. Today, he has chosen to go to a convention. His name will be no more important there than anywhere else, surely.

let's just call him king

Oh, nice. I was hoping someone would pick this up, one of the very few scp stories I've seen on here.

Yes, actually. I'm very much worried that I won't be able to do the story justice, so any help I can get is welcome, though I can't guarantee everything will be included. I may actually rewrite even the first chapter besides. Not super happy with it.

I am sorry about that. I think I may actually sort of rewrite the first chapter. I really want to do the idea justice if only because it intrigued me so much, but I'm still sort of looking for my style, if that makes any sense.

Interesting. I look forward to the next chapter.

"If what you say is true, then let me see the real you. I know that form you wear is not yours to be taken, and I won't let myself for a fool be mistaken." She says fearfully from the other side of the door, prompting him to quickly mold himself again into the form of the Scarlet King, though, not discarding his voice.

Why would Zecora know that?
She is a shaman, yes but don't make her omnipresent or all-knowing for some reason
If she can do that then everyone else can, which takes away the whole reason, purpose of it

Especially that he didn't change with magic but he literally molded himself, piece by piece

I get that. But for the love of all that is right in the world, do not use present Continuous tense throughout. Don't. Please.

Completely understandable. I think I may have fixed it? I need an editor, to be honest.

I suppose maybe I should have made it clearer. I meant for her to sort of notice the wrongness of the form he took through a window. She saw at least the tail end of the transformation. I'll fix that.

so far so good lets see how you continue

If she saw that he transformed would explain that without making her knowing that he transformed into zebra forced

I fix. Maybe is better? Maybe not. Probably not.

I was referring to actually making another story in the future or integrating different aspects of theories to the story. If you want to make a story a bit grimmdark, I have been on the fandom for a long time and in tumblr, so I know of a few.

In the beginning...

In the first age
When shadows first lengthened

Comment posted by Kodie deleted January 1st

so far so good cant say if its better or not only time will show

The idea is intriguing. Let's see where it will lead me to.

Beginning could use some fixing up maybe, aside form that everything is good abd I would love to see more

Wonder if the glasses are there own SCP.

Going well so far. Please make more.:derpytongue2:

Ironically enough, the third chapter came out sometime while I was reading the second one

Published it just a few minutes ago, yeah. I was really nervous about it, so I kept putting it off.

Odd timeline given Vinyl, but the I suppose she always had those shades?

Ah. Time, my worst enemy. I always mess up time stuff. Give me a minute and maybe I can fix? I'm just glad I'm not a properly serialized writer, or I couldn't polish this stuff so easily.

Edit: There we go, new spotfixes. Plotholes patched, sort of.

Your doing great man. Keep up the good work.

Thank you! I really appreciate that, coming from you!

I actually was sort of asking if somehow by giving her shades she now retroactively had those glasses for years. Causality always seems to fold like a house of cards around a freaky enough entity.

Just retroactively changing the color of her eyes, I suppose. Time shananigans are not my friend.

They are rarely anyone’s friend. It is likely the most headache inducing variety of fiction I’ve come across from a logic standpoint.

Love the series so far cant wait for more

She smiled back before realizing something off about what he had said. "Magenta?" She thought to herself, confused for a moment that was as quickly gone as it had arrived. Of course her eyes were magenta. They always were, and they always will be. How silly of her to forget.

Did King just unintentionally use his hypnosis power?

"I- wha- no- what are you talking about?" He was panicking, clearly, worried that someone had caught on, though he wasn't entirely sure why the only thing he was really trying to hide was the thing he looked like. Did these ponies see what he really was the whole time? Had the disguise really meant nothing? "Who are you, even?" She brightened up instantly, not at all showing that she knew anything beyond the obvious.

Maybe don't use that Pinkie Pie cliche?

I don't think Pinkie knowing everything is important in this story

Like, everyone forces it in their story and later readers, even author himself doesn't remember Pinkie did that, that's how unimportant and overused it is

If it won't come back and isn't important or isn't Pinkie Pie focused story, better don't add it

She could have just greeted him in Pinkie way, like she was doing it in the show without her being all-knowing and knowing everything about them

It was a joke. It doesn't actually matter. I was trying to be funny, but if you hadn't noticed, I'm not good at that when I'm trying. Expect only vague hints and references to that, but beyond this one, that's pretty much the only time it'll ever be "seriously" relevant.

Comment posted by Warp Contrast deleted January 2nd

If you want to add one shot of breaking the fourth Wall, maybe do it so it's meant for readers only
Like Pinkie Pie saying how this story was reborned 3 times, something like that for example
Or Pinkie Pie saying she has Déjà vu for the third time

I guess I was just trying to hint at something like eldritch nature in Pinkie, herself, but I suppose maybe that *is* overdone, a bit. I'll modify the chapter a bit, play with a different joke.

Edit: Done-zo. Hopefully you like it just a little more?

He did something, intentionally or otherwise. :raritywink:

You may wish to break the dialogue up a little. Have some chat that flows from one character to another before changing the scene again.

In fact, the only actual back and forth conversation that doesn't have paragraphs of scene setting or motion attached are at the end of chapter 2 and it kind of makes the whole chapter look...clunky is the word that comes to mind. There isn't space to focus on the conversation because there is always something happening at the same time.

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