Across the great kingdoms of the Internet, a new power has arisen.
Climbing from the dark shores of the Chan, these men and women walk the Web and commune with their mystical benefactors—strange and colorful figures from another world, whom their followers know only as the "Six Friends Who Are One." A carefully guarded peace exists between those who venerate the Six and those who resist them, one that has lasted many years.
Now, however, war looms once again. A Knight Moderator and his squire lie murdered in a dying city-site. Blame shifts to the blameless, and a small team of followers sworn to the Generous and Honest Friends must sail across the world to prove their innocence and save their brothers. All the while, they must contend with the forces of a hostile court, an unrelenting judge, assassins, anarchists, sorcerers, and one of their own as well—the fanatical Warden of All Honesty. Beneath everything is a vast conspiracy, holding a secret that will shake not only the Brony Collective, but all of the World Within the Web.
Featured on Equestria Daily, 28 May 2016.
Reviewed by Chris, of the Royal Canterlot Library, on April 7th, 2017
Pre-read and edited by DaveKenroy and Curious Quill
Is this some kind of joke? Where are the character tags?
6873804 The only tag would be the OC tag. It's better to leave it blank.
You have done a magnificent job mate, and I look forward to reading the future chapters.
6873804 I find it equally funny and cringe worthy that the first comment on the first story submitted by an individual who has been a member of this site for over three years is this uninformative.
Also, Lord Max, about your story:
I personally think that it's a bit much to get into. It's not that I don't like it; it's just that I find it to be considerably unapproachable.
An original idea. Do you have any idea how rare these are? I can count my original ideas on my hands, and I know I'm better at generating them than average.
Beyond that, I love the concept. It just feels like it's going to grow like crazy. There's a full-blown universe just waiting to burst into being, and if this story ends without becoming something greater I am going to pick the idea up and run with it. I bet I could fund a kickstarter for making a DnD supplement...
Edit: I'll add this to the Goodfic bin once it gets more chapters and I have a better feel for it.
Ok, I really want to take this idea and run with it, but for other fandoms beyond our current habitation.
As a Stable-dweller, I salute your nod to the great Overmare Kkat, and wholeheartedly await the inclusion of the Border Wastes that connect the Collective and the Atomic Lands.
As a Devien, I eagerly await the works of art that Devien itself is made of, and to see what Coin will find there.
(Out of character, I'm assuming that Devien is meant to be DeviantArt, yes?)
6874171
You're partly right; the place named after DeviantArt is the Devien Isles, Devien is the citizen.
6873859 Thanks for the praise! I'm going to try and update this on a weekly basis, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter - hopefully you enjoy it!
6873860 Trust me, I've been turning this idea over in my mind for a while now, and I've had all the same doubts. Honestly, I really just needed to get the idea on paper and see if anyone was willing to touch it, considering that it was driving me crazy. Hopefully it goes well, but there's definitely a risk.
Tell me: do you think that it is "unapproachable" for readers, or more for someone writing the story?
6873925 Thank you so much! That kind of praise means a lot to me, seeing that I was pretty unsure about whether this idea would even be accepted by the site or not. I appreciate the confidence, and hey -if you think that it is truly a good concept, please feel free to spread the word to anyone you know that might also be interested. I'm just making a start here on FIMFiction, so any help would be appreciated.
As for a DnD campaign... well, I'll admit that I hadn't thought of it, but that could be pretty darn cool...
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6874673
Yeah, as my good friend and dedicated editor Curious Quill pointed out, the actual site's name is the "Devien Isles" in-universe, being a sort of blend between Mediterranean and Asian cultures, as you could probably tell by the appearances and names of the people from there that you have already met. It's a location that you'll be seeing and hearing more of in the future (hint hint).
Glad that someone caught the reference to Kkat, as well! She's a huge inspiration to me as far as writing goes, so it won't be the last one you see, nor will it be the only allusion to Brony culture dropped in the story... though you could probably guess that, considering the analysis of SoGreatAndPowerful in Ch. III.
6874713 Readers, most definitely, given that you are far more familiar with this world you've created than anyone else.
6874766 Ah, I see. Is there anything in particular that makes you see it as "unapproachable"? Too much exposition? Too little? Something inherent to the concept itself? I want to be able to keep advice like this in mind as I write.
6874954 I find this story to be very outside of what I would consider "normal" on this site. I mean, c'mon, you know where you are: the home of all things either shippy, fluffy, cloppy, or severely fucked-uppy. There's Rainbow Factory, Anthropology, Xenophilia, My Little Dashie, Past Sins, and then there's this.
I don't really know what makes it so different and outside of the norm, which is what I think makes it unapproachable. I guess it's how it doesn't exist within Equestria, or Earth, but instead the 'Web', a universe which you are creating as the story goes along.
Fanfictions generally don't have the same amount of reader-required-commitment as a book. In a book, the writer can do whatever they want in whatever universe they want. In MLP fanfiction, people are expecting something familiar, but different at the same time; they expect the same characters, or at the very least the same universe, that they've come to know and love. This story has neither, which doesn't make it bad, but certainly won't make it popular.
Looks interesting, have you posted this on other sites like Fanfiction/etc?
Might also be expanded into original fiction as well.
6874994 Which is frankly why it should be a book. Or a DnD expansion pack. Or both. Both is good.
6875676 I wasn't really sure if it was something that other fiction sites would be interested in, seeing that it is explicitly about ponies and Bronies - those things are usually requested to be confined to sites like this one. Fine by me, seeing that Fimfiction is miles better than any of its non-pony competitors. Somehow I get the feeling that a solitary pony floating on that alien shore would arose a degree of anger. Or perhaps I'm completely wrong - I'll admit, I don't really use many such sites other than Fimfiction.
6877331
Fanfiction and http://archiveofourown.org are both good sites, you should try it there.
This is strange, even by the usual standard of strange to be found. I like it.
O_O Whoa
I say it again, 'Whoa.!
I can see this fic getting really big and going into classic territory.
Keep up the good work~!
6877629 Glad you enjoyed it! I suppose it is a little odd... but odd by the standards of this site? I dunno, I've... seen some things around here.
shudder
6879152 If you like what you've read thus far, stay tuned - I'll be releasing the next part this weekend!
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6874994
I wouldn't say odd, more... unique. Which, now that I think about it, still kinda means odd, so... yeah. Odd.
I have no idea what point this comment was supposed to make, but eh.
The more I see, the more I want to see. I'd continue, but I can only repeat myself so many times before it gets old.
Hmm, if the main six is view as gods then what of the two sisters? Celestia is Twilight mentor so does that make her an elder god?
6897557 I imagined the Bronies relationship with Celestia, Luna, and other side characters being closer to revered figures than elder gods. Keep in mind that the reason that the Brony Collective adulates the "Six Friends" so much isn't necessarily because they are the main characters (otherwise we'd probably see separate branches for Spike and the CMC as well) but because they are Elements of Harmony - symbols of an ideal. The other characters are given a huge degree of respect as well, just not to the same level as the Six - sort of like saints in Catholicism.
That isn't to say that they don't show an enormous degree of respect to Luna and Celestia, though. In fact, the Bronies in this setting have named their sun and moon after the two princesses, and the Summer Sun Celebration and Nightmare Night are both considered major Brony holidays.
6913482 Oh, I see. I just wanted to understand their relationship because most mythologies, and in your story you make the MLP universe sound like one, have some form of Elder Gods vs Gods, like the Titans and the Olympus. I thought maybe the Two Sisters and the Main Six have somthing like that
! Also, you mentioned the Faust faction in the bronies, so does that make she a founding member of the bronies collective? Or she from the mlp universe and is the Goddess of Creation? If the answers spoil the story then you dont have to answer
So, the Painted Sea. Is that an actual sea, or a metaphorical location that gives inspiration to the inhabitants of the Devien Isles? Or perhaps both?
Also, what group(s) is Dreamweave supposed to represent? I understand it's anti Brony, but is that the collective whole of the Anti-Collectives in the Isles?
And finally, is there a specific area of the Devien Isles where the monsters created by Deviens are imprisoned and/or trained to defend the Isles in times of Inter-Fandom War? Or do they enforce Fandom Neutrality?
I apologize if I ask too many questions, but your world is boundlessly expandable.
6914637 Well, the setting is divided into two halves: the "World Within the Web" - being the Internet that the story takes place in - and the "World Beyond the Web" - meaning reality. Within the story, the two are seen as parallel to one another: to the Internet, the World Beyond is a higher plane of existence, from which ideas and creations spread and influence the World Within. Faust and the other show-makers are thought of as people who are able to bridge the gap between those two worlds - akin to prophets, they share the vision of the Six Friends with the World Within the Web, offering a chance at enlightenment. The Bronies in-universe see her as the creator-source of the fandom, the one who is most responsible for it existing to begin with and the one who first channeled the power of the Six Friends.
6914907 The Painted Sea is a real, physical location - the eastern portion of the Internet, where most of the sites dedicated to artistic achievement are located. One of those sites is the Dreamweave, but I admit that they are not based off of any particular real website - I felt that a fictionalized one would be easier to represent for the plot's sake. Nevertheless, it does represent in part several places I know of on the Internet.
The Devien Isles practice, as you state, Fandom Neutrality: all of the different groups are allowed to practice and create freely, so long as they adhere to Authority law (don't start fights, make sure any inappropriate art is confined to a red-zone, etc.). Wars are very uncommon in the Devien Isles - most people prefer to solve problems man-to-man, as it were, through dueling. If you want monsters, though, the best place to look would be the Deep Web...
So, the Warden of Honesty seems to be a Cybramantic Construct, an amalgamation of several people into one powerful aberration. It would explain his supposed "Madness." No one could maintain a conjoined existence sharing a form between multiple minds without being a little mad. And of course, it's probably not far off to assume that this form will eventually break apart, releasing the beings contained within.
Also, I get a strange feeling that Coin will be making a journey to the Deep Web before the story's out.
I apologize if I comment too much. This really gets my Fandom Drive running.
6985024 Never apologize for commenting, friend! Honestly, I'm just happy to see that there is an ongoing interest in the story - posts like your's are a big encouragement. Glad to see that there's already some speculation on the Warden - he's a peculiar one, alright.
Someone posted this over on MyLittleFanfic. They must have thought you needed the boost.
Tracking, upvoted, and recommended to others. You do good fantasy.
Don't stop writing
Ooh, new chapter~!
It's good to see there are updates.
I'mma read em now
Finally reached the current point. I had read the prologue and liked it, and I'm immensely glad to see the quality only increased with time.
You are writing an intriguing tale here, something quite original and thoroughly enjoyable. Kudos!
6995281
Thanks for the kind words, friend! Hopefully I can keep the quality going up over time - this is my first time writing anything, really, so I have a lot to learn.
6993945
I'll be dropping the next chapter tomorrow, as well. Stay tuned!
6992484
Can do.
7001273
If this is the first time you write then you already have made me envious. Anyway, from what I've seen I'm confident in the quality of your production
How have more people not read this yet? This is amazing writing.
Do you mind if I share this to my FB page?
Another nice chapter. I quite like the characters you have chosen to follow.
7006503
Go ahead - heck, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for the boost!
Actually, if you're willing, there's another way to help as well. There's a site-wide reviewing group called "Seattle's Angels" (you've no doubt seen their updates in the Fimfiction feed more than once) who spotlight lesser-known stories. Should the spirit move you, there's a thread here where you could recommend this story to be featured. No guarantee that they'd approve, but the help would be greatly obliged.
I finally reviewed your story. You can find it here. Also, have a ribbon.
s13.postimg.org/5a2dthj87/Giz_Vyc0.png
Edit: if you link to this review in your description it might help pull in the views. I did the same when one of my stories did well over at Rage Reviews. You should totally submit it there if you haven't already.
Also, I think your profile picture would make a better cover art.
7019084 Ah, I'm afraid that I'm partly to blame on the choice of the coverart, actually.
Max did ask me 'bout which I thought was better, his profile pic or the current coverart. I suggested that the Saint Applejack pic be used, so I guess he went with that.
In all fairness, I don't really see much difference in the use of either picture, myself.
7019075
Thank you, my friend! I can't tell you how much of an honor it is to be included. The Goodfic Bin is probably the best group on the site to find the best stories, and I remember hoping beyond hope when I started writing this that I might find my way into it someday. Honestly, I'm a little shocked it happened so soon - thanks to you.
I'm planning on putting up a blog post tomorrow to share some details on the setting of the story and its characters, but I think it'd be a good chance to thank some of the readers as well. Would you mind if I drop your name, and express my appreciation? And show off my shiny new badge as well?
7020328
No need to martyr yourself on my behalf, really. I was, admittedly, a little torn between choosing either the "St. Applejack" image or my profile picture as the cover art, but ultimately I think the former was the better choice. A lot of stories on this site have dramatic pictures of the Mane Six as their chosen images, and my own profile art is definitely nice (hence why I chose it), but I'd like to think that this particular one is something that grabs attention and reflects an idea that not as many people have explored. And while it might not be obvious now, I think that have the Element of Honesty as the front page of this story meshes very well with certain major themes that will soon come into play.
7024396 Not at all. The best way to get into any group like the Goodfic bin had always been to catch a reviewers attention, and you grabbed mine with your first advertisement. I just wish this thing was more popular.
I find that I quite enjoy Honesty's point of view. If they aren't with you, they're against you.
Just had a brain wave about Honesty which makes me even more fearful for him.
I knew he was kind of a zealot before, but this is marking him a a true zealot of the truth. And the problem with zealots is they have a tendency to substitute their own version of the truth in place of their true faith. Which Honesty is doing here.
Maybe he does have the excuse of the Rise Wars shadowing his judgement, but he has forgotten that the Bronies are meant to seek out friends and not make enemies everywhere they go. Sure, even the Honest Friend is all about Family and would buck someone to a bloody pulp if they so much as threatened their friends, but she does not assume anyone different is a threat. But Honesty has forgotten that and I fear his blindness will jeopardize not just him but the entire Collective as well. Hopefully Proxy or someone else can illuminate his path before he ends up like another so-called avatar of the truth.
Relevant speech between 0:54 and 1:30
And that's the end of Part 1 of this story everyone! The Citadel of the Six is now behind, while the Devien Isles and the Dreamweave are ahead. The story will be taking a brief hiatus, but will return in force before too long - stay tuned.
In between this chapter and the next one, I'll be doing some blog posts to shed more light on various aspects of this work and the world it is set in - pending requests, if you should have any. If there's anything in particular you'd like to see covered, let me know and I'll tackle it.
In the meantime, enjoy the premiere of Season 6 next week - obviously, this is an auspicious number, so I know I will!
I sincerely wish to have full volumes of each of these books you quote at the start and end of each chapter.
I was just looking at your blog posts to see if a new chapter was coming earlier today. Glad to learn a little more about Proximo; he always did seem a little too good for his own good. Glad there's some bad history with him.
Damn. That's a dedicated Honest Eye in that diary excerpt. I could never find it in myself to dedicate that wholly to a cause, or to another.
Speaking with Honesty, I am hardpressed to find a sense of Loyalty to any but myself, for I am too busy creating my own world using the gift of Magic in my mind. And while I am Generous to those that I feel deserve Kindness, none yet have made me feel that Loyalty is any thing but a Laughing matter.