Bonus Chapter: Just Like I Told You
After the Hearth's Warming fun was over and the Apples had went home, Limestone and Igneous stood alone in the living room. The fire was crackling in the background, filling the room with heat. Igneous let out a sigh.
"Limestone?"
"Yeah?"
Igneous looked at her in confusion. Silence hung over the two for a few seconds. "Why?"
Limestone raised an eyebrow. "Why what?"
Igneous looked to the ground. "Why did thou treat the Apples with such... bitterness?"
Limestone stood in silence for a minute. "What?"
"Thy heard me, Limestone. Why was thou so bitter?" He asked a second time, his eyes having a small trace of a glare. Limestone looked around before sighing.
"I-I did what I told you."
Igneous raised an eyebrow in confusion. "And what was it thou told me?"
Limestone looked around the room again, remembering her past. "Do you remember... when I got my cutie mark? When I protected you from the dogs in the crystal mines?"
Igneous nodded without hesitation. "Of course I do. That was the largest change I had ever seen in you."
Limestone nodded. "Well, I also promised to protect the rock farm, just like I protecting the mines from the dogs, for the rest of my life. I-I had to make sure they knew not to mess with the rock farm. Plus, I also partially own it. I don't want something happening to my rock farm."
Igneous sighed. "Limestone, they were not going to hurt the farm. Pinkie wouldn't have invited them over if they were the type to hurt property."
Limestone's ears folded back. "I... I'm sorry, dad. I just... well... wanted to make sure the farm was alright."
Igneous smiled at these words as he pulled her into a hug. "Limestone, don't feel obligated to have to be bitter to protect thy farm. I am proud that thou doesn't want anything happening to it, but next time, don't be so rude about it."
Limestone nodded as the two pulled apart. "Okay. I'll try."
Igneous gave her a warm smile. "There's my daughter."
Limestone smiled at him. "Dad?"
"Yes, Limestone?"
Limestone flashed a small grin. "Can I still act... assertive if someone tries to touch Holder's Boulder?"
Igneous thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes. You may."
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Concept's not bad, but Igneous's voice is pretty off.
Amazing like always
6870789
Thanks for bringing that to my attention! I have never been the best with his voice...
I'll go fix that...
6872376
Thanks!
This is a nice concept as to what made Limestone who she is. The story seemed a bit short, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. Great job!
6872426
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Though, if you feel like answering, what scenes do you feel are too short? I would like to fix it.
Headcanon accepted.
6869791
6872487
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
6872442
Maybe you can add some more dialogue to the bonus chapter to make it feel more complete. Just a suggestion.
6872831
Alright. I'll make sure to work on that! Thank you!
6872879
No problem.
Overall, I find the story to be a little quick and thrown together. Her cutie mark doesn't seem like it would relate to her defending the crystal mines from the Diamond Dogs. It makes no sense that she would get it at that moment.
Your use of old english (thy, thou, thine) is really distracting as you don't use the vast majority of them right.
But! I did like the reasoning behind Limestone getting co-ownership of the rock farm.
That is my review.
6881408
Thanks for the review. I'm happy you enjoyed it, and that you had the time to post good constructive criticism.
I absolutely love this story, and upvote and a fave....and by the way, Limestone is the best Pie sister. I even have a custom plushie of her.
7059247
Thanks!
And ooh! That's fancy! (I wish there was a Limestone emoticon on here...
)
And I don't think I have a favorite Pie. I love them all; I can't decide!
Comments spoiled the story for me, didn't read too much, but it was great! I only noticed one error, in the first paragraph.
My SkimRating: A-