• Member Since 23rd Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen April 27th




Rainbow Dash, a flyer in the war between King Sombra and The Crystal Empire, meets a mare named Pinkamena, a soon-to-be soldier who came here with her sisters, Limestone, Marble and Maud.

Rainbow is a very tough flyer and fighter. So why is she so soft towards Pinkamena?

(Cover Art was made by ArtyPaints on DeviantArt)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 26 )

Surprisingly very interesting usually I am not much interested in soldier style mlp stories but this is making an interesting turning point. As for helpful information I myself am only a amateur not much I can give you. But as a reader I was hoping for a slightly longer chapter with more character interaction added in as an opinion of course. I love the Rainbow Dash you portray for she is natural at being a coach so her training recruits is quite befitting. Pinkie flat maned usually reminds me when she is either psycho or depressed so her being cheerful *which I adore about her* while flat maned leaves me surprised but not a bad thing just something different of course. I don't know if you intend to portray much of Sombra but I was hoping for a little bit of backstory on the why King Sombra wants to rule *the world/Equestria* and his reason's for being a conqueror. I realized I just made a big speech while not giving you much information I do apologize I am certain gonna be tracking this story cause it caught my readers eye. Thank you for your time and effort in writing.


I really appreciate the feedback! And yeah, I myself would have made the chapter longer, but I sadly didn't have time,
because stuff :ajsleepy: And yes! I love Pinkie with a flat mane and being all cute and sane ( Well as sane as Pinkie Pie can get :pinkiehappy: )

Also, I like the idea you had about putting more background info into Sombra. And I well shed more light on that later in the story. :pinkiesmile:

Thank you for commenting on my fanfic! It makes me feel very happy, have a great day! :raritywink:

Man I love this already. Normally I would be pissed anypony was faster than the Dash, but let's face it. Pinkie Pir defies the laws of physics 24/7. :rainbowlaugh:
This is really cool. Keep it going.:pinkiesmile:
(You don't have to have long chapters. I don't get why everypony loves them sooo much.):ajbemused:


Thanks! I really appreciate it! :pinkiehappy:

I am a big fan of PinkieDash so this already had me happy about that. I think you have an interesting premise and I think you did a good job setting up this scene of Dash training with all the Pies. I think you should continue that. It isn't true yet but pace out Dash liking Pinkie to how long you want the story. To me this seems like a slow burn type of story though slow is relative to the length you are planning to do.

Hello, I really enjoy your story and I cannot wait for more. :pinkiesmile:
But the cover art you used for your story is mine and I'd appreciate it if you'd credit me (ArtyPaints). Thanks!


Oh cool! Of course I'll credit you! And I made so when you click on the picture it shows the source.

Thank you for the comment! :raritywink:


Thanks! And yes, this fanfic will go a bit slower and Dash will slowly become more lovestruck over time :rainbowderp:

Thanks for the comment! :pinkiehappy:

*Starts popping more popcorn*


Omg I totally forgot that this was a title of a song :rainbowlaugh:

Wow, this was good! There are a couple of errors, but there aren't really any mistakes that interfere with the story. The only thing I might suggest is lengthening Dash's thoughts a bit to further emphasize that she's the main character. Again, great fic. :pinkiesmile:

A PinkieDash shipfic?

I'm in!

I just wanted to ask...
are you ever coming back to this? What you have so far is great, and I want to see where you take it.

Why yes I am! I an, in fact, working on it right now! But freaking dumb school is keeping me behind on updates and I had writers block for the longest time :ajsleepy:

Sorry about that.. :twilightblush:

Don't be ridiculous; you have no reason to apologize! I just wanted to know if you were cancelling because I would have probably (eventually) worked on a continuation.

Moooooooooooooorrrrreeee!!! Please please please!!!

Darling, are you still intending on continuing this wonderful story??? I truly hope so! It is incredibly interesting and I think you have a great premise and foundation here!

Make More Please I Beg You I Want To Know What's Gonna Happen!

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