"I apologize for the terrible writing/grammar of my stories from the 2010's." - VioletPony, 2024
Rainbow Dash, a flyer in the war between King Sombra and The Crystal Empire, meets a mare named Pinkamena, a soon-to-be soldier who came here with her sisters, Limestone, Marble and Maud.
Rainbow is a very tough flyer and fighter. So why is she so soft towards Pinkamena?
(Cover Art was made by ArtyPaints on DeviantArt)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Surprisingly very interesting usually I am not much interested in soldier style mlp stories but this is making an interesting turning point. As for helpful information I myself am only a amateur not much I can give you. But as a reader I was hoping for a slightly longer chapter with more character interaction added in as an opinion of course. I love the Rainbow Dash you portray for she is natural at being a coach so her training recruits is quite befitting. Pinkie flat maned usually reminds me when she is either psycho or depressed so her being cheerful *which I adore about her* while flat maned leaves me surprised but not a bad thing just something different of course. I don't know if you intend to portray much of Sombra but I was hoping for a little bit of backstory on the why King Sombra wants to rule *the world/Equestria* and his reason's for being a conqueror. I realized I just made a big speech while not giving you much information I do apologize I am certain gonna be tracking this story cause it caught my readers eye. Thank you for your time and effort in writing.
7737062
I really appreciate the feedback! And yeah, I myself would have made the chapter longer, but I sadly didn't have time,
And yes! I love Pinkie with a flat mane and being all cute and sane ( Well as sane as Pinkie Pie can get 
)
because stuff
Also, I like the idea you had about putting more background info into Sombra. And I well shed more light on that later in the story.
Thank you for commenting on my fanfic! It makes me feel very happy, have a great day!
Man I love this already. Normally I would be pissed anypony was faster than the Dash, but let's face it. Pinkie Pir defies the laws of physics 24/7.
This is really cool. Keep it going.
(You don't have to have long chapters. I don't get why everypony loves them sooo much.)
YAY! More!!
7737189
Thanks! I really appreciate it!
I am a big fan of PinkieDash so this already had me happy about that. I think you have an interesting premise and I think you did a good job setting up this scene of Dash training with all the Pies. I think you should continue that. It isn't true yet but pace out Dash liking Pinkie to how long you want the story. To me this seems like a slow burn type of story though slow is relative to the length you are planning to do.
Hello, I really enjoy your story and I cannot wait for more.
But the cover art you used for your story is mine and I'd appreciate it if you'd credit me (ArtyPaints). Thanks!
7738955
Oh cool! Of course I'll credit you! And I made so when you click on the picture it shows the source.
Thank you for the comment!
7737452
Thanks! And yes, this fanfic will go a bit slower and Dash will slowly become more lovestruck over time
Thanks for the comment!
*Starts popping more popcorn*
7737242 you're welcome.
7739400
*Starts making chapter two*
7737420
Omg I totally forgot that this was a title of a song
Wow, this was good! There are a couple of errors, but there aren't really any mistakes that interfere with the story. The only thing I might suggest is lengthening Dash's thoughts a bit to further emphasize that she's the main character. Again, great fic.
7788501
Thanks for the suggestion!
7789800 It is very much a pleasure.
A PinkieDash shipfic?
I'm in!
I just wanted to ask...
are you ever coming back to this? What you have so far is great, and I want to see where you take it.
8002303
Why yes I am! I an, in fact, working on it right now! But freaking dumb school is keeping me behind on updates and I had writers block for the longest time
Sorry about that..
8007299
Don't be ridiculous; you have no reason to apologize! I just wanted to know if you were cancelling because I would have probably (eventually) worked on a continuation.
Moooooooooooooorrrrreeee!!! Please please please!!!
I love it!
Darling, are you still intending on continuing this wonderful story??? I truly hope so! It is incredibly interesting and I think you have a great premise and foundation here!
Make More Please I Beg You I Want To Know What's Gonna Happen!
Hope to see more