• Member Since 28th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Phantom Dragon


I'm just a writer, who writes whatever pops into my head. I hope you enjoy the stories you read :)

E

I wait in this cellar, for the madness outside to stop.


Warning there will be references to alcohol in this fic

Written as a writing prompt to Cutie (Re)mark.

Takes place in the Crystal Empire war timeline.

Special thanks to TheLuckyCosmos and RadicalDishonesty for editing this
The Lucky Cosmos
RadicalDishonesty

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

You need to remove some errant carriage returns in the middle of sentences, like:

They try to deny it and say they would never do that, but they were raised with principles to actually want to help out. If they were me they

would act the same as I do.

Anyway, I am enjoying the self-hating Blueblood, here. Hating himself for his uselessness, even as he allows himself to stay useless by not doing anything to fix it...

6741957 Thank you very much for the comment I'm glad you enjoyed it.

If you have time, would you mind editing it or telling me what is wrong, because I tend to miss those kind of things.

Blueblood is a self-centered pony, isn't he? No matter how he tries to dress it up.

Unfortunately, by itself, this soliloquy feels incomplete - maybe like anything else Blueblood tries by himself?

6748912

Blueblood is a self-centered pony, isn't he? No matter how he tries to dress it up.
Unfortunately, by itself, this soliloquy feels incomplete - maybe like anything else Blueblood tries by himself?

First of all, thank you for the comment, I'm sorry you feel that it is not complete. I think the interpretation of of Blueblood here that. He feels like he is useless and unprepared for war would just get in the way. He feels like there nothing he could do. And because of that he doen't even try to help and he makes up every excuse not to go.

I'll die, there's nothing I can do

In the end of the day he took the easy route here.

I think the ending line says it all for him here

Faust knows it’s the only thing that is good down here.

Notice he don't call himself good, this is defeat, this not even trying and him hating himself for doing so.

At least that what I thought when I wrote it,now if you have more insight on this please let me know. :twilightsheepish:

6749212 That's one of the main points, but I'm getting from this that Blueblood also doesn't truly care about the war:

Also here’s the thing about fallen heroes, after a while nopony cares about you... But after awhile, your loved ones move on to live their lives. And history… ha one of two things will happen to your history, either it is forgotten or it is taught to the generations to come.

Either he doesn't really grasp that it's defending all the ponies in Equestria, or he doesn't care about them. He's cynical and aloof.

Or at least he puts on that air - is his "I don't want to die" his core, and all the rest just his rationalizations? From the last line, he does have some inkling this's what would generally be called "wrong"...

6749262

Or at least he puts on that air - is his "I don't want to die" his core, and all the rest just his rationalizations? From the last line, he does have some inkling this's what would generally be called "wrong"...

This is what reader is interrupting themselves. This story is what going in his head, while he is down there. Everything else is up to the reader to decide.

I loke this little story. Really gets into the psychology of a deserter. I don't think this is out-of-character for Blueblood and it was a quite interesting read.

7738204 thanks for the comment I'm glad you liked it.:pinkiehappy:

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