• Published 28th Oct 2015
  • 6,072 Views, 150 Comments

Freeport Venture: The Hunted - Chengar Qordath



Eleven and a half year old changeling Kukri Doo is hunted by a monster stalking her in the night. Will her friend Sunset Shimmer be able to save her in time?

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The Monster Revealed

The Monster carried this one out over the open water. At first it feared that the Monster would just drop it and leave it to drown, but instead we just kept flying. This one wished it could find comfort in that fact, but it knew that the only reason the Monster was sparing it was probably do something even worse than drowning.

However, that was not what truly scared this one. It was riding on the Monster’s back and could feel feel the way its body moved as it flew. The way it felt was ... wrong. Almost as if there was something else moving around underneath the Monster’s skin. Something hiding beneath Mom’s face. Something it truly did not wish to see.

The Monster carried this one to one of the many unoccupied islands in the archipelago. There were several buildings on the island, but all of them had been abandoned and many had fallen into disrepair. It carried this one to one of the buildings, opening a trap door in the floor to reveal a pitch-black basement. It casually tossed this one down into the room, then shut the door behind it, leaving the room almost pitch black. A few motes of star and moonlight drifted in between gaps in the floorboards, just enough that this one was not completely blind.

Then it was just this one, alone in the dark with a monster. At first it left this one alone, almost for long enough that it dared to hope it might have left. Then it struck, using a different method each time. Sometimes it would just cuff or trip this one, others it would ask questions. “Do you know why you’re going to die?” “How much will your parents miss you?” “What do you want to lose less: a wing, or a leg?”

Once, the Monster opened up the door, and when this one tried to climb the stairs to escape it grabbed this one from behind, pulling it down the stairs so hard that it cracked its chin on one of the wooden steps.

But the worst torment of all came when this one heard a terrible, wet tearing sort of sound. When it overcame its fear enough to investigate, it found Mom’s skin, hollowed out and discarded like a wetsuit. Mom’s face folded in on itself, empty eye sockets staring up at this one; a small gust caused the entire mass to ripple, and it further congealed into a mass of fur and feathers and … and…

This one ran further into the dark and threw up. But the image wouldn’t go away.

After what felt like hours, the trapdoor opened up once more. This one let out a sigh of relief as light entered the basement, driving the darkness back. The light was so bright that it had to be morning. That gave this one some hope—surely the Shimmer-mare and its parents would know that it was missing by now?

A portly blue stallion stepped down into the basement, clad in an ill-fitting suit of Striker clan armor. This one could only assume that it was Cold Striker. He did not carry his armor like one who was used to the weight, and his body had the softness of a merchant to it, not the hard, lean muscles of a warrior. This one supposed that his parents must have done much like this one’s planned for it and Kunai: one child a warrior, one a trader.

The merchant cleared his throat loudly. “I got your message. You said you’d completed the job?”

The Monster spoke, its voice coming from so close behind this one that it could feel its hot, fetid breath against its carapace. “Excellent. Now we can finish our business with one another.”

“Right.” Cold strolled down into the basement, his eyes blindly trying to pierce the shadows. “So where’s Kunai? I’m gonna make her pay for what she did to my sister.”

The Monster chuckled mockingly, the sound seeming to come from the opposite side of the basement even though this one could have sworn that it had been right behind this one moments ago. “Kunai? Nonono, I have someone much better.”

Cold blinked, then frowned in confusion. “What? Who?”

A hoof suddenly slammed into this one’s side, sending it stumbling forward into the light. It tried to keep its balance, but wound up falling face-first into the ground in front of Cold Striker. The Monster’s voice was full of cruel satisfaction. “Kunai's sister, of course. It seemed ... fitting.”

Cold stared down at this one, his jaw gaping open. “Wh-what? Her—that's a kid!

“Oh yes.” Fangs flashed in the darkness as the Monster smiled. “Kunai's kid sister. Her sole sibling. She killed your sister, and now you can return the favor.”

Cold stumbled back, his jaw working soundlessly for several seconds before he finally spoke. “That's not ... I didn't want to bring a kid into this! I wanted you to go after Kunai!”

“Tell me, what was it you told me you wanted me to do? You remember, don't you?” A single talon scraped along this one’s spine. “There was quite a bit of money involved.”

Cold shivered and nodded slowly. “I told you to make Kunai pay. That she had to suffer for what she did to my sister.”

The talons closed around this one’s throat and yanked it up onto to the tips of its hooves. It had to keep itself standing up as straight as possible, or else the Monster’s grip would cut off this one’s air. “And what better way to make her pay than to hurt her as much as you were?” The talons slowly slid along this one’s throat, never quite applying enough pressure to pierce its carapace. “A sibling for a sibling. Blood for blood. Appropriate, don't you think?” This one whimpered in pain as its leg muscles strained to keep it upright, and the Monster chuckled. “This is supposed to be your vengeance against Kunai, is it not?”

Cold stared at this one for several seconds before answering uncertainly. “Yes?”

“Indeed.” The Monster dropped this one, its legs collapsing bonelessly beneath it as it hit the dirt floor. Before it could pick itself up, a hoof pressed against the back of its neck. “And revenge is all about pain. Making the party that offended you hurt as much as you do.” The hoof pressed down against this one, producing a dull, deep ache that flared all the way down its back. “And then you pay back your pain with interest.”

This one tried to be brave, but then the Monster pushed down even harder, and it hurt too much. Despite her best efforts, this one started crying again.

Cold shook his head, staring at this one in horror. “S-stop! Leave her alone! I didn't want to bring a feathering kid into this! I didn’t want any of this!”

“I’m doing exactly what you paid me to do.” The Monster yanked this one’s head back letting Cold see its tear-soaked face as it sobbed. “I'm making Kunai pay. Pay deeply for killing your sister.” The Monster chuckled, whispering into this one’s ear. “Isn't it precious, Kukri? How this stallion you never met before is willing to pay to have you tortured and killed just to make himself feel better? He must really have loved his sister.”

This one sobbed in terror, desperately looking at the Striker. “P-please! This one is sorry that its sister killed yours! This one is sorry!

The Monster laughed mockingly and petted this one’s cheek. “D'aw, don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing to be sorry about. Little fillies die in Freeport all the time because some angry stallion thinks that someone has to pay for making him so mad in the first place. It's nothing personal; you're just going to die because of something your sister did to somepony you never even knew.“

Cold’s ears went flat against his skull, his head dropping down to stare at the floor. Finally, he let out a small, broken whisper. “Just ... just let her go. Job's done.”

Fangs flashed in the darkness again as the Monster smiled. “But I was already paid to do a job. You gave me all the money up front, which is a testament to my reputation. It wouldn't do to sully that carefully built reputation by letting everyone think I couldn't fulfill a simple job.”

“I'll tell everyone you did the job exactly how I wanted!” Cold shouted, desperation turning his voice into a frightened shriek. “Just let the kid go!”

The Monster clicked its tongue disapprovingly, like a teacher scolding a poor student. “Now why would I want to do that? Did you think I was a mere mercenary and nothing more? I enjoy hunting Free Minds. The Old Mind’s cast-out bastard children. I'm quite happy finishing this job.” A single talon stroked this one’s cheek in a foul mockery of a caress. “Slowly, of course. I want to savor every moment of her terror.”

This one whined in terror, despite its efforts to prevent itself from doing so. Cold’s voice took on a broken, almost pleading quality. “I paid you! I gave you a small fortune! Practically everything I could afford!”

“And I thank you for your business.” A talon closed around this one’s hind leg and began to slowly drag it out of the light. Back into the darkness, where the Monster was strongest.

Cold’s face hardened. “You can’t do this! You work for me! I'm ordering you to let her go!”

The Monster scoffed and tugged this one further back. “You can't tell me what to do. I don't belong to your clans. And if you wish to complain about this one's services, then you are more than welcome to try and sue me in court. I'm sure the Doos will love to hear about what you did to one of their children.”

Cold froze, and his shoulders slowly slumped. “Please ... I ... I didn't—this isn't what I wanted.”

The Monster laughed, cold and mocking. “Getting cold hooves? You never wanted revenge, not really. You’re just a sad, pathetic, silly little pony so wrapped up in his own pain that he wanted to lash out at the world. And now sweet, innocent little Kukri is going to die, just because you needed to feel better about yourself. I hope it was worth it.”
.
Cold’s knees quivered and finally collapsed as he slumped down to the floor, his face utterly expressionless.

A moment later the Monster’s hot breath brushed against this one’s ear. “Now, where shall I start with you, little one?” The talons closer around this one’s neck, hoisting it into the air. “Let’s make a game of it. Ask me for something. Anything.”

This one whimpered and sobbed as it tried to force the words out of its mouth. “P-p-p-p-p-please just let this one go.”

Fangs glistened in the darkness, and the Monster’s voice was rich with almost mocking cheer. “Very poor choice of words.” It dropped this one, sending a jolt of pain up its hindquarters as it fell to the hard floor. “Go ahead, make a run for it. Let’s see how far you get.”

This one whined in pain at its latest injury, but scrambled to its hooves and tried to run as quickly as it could. The basement was too dark for this one to see, so all it could do was stumble through the dark, desperately hoping to find an exit while there was still time.

Then something caught this one’s leg, tripping it up and sending it face-first into the floor. The Monster’s mocking chuckle echoed through the basement. “Come on now, you're not going to get far if you trip and fall on your face like that.”

This one knew it should get up and try to keep running again, but it couldn’t. What was the point of even trying? There was nowhere to go, and the Monster was only letting it try to escape as some sort of sick game. Why let it have any more fun with this one than it was already?

The trapdoor flew open with a bang, the early morning light streaming through. Cold Striker stood in the doorway, catching this one’s eyes and frantically waving it towards the staircase and safety. “This way!”

This one picked itself up and bolted for freedom, darting past the Striker-stallion. The Monster’s voice trailed after it, mockingly singsonging. “Run, run, run, little Kukri Doo. The Monster is coming for you!”

This one frantically scrambled up the stairs, smacking the base of its hooves against several steps in its haste to climb out of the basement. In the dawn light it could now see more of the island it was on. Moss had begun to grow up the abandoned old buildings, but many of them showed damage that hadn’t been the product of time. It could only assume that the island had once belonged to one of the many enterprising merchants or smugglers who claimed small outlying islands as their base of operations. Many of those bases wound up abandoned and ruined once the owner ran afoul of one of the stronger forces within Freeport. What better place for a Monster to lurk?

This one galloped through the ruined buildings, desperately searching for somewhere to hide, or maybe even escape. If it could find the docks, there might still be a boat it could use. Perhaps the Striker-stallion had not flown here? If only this one’s wings were strong enough to carry it all the way off the island...

The Monster’s voice echoed mockingly through the ruins. “Little Kukri Doo! I'm coming for you!”

This one spotted a small gap in the wall of what might have been a small warehouse and desperately dived for it. It had to lie flat on its belly and crawl, but it just barely managed to squeeze through the gap. It breathed out a sigh of relief once it was inside. This one had barely managed to fit through the hole, and the Monster was far larger than it. It would be safe in here.

The Monster’s voice thundered from outside, seeming to cut straight through the walls. “Kuuukrrri? Kuuukrrri? I can smell your fear!”

This one scrambled away from the entrance, desperately checking to make sure there was no other way for the Monster to get in. The only door into the warehouse was thoroughly blocked by a pile of collapsed boxes, and the warehouse's windows had all been boarded over. It placed itself as far away from the hole in the wall as it could, pressing itself against the wall and wrapping its forelegs around its hind legs, hugging itself for comfort as it whimpered in terror.

This one saw the light streaming through that small hole in the wall blocked by a massive shadow, and the Monster’s voice drifted in. “Now where are you hoping to run to, little one? Do you even have a plan?” It tsked at this one, as if it were this one’s mother and had caught it doing a poor job of its chores. “You’ve backed yourself into a corner. Such a silly little snack. I was hoping you’d last longer than that.”

This one didn’t know what it could possibly do now. It was trapped, and soon the Monster would find a way in and eat it. Then a sudden, desperate thought sprang into its mind as it remembered something the Shimmer-mare had said: that knowing what kind of monster she faced was the first step to beating it. “Wh-what are you?”

“Hm?” Something slammed into the wall loud enough to make this one jump and scream. “I'm the monster that's going to kill you, Kukri. And I am going to enjoy it.”

“But what kind of monster?” This one asked again. “Are you a fetch? A boggart? A shadow demon? A popobawa?”

The Monster scoffed indignantly. “What an ignorant little fool you are. Do I look like a one-eyed bat monster? Did I hop out of the mirror to snatch you away? Did I shapeshift into your worst fear? Such crude, amateurish methods. You think me something as pathetic as that? If I weren’t already going to kill you, I would do so for the insult of comparing me to such creatures.”

The Monster’s voice seemed to cut through the wall right behind this one. “Let me tell you the truth, little Kukri: there are things that hunt changelings. Monsters from the primordial times of changelings that think little changelings like you are so. Very. Delicious.” Something started scraping along the outside wall. “The Old Mind did her experiments back then, too. Dark, secret, horrible things that made monsters that ponies and changelings only talk about in whispers. Back then, she didn’t sup on anything so sophisticated as love. No, we feasted on simpler, more primal emotions. And we grew mighty, until the Old Mind cast us aside, believing her new children were closer to the perfection she sought.”

This one could scarcely believe its ears. “Y-you're a changeling?!

There was an almost deafening crack, and a leg burst out of the wall, grabbing this one across the chest and yanking it until it was pinned against the wall. “Oh yes, and so much more.” A long, wet slimy thing that could only have been the Monster’s tongue slowly stroked the side of this one’s face, working down to its neck.

This one screamed and desperately tried to free itself. After frantically struggling against the iron foreleg pinning it to the wall, it finally managed to squirm its way free, running for the gap it had first entered the building through. It dove down and frantically scrambled underneath the wall, back into the sunlight.

The Monster was already waiting there when this one emerged from underneath the wall. This one immediately tried to reverse course and scramble back into the building, and whatever safety it might have to offer. However, it was halfway through the gap when it felt talons latched onto its hind leg, squeezing until hot pain flashed through this one’s leg and it could feel the wetness of its own ichor beginning to drip out.

It screamed. Not so much because of the pain in its leg as because it knew that the Monster had it now. What was happening to its leg was only the beginning.

Yet that very wound proved to be its salvation. As this one’s ichor splashed against the Monster’s talons and coated its leg, the Monster’s grip slipped. With a final desperate tug, this one managed to pull its leg free and quickly scrambled back to safety, clutching its wounded limb and sobbing in relief.

But the safety this one had found was nothing but an illusion. An instant later the Monster smashed straight through the wall, bursting through the old decayed material as if it were nothing but tissue paper. A single talon slapped this one out of the building, with the Monster following this one’s flight. Falling rubble from the destroyed wall fell on the Monster, ripping away strips of its flesh and allowing this one to finally see what lay beneath the mask.

The Monster beneath the mask of flesh looked like a changeling—but one from an age long lost to history. Its heavier brow ridge, longer skull, and more pronounced snout reminded this one of the pictures it had seen of the massive tyrant-lizards said to dwell in the depths of the Zebrican jungles. Serrated fangs overlapped its lower jaw to form a permanent, predatory smile that traced up to its coal-black eyes— cold, soulless and lifeless, staring at this one and past it and through it and a thousand miles away all at once, such that this one could never tell if it was looking at it or not. But it was. This one knew it always was. Everything about it seemed primal, ancient, and evil. Pure evil.

Its legs locked up in terror as it beheld the Monster’s horrifying visage. It couldn’t run any more, even if it wanted to. And it didn’t. It was tired, hurt, and knew in its heart that it could never hope to escape. All running did was let the Monster have the fun of chasing this one. The only thing this one could do now to defy it was to deny it the pleasure of the hunt.

This one lay down, ready to die.

In its true form, the Monster’s voice was a primal, feral snarl. “What's the matter, can't run anymore?” A hoof lashed out, striking this one in the face. “Good, that means the pain can start. I like this part. I like it a lot. It takes a lot of work to get to this point, you know. Like aging a fine wine. You really have to work to get fear this invigorating.”

This one curled up into a ball, wrapping its forelegs over its head to protect its face from any more blows. That was the only thing it could do.

“So how do you want to die, Kukri?” The Monster’s hoof slammed into this one’s side, knocking the air from its lungs. “Shall I just beat you to death? That’s so pedestrian, but sometimes it’s fun to get back to basics. But why stop there? Have you ever wanted to know what drowning feels like?” It casually ripped away the forelegs protecting this one’s face, leaning down until our snouts were practically touching. “Or perhaps I should suck the fluids right out of you?” The Monster’s tongue slid out and slowly ran across this one’s throat, its canines lightly touching the soft sections of this one’s neck. “But really, we have all the time in the world. Why limit ourselves? Let me show you a thousand possible deaths, until we find the one that provides you with the sweetest terror. I will—”

There was a bright flash of blinding turquoise light, and this one suddenly felt as though it were on fire. And yet, the fire itself wasn’t unpleasant. It a strange way it felt cleansing, almost purifying. As if all the pain, terror, and horror that the Monster had inflicted upon this one was being burned away, leaving this one safe and happy once more.

This one blinked several times, slowly recovering its vision. The first thing it saw was a pair of amber hind legs and a red-and-yellow tail, as well as fire and ice swirling through the air in a fierce, barely controlled maelstrom. The Monster itself was now standing far away from this one, his lifeless eyes just a touch wider than they had been.

This one lifted its gaze, confirming its hopes. The Shimmer-mare had come for it.

The Monster’s lips pulled back, showing its fangs. “My, my, what do we have here? I suppose I should have realized it wouldn’t be that easy to steal the little grub out from underneath your nose, magus. But no matter. That just makes the game more inter—”

“Burn,” The Shimmer-mare snarled, hurling a wave of fire at the Monster. The blast threw it back into the warehouse, which immediately burst into flames.

“Burn!” The flames leapt up higher, shifting from yellow to blue. This one had to cover its face as a few blades of grass next to its hooves smoldered ominously.

“Burn!” This one staggered back as a fresh wave of heat shot out from the flaming structure as it collapsed into the growing firestorm.

“BURN!”

As the new bonfire reached high into the sky, this one dared to hope that the Shimmer-mare had struck down the Monster. The fire was burning so hot that this one could see the nails in what remained of the warehouse melting. Surely not even the Monster could survive that.

But then it saw something moving within the flames. A voice rang, more guttural than before but louder—loud enough to be heard over the roaring fires. “Rudimentary creature, thinking fire can burn your nightmares away.” A figure rose from the inferno, fleshy strands dripping from its body; the creature’s outer carapace was cracked all over its body, and ichor hissed in the heat. Yet for every instant it stood in the fire, its wounds closed faster than they opened, though the skull-like muzzle locked onto this one, those dull, black eyes finding their target through ash and pain and flame.

This one moaned in terror. Not even the Shimmer-mare could stop the Monster.

The Shimmer-mare looked over her shoulder at this one, and her eyes widened. “Dammit! Get out of here, Kukri!”

“Yesss,” the Monster hissed. “Run away, while your precious little magus gives up her life in a futile sacrifice to buy you a few more seconds to escape.”

This one whimpered and stayed where it was.

“I said get out of here, Kukri!”

Before this one could say or do anything else, there was another blinding flash of turquoise light. However, just as the pleasant heat of the Shimmer-mare’s spell washed over this one, something else slammed against it. A cold, wriggling sensation like dozens of frozen worms crawling over this one’s skin. When the light faded, this one was still standing exactly where it had been before.

“Now now,” the Monster’s voice sang out mockingly. “You didn’t really think I’d let you steal away my precious little snack, now did you? I want little Kukri to watch as I rip the flesh from your bones and suck the marrow from them.”

The Shimmer snarled in frustration. “Just run!”

The Monster chuckled. “She knows she's going to diiie, little Kukri Doo. And since she’s only here to save you, that means it’s all. Your. Fault.”

This one whimpered in terror as the Monster charged out of the flames, moving impossibly fast for something as badly hurt as it should be. The Shimmer-mare met its charge by conjuring up a thicket of icy spears that slammed into its body, pinning it in place. However, the Monster suddenly grew a tail out of the same material its mask of flesh had been made of, which snapped out quick as a snake’s bite, slamming into the Shimmer-mare’s chest and knocking her flying from her hooves.

The Monster pulled itself off the Shimmer-mare’s icy spears, its wounds closing almost as soon as the spears were removed. Its tail snapped around again, slamming down at the Shimmer-mare. At the last second before it struck, the Shimmer-mare surrounded herself with a globe of painfully bright fire which disintegrated the Monster’s tail the instant it struck. The Monster let out an ear-splitting roar of pain, staring at the charred stump of its tail.

A charred stump that, right before this one’s very eyes, began to grow back. “I hate magi,” the Monster snarled. “Thinking they're so clever and making my meals so much more difficult. But at least I can console myself with the fact that your death will increase little Kukri’s terror tenfold. And she’s already so very delicious.”

The Monster’s fangs gleamed in a horrible parody of a smile. “Still, you would probably make it far too difficult to kill you if we continued this little dance, so I think it’s time I changed up the game.”

The Monster turned to face this one, and a beam of sickly yellow-green energy shot out of its horn, aimed directly at this one. Time seemed to almost freeze as this one watched the blast of deadly energy slowly arc towards it, knowing that it could do nothing to protect itself.

The Shimmer-mare rushed in, placing herself between this one and the blast while conjuring up a shield of solid ice. The Monster’s attack slammed into the shield, causing cracks to spiderweb across the once-clear formation. This one watched in terror as more and more cracks spread across the plane of ice, wondering when the defenses would shatter and this one would be destroyed along with the Shimmer-mare. However, just when it seemed that the Shimmer-mare’s shield would shatter, the pestilential tide of the Monster’s magic ceased.

Despite its attack failing, the Monster didn’t seem annoyed. It threw back its head, barking out a laugh that pierced this one’s ears. “How amusing. It must be terrifying for you, Magus. To think how close your precious little Kukri came to death.”

The Shimmer-mare snarled defiantly, though this one couldn’t help but notice that she was sweating and breathing hard. “You think your stupid head games are gonna work? It’s no wonder you go after kids, because no adult would fall for such lame tricks.”

The Monster chuckled evilly. “So the prospect of poor, innocent little Kukri suffering means nothing to you? How heartless.”

“Shut up,” the Shimmer-mare snapped, lashing out with fire. The flames briefly scorched the Monster, but the damage healed so quickly that this one barely even saw the injury before it vanished. It countered with another beam, this one nearly snapping the Shimmer-mare’s shield in half before she managed to fend it off.

The Monster struck again, reducing the Shimmer-mare’s shield to nothing more than a collection of ice shards held together by the force of the Shimmer-mare’s will. “How long do you think you can last, Magus?” It chuckled throatily. “Tell me, do you want to die first, or do you want to watch the little one suffer for a while?”

The Shimmer-mare glared at it defiantly. “You spend too much time talking and not enough doing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with savoring your meal.” The Monster stalked forward, a predatory grin splitting its hideous face. “It’s just so much fun watching you squirm as you slowly realize that you're going to lose, that you're going to. Die. Terribly. And there isn't anything you can do to stop me. After I'm done with you two, I'll do this again, and again, and again. Like I have done for longer than you can comprehend.”

This one whimpered. “Sh-Shimmer-mare, just leave this one. The Monster only wants it, you can still get away.”

“No way,” she growled, shifting so that she was still standing between this one and the Monster.

The Monster threw back its head and laughed. “What pointless bravery! Really now, little magus. What made you think you could possibly defeat me all by yourself?”

The Shimmer-mare smirked. “Who said I was alone?”

A pair of knives hissed through the air, going right over this one’s head and burying themselves into the Monster’s chest. The Shimmer-mare smirked and looked back over her shoulder. “Took you long enough.”

This one looked back as well, and a relieved smile blossomed on its face. “Kunai! You’re here!”

This one’s elder sister landed next to it. “‘Course this one is. As soon as this one heard you were in trouble, it turned around and came straight back to Freeport. This one accompanied the Shimmer-mare when it learned she could track you.”

The Shimmer-mare snorted. “You could’ve followed me a little bit faster.”

Kunai rolled her eyes. “Some of us can’t teleport.”

The Monster snarled and brushed the knives out of its flesh, the wounds slowly closing once the weapons were removed. An impossibly wide smile creased its lips when its eyes fell upon this one’s sister. “Kuuunai, it's so good to see that you've joined us.” Its long, slimy tongue licked its lips. “I did promise to hurt you, after all. So you’ve come to die with your sister? Well, as they say, the family that dies together stays together.”

This one’s sister wrapped a foreleg around its belly, hauling it up onto her back. “Don’t worry, Kukri. We’re getting you out of here.”

This one sobbed in relief, clutching her neck like a life preserver. However, when its sister spread her wings and was about to take off, it realized something was wrong. “Wait! What about the Shimmer-mare?!”

“This one needs to get you out of here first,” Kunai insisted. “She can hold her own. This one will come back to help her once you’re safe.”

“But, the Shimmer-mare needs help now!” this one insisted.

The Monster chortled malevolently. “Yes, run away. That’s what you should do when you’re scared! Don't worry, I'll be coming for both of you as soon as I'm done with the magus. I’ll take my time with it. I know! We can begin the chase all over again! It will be a nice little bonding exercise between you and your sister, fleeing in terror as I hunt you down.”

This one swallowed, took a deep breath, and made its choice. “This ... this one doesn't want to leave the Shimmer-mare behind. It would rather face the Monster than abandon her.”

The Monster charged at the Shimmer-mare again. She tried to stop it, this time using a small, tight beam of fire aimed at its legs. The attack struck and charred through the Monster’s carapace, sending it tumbling to the ground.

The wounds didn’t close this time.

A moment later, this one realized what it had done. The Monster had been so powerful because this one’s fear empowered it. But now... “This one isn't afraid of you anymore!” it shouted triumphantly as the Monster fell.

The Shimmer-mare paused to give this one a proud smile. “Great job, Kukri!”

“Let’s not celebrate yet,” Kunai cautioned. “It might not be instantly healing anymore, but we still need to take it down.” She turned to the Shimmer-mare. “Got another round of firebolts in you?”

The Shimmer-mare smirked. “I’ve got something even better.” Her gaze shifted to the Monster. “Let’s see you heal this!” The fire that erupted from her horn this time was pitch black, and when it struck the Monster it clung to it instead of bursting out and spreading like normal flames. As the Monster shrieked, this one saw that the black flames weren’t actually burning it; they were making its flesh wither and fall away.

This one’s sister also joined the fight, sending a dozen of her namesake weapon through the air. Kunai was constantly in motion, flying at some points, and on the ground at others, never staying in one place long enough for the Monster to strike back.

Not that it stopped the Monster from trying. A dozen sickly yellow beams shot out at this one’s sister, several coming far too close but none of them actually connecting. It also tried to strike out at the Shimmer-mare and this one, but now that the Monster’s wounds were adding up, the Shimmer-mare seemed to have found her second wind, and the ice shields protecting us absorbed and deflected every single attack.

Then the Monster started to scream. It was a horrible, piercing sound that made this one cover its ears and scream as well, just so it wouldn’t have to hear it. It kept screaming until its throat was raw and its voice ragged, its hooves so tightly clamped over its ears that they were throbbing. Its eyes remained fixed on the ground, for it didn’t want to watch anything that could produce such an awful sound.

Finally, the noise stopped, and this one’s sister gently picked it up and set it on her back. Then she Shimmer-mare reached over and gently removed its hooves from its ears. “It’s over, Kukri. We got him.”

This one hugged them both, using one foreleg for each. Kunai gently rubbed this one’s back. “Let’s get you home, grub.”

“This one is not a grub,” it protested wearily. “It is eleven-and-a-half years old.”


Kunai carried this one to the island’s worn-down docks, where two sailboats were tied up. One of them was empty and waiting for us, but the other contained Cold Striker. The stallion was too focused on trying to free the boat to even notice our arrival.

Kunai stared at him for a long moment, then lifted this one off her back. “Excuse this one for a moment. It has unfinished business to attend to.” She passed this one over to the Shimmer-mare, then flitted up into the early morning sky, silently swinging around and homing in on Cold.

The Shimmer-mare stared at the stallion for a long moment, then glanced down at this one. “Is that Cold Striker?”

This one nodded. “He ... he did not want to hurt this one. He was angry with the Monster when he learned that it was attacking this one instead of Kunai.”

The Shimmer-mare stared at him for a long time as Kunai closed in. “He still set the Monster on you. None of this would’ve happened without him.”

This one slowly nodded its agreement. It wondered if it should tell its sister how Cold had opened the door to help it escape the Monster. It wondered if that fact would change Kunai’s mind. It wondered if it wanted Kunai to change her mind. This one wasn’t sure if Cold Striker deserved to die, but it also wasn’t sure he deserved to live.

Kunai made her move, steel glinting in the early morning light as one of her throwing knives pinned his leg to the boat. As he screamed in pain, Kunai dove down on him, grabbing his head and slamming it against the side of the boat. This one turned its head away from the sight, but it could still hear the sound of his skull bouncing off the wooden side of the boat over and over.

When the sound finally stopped, this one looked up and saw Kunai dragging the stunned Striker out of the boat, dropping the stallion on the shore. She glanced back at the two of us. “Shimmer-mare, if you could get everything ready to go and see to this one’s sister, it still needs to conclude its business with the Striker.”

The Shimmer-mare grimaced. “He’s already down. What more did you plan on doing?”

Kunai’s eyes narrowed into a cold, heartless glare. “Cold Striker nearly caused this one’s sister to be horribly murdered. His punishment has only begun.”

The Shimmer-mare’s frown deepened. “So it’s about revenge?”

“No.” Kunai shook her head. “Justice.”

The Shimmer-mare sighed. “I bet he thought the same thing when he hired someone to go after you.”

Kunai scowled. “Are you going to try to stop this one?”

The Shimmer-mare was silent for a long time before finally saying. “I’ll take Kukri home. Whatever you do ... that’s on you.”

“Good enough for this one.”

As the Shimmer-mare carried this one down to the boat, Kunai turned her back on both of us, advancing on the wounded stallion. “This one can understand your reasons for hating it. If its sister were slain, it would not forgive the killer either. It would not even have blamed you if you sought to kill it. Such a reaction is natural.” Another of her knives struck Cold’s remaining foreleg. “However, you crossed a line. Attacking this one’s sister. That, it cannot forgive.”

The dazed stallion blinked one hoof cradling his wounded head and his lips struggled to form a coherent sentence. “I ... I didn’t ... I tried to...”

Kunai closed the remaining distance, pulling out a set of chains and wrapping them around his wings so that they were pinned almost straight up, away from his barrel. Then she removed a gemstone from her saddlebag, setting it in the middle of the chains. “This fire gem’s on a random timer. It might go off in five seconds, five minutes, or five hours. You’d better hope it lasts a long time, because those chains are made of the best tempered steel money can buy. Without purpose-made tools, it would take you hours to break them.”

She pulled a dull, rusty blade from her saddlebag, then dropped it in front of Cold. This one’s sister smirked cruelly, then almost casually announced, “Did you know that if you place the cuts correctly, you can sever a pegasus’s wings in a matter of minutes? This one just thought it would mention that.”

This one’s jaw dropped, and it tried to think of what it should do. What this one’s sister was doing was—

An amber leg grabbed this one from behind, and the Shimmer-mare pulled it against her, burying its head in her chest. Her coat smelt of soot, blood, and things this one probably was happier not recognizing. “Don’t look, Kukri. You don’t need to see this.”

This one was still sobbing against the Shimmer-mare’s chest when a loud bang announced that Cold’s time had run out.

Author's Note:

As always, thanks to my pre-reading and editing team for all their hard work. Also, I would like to thank all my dedicated Patreon supporters. You guys are awesome.

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Comments ( 70 )

6578346

I like this fic, not only because the shift protagonism from Sunset to Kukri, but also for being the first time free minds are depicted as almost-normal, caring families rather than mere deceivers/spies/assassins.
Not that it will stop me from being paranoid about Puzzle. At all.

And i thought this story was going to be one of my favorites. The ending completely ruined it for me.

If the changelings that have their own minds are jsut like people....... Then why didn't Celestia shelter those that survived the conflict? It makes no sense here. Celestia might not have wanted to get involved ina war, but at the same time that wouldn't prevent her from protecting the few who survived the conflict.
Celestia does not involve herself in wars perhaps, but that does not mean she won't place herself between the wicked and the innocent. What would chrysalis do at that point? Start a war she could never win? Hell suddenly it makes no sense that hse would not have involved herself in that conflict. It was the difference between allowing changeling kind to remain just an extension of chrysalis, and having them reborn as their own breed. Sh could even figure out how it was done, and use the method on all other changelings, thus killing chrysalis indirectly. As each mind became its own, her mind would vanish.

...... Somehow after all this time, i realize a damning plot hole in winning pony. If Celestia knew changelings were involved in the conflict, rather than dismissing Cadance's behavior, it would have drawn her attention completely and entirely. Because she just had one of her ponies imitated by a changeling. Twilight concerns would have created great amount of suspicion, and she would be driven to make entirely sure.
........ After all this time, i realize that a large section of winning pony's plot is reliant on plot convenience now.

Ok, that final bit was rather dark, which is a bit of a running theme with the Freeport series.

Overall I don't think Cold deserved that (but I'm sure a lot of people will argue) and it's in no way done anything to just stop the feud between the Doo and the Strikers escalating any more, and eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Still the rest of the story was excellent poor little Kukri if this doesn't scar her mentally for life it will be a miracle. The monster being some sort of primordial changing is interesting and raises a point if changelings are immortal baring accidents if its a first generation monster or part of a whole bloodline of things. If it is that old it would seem to be odd that the old mind wouldn't keep the same property for its later creations.

Nice to see Kunai turn up at the end although I'd have thought that Knives might have turned up to save her daughter as well and to get some personal revenge, although I suppose she might not be up to snuff if she's been tied up for however long.

6585602 Clan Striker leaders: The monster he paid off betrayed him? Well, I guess no one's at fault for that but him. Yup clearly what happened.

6585571 Agreed, after all, spy is his profession.

Congrats Kunai, you have now become the monster you just helped kill. At least in the eyes of your sister...

6585661

Maybe Kunai's job has always been assassin. she killed people for a living, and maybe not in pleasant ways. Although Kukri knew that intellectually, it might have struck home now, however, in freeports culture it seems life is fairly cheep.

I wonder what would have happened if the situation had been a little reversed, if Kunai had been paid to kill Colds little sister (If he had one) would she have done it and would she have accepted him trying to take revenge on her as business?

6585711 You have to remember Kukri is just a kid. She KNOWS what her sister does for a living, intellectually, but that's 100% different from UNDERSTANDING what it is. And an assassin usually gets paid to kill someone, they don't tend to kill people in cold blood, especially people that arguably did not deserve it.

Well, Kukri's definitely going to need a lot of therapy after all of this. All that terror, not to mention that last horrifying reveal. Her hero worship of Sunset will probably increase too, so that's a very small bright spot in all of this.

I almost feel sorry for Cold, almost. He started this whole mess, but seems like he was more stupid and stubborn than evil (maybe his sister was the same), but he was the one who first contacted that monster. Though this is Freeport so there's rarely anything quite that simple, not to mention this also seemed to spin out of ninja affairs (assassinations and honor and black ops and all that) which are also usually murky. Sunset is still a bit of an ambiguous figure too. That wasn't heroic behavior at the end, but she's playing a support role this time so its not quite her affair either.

Good Halloween story, wish we could have seen Kukri make it home, but that's probably enough content as is. Also fit the tone of the story to end it there. Hope we can see Kukri under better circumstances in a future story.

6585601

The situation is a bit more complicated than may be your first impression. For one, the Inflitrators of the past are not the Free Minds you see today. The Inflitrators had not developed the more symbiotic relationship they now have with those around them. They were not as advanced as the current Free Minds and there was a real risk that one of the Infiltrators could have become yet another Chrsyalis. During Chsysalis' war with the Infiltrators, many Infiltrators took over their own swarms of drones, and did what they had to in order to fuel their war machines as a necessity of survival to fight the Old Mind.

Another point is that Celestia did not have complete information about the war as it happened. It was very much a shadow war in many ways, with neither side out in the open. The infiltrators hadn't gone out of their way to seek Celestia's assistance against Chrysalis. Even the Infiltrators that would become the Free Minds after their near destruction chose to stay in hiding for a long time in Freeport as they built up their power and population size. Celestia was far more ignorant about the situation than anything else, now if Chryssy were to attempt to exterminate the Free Mind now...

Well, that would be a spoiler. :trollestia:

6585808 hmmm. Perhaps my speculation on her helping them was off...... Sadly the fact that there is a plot hole in winning pony now, not so much.

Celestia would know about the presence of Changelings in cnaterlot after the incident in the story. And that thus ruins the plausiblity she would actualyl ignore cadance's strange behavior. Twilight would only emphasize the suspicion enough for her ot make sure herself.
She may have doubts that a changeling could have subdued cadance, but all things considered, she would not dare take the risk.

Also just realized naother issue. IF chrysalis was already this hostiel and celestia was fully aware that changeling kind were nothing but an extension of her, there is no motivation to not wipe out changeling kind back when they first appeared if she was this knowledgeable. As there is only one soul, then there is no point is preserving a species of one individual.

6585828

Celestia only knew about One changeling, one that was dead and whose employers were unknown. It should also be noted that it would be very unlikely that a Free Mind would be working with Chrsyalis. For one, Chrsyssy has a stated objective to kill all Free Minds. Second, any Free Mind caught knowingly working for Chryssy would be considered a traitor by the majority of Free Minds, and they would actively seek to kill that changeling. Especially if that aid were to result in Canterlot nearly falling to the Old Mind. By this point Celestia knows that Free Minds are individuals, and can thus act like individuals. There wasn't much reason to believe that there was a reason there were changelings everywhere. Maybe take steps about that, yes, but your not quite at the point at going full paranoid.

And your operating on the basis of 100% perfect hindsight where Cadance is concerned. Now part of that is just due to how the episodes in question were written. Chryssy was acting weird around Twilight, but it should be noted that she was taking pains to appear normal around most everypony else. Most of her more disrupt table behavior can be explained as Bridezilla behavior. Especially in WPverse where Celestia bumped up her wedding date without really consulting her. Not to mention Twilight has a history of acting very neurotic, and she was dealing with her brother getting married when she hadn't even know he was even dating. That was happening until a few days before the wedding. Instead of talking about her issues with Celestia in private as would have been reasonable, she instead went to the wedding recital and proceeded to scream Cadance was evil repeatedly.

Now as far as not wiping Chryssy out, yes, that probably would have been the smart move. Though it should be noted that in the WPverse Celestia tends to be very soft hearted and genocide is a pretty hard thing to do, and would have cost the lives of very many ponies to do the job. And that's assuming they actually succeed. Many have tried to put down Chryssy down for good but none of them succeeded. Thus far she's proven very wily where her own continued existence is concerned.

Free mind definitely seem to have a somewhat loose grasp on morality. An assassin a fixer and I'm not sure if Kukri's mother is one... A soldier. Granted it's not universal as her father is straight forward.

Primordial eldritch changeling... Skinwalker? Very nice choice than a fey beast.

Nice story. Definitely a good Halloween story. Love the ending and what the monster was. Got a feeling though that the Striker Clan and the Doo's are gonna be at war over this.

"When it overcame its fear enough to investigate, it found Mom’s skin, hollowed out and discarded like a wetsuit."

Oh God, it's Father Homunculus all over again!

So the culprit was the changeling lovechild of Father Homunculus and Vezon :rainbowlaugh:. Nah, I kid, though I saw a lot of resemblances to their characters. Man, that was some freaky stuff, especially the revelation of Monster's identity as a vengeful prototype Free Mind. I gathered it had to be one from the beginning, but in a land of magic anything is possible.

Spooky story. Very spooky story, and a great one as always :twilightsmile:

6585602
Yeah, I noticed that now that you mention it. Freeport's been Gotham grimdark in its endings compared to the majority of the main verse. Nonetheless it's an entertaining deviation; not everything is sunshine and rainbows in Equestria. Kind of the reason why I'm growing to like Sunset's stories more than Cloud's.

Kukri will become pretty traumatized from the events of the story, but I wonder who caused the most emotional damage, the Monster, or Kunai...the last reveal shed an interesting light on how similar that two are.

Well that is one way to set up a sequel for next year.

I only recently started and finished this series of yours, and I gotta say it's fantastic. That being said, this particular story was a touch too dark for me. I do give you props for managing that without excessive amounts of gore mind you (aside from that illusion of Kukri's mother of course), but... yeah. I hope the next installment of the series isn't quite as pants shittingly disturbing as this fic was, especially this final chapter.

The ending feels incomplete

"The talons closer around"
"closed"?

"Then the Monster started to scream. It was a horrible, piercing sound that made this one cover its ears and scream as well, just so it wouldn’t have to hear it. It kept screaming until its throat was raw and its voice ragged, its hooves so tightly clamped over its ears that they were throbbing. Its eyes remained fixed on the ground, for it didn’t want to watch anything that could produce such an awful sound."
I found the pronouns in the paragraph a bit confusing. I did get it figured out, but I had to stop and reread.

Well, what a cheerful story that was. :)

6586325
It was a Halloween story. so I went a bit darker than my usual for it.

That ending...

6586705
I'm sure the fact that I rewatched all the Mad Max movies a bit before writing this story has nothing to do with that.

6586534
Agreed, there really needs to be an epilogue of some kind to tie up loose ends (ie: what the Hell that monster was actually called) and generally ensure the "happily ever after" or whatever.

JBL

I hope Kunai's sadism comes back to bite her in the ass. That's all I have to say about that.

The Skinwalker Changeling's (or whatever it was) death seems alot like the death of Lust in FMA with one character cornered and helpless and saved by a pyromancer she is close to using excessive fire.

I got to say, I really enjoy the Freeport series. It definitely is my favorite part of the Winningverse, even with other great sagas such as the Rebellion and Empress Sunset 'what-if' spin-off.

6585900
I would argue it's more that it's the kind of environment Freeport is, rather than because they're Free Mind changelings.

6586803
That's running on the assumption that there is a happy ending to be had. Kukri and Kunai are not going to "make up" and pretend this whole incident had not happened. All that can happen immediately (i.e. without becoming a whole new story) is that you just swallow this as another horror of Freeport and move on.
The effect of the story will also change depending on whether or not we add an epilogue as well. Personally, I see this (and Auction Night) as setup stories, events that occur for the purpose of leading into to the next main story. Perhaps, how Kukri is coping with having personally witnessed her sister's brutality may develop into a plot point further down the line, so having an epilogue addressing that here would kill that.
Admittedly, it kinda leaves you hanging here.

As for wrapping up just what that thing was... it's a changeling. An ancient, vengeful, cast-off changeling. Giving him a name loses the "Monstrous" aspect of his... "character" let us say. For the purpose of the story, we don't really need more; the monster was not the important part. The important part, I find, is Kunai, and how the events of this story will affect their interactions.

6587667
Yeah. IMO, the Monster works better as just ... well, a Monster. Otherwise you end up with something like one of those terrible horror movie remake-prequels where they ruin the killer's mystique by showing him as little kid.

And yeah, there is no "happily ever after" for this story, just therapy bills and nightmares. It's got a Dark tag for a reason.

I have to agree, that ending was too dark for me. A pity, because I really do enjoy your lighter stories in the Freeport Venture series. And I do plan on continuing reading those; I just thought I'd give you some feedback.

Another beautiful day in Freeport eh? :fluttercry:

6587939

I understand Sunset is still working in the whole "Magus of Freeport" thing, but has she reflected in her long term goal of ascending into Alicornhood? because I doubt she has the slightest idea of how to start.

6589697
So far her plan is pretty much:

1: Become Magus of Freeport
2: Do lots of impressive stuff to make everyone acknowledge my greatness
3: ????
4: I'm an alicorn!

6590000

:facehoof::facehoof:
media.giphy.com/media/L20E2bh3ntSCc/giphy.gif

Something tells me, when in a few years Sunset hears the words "Twilight Sparkle Element of Magic, Vanquisher of Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna Savior", she is not going to take it well... at all

stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1063641/bomb-o.gif

Freepor will burn, and this time, it will be totally her fault.

JBL

6590035 "Something tells me, when in a few years Sunset hears the words "Twilight Sparkle Element of Magic, Vanquisher of Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna Savior", she is not going to take it well... at all"

A new student? A new student?! I took a deep breath and tried to calm down before I caused a scene. “No offense, but those rumors are ridiculous. Celestia has no reason to go looking for a new student.”

But that was just more proof that she wasn’t trying to replace me, because she wouldn’t do that.

Despite my best efforts, my teeth started grinding. It was completely ridiculous. There was no way, no way Celestia would ever consider replacing me.

Just the thought that Celestia is looking for a new student riled her. Sunset obviously has a few issues to deal with concerning herself.

I can sympathise with Kunai's actions by the end. You don't fuck around with someone's family, not solo like that.

What still kind of bothers me is the plothole I mentioned earlier (Kukri and her mother being allowed to fly off into the night without an escort while there is a confirmed demon/entity trying to get them) and how Codex didn't imediatelly spot the presence of another changeling inside his homestead (not to mention how the hell he got there in the first place, can changelings teleport in this universe? Or was just Kunai's remark specific to her not being able to teleport?)

All in all, a good story, but I have the feeling some events were gimped in lieu of making it a bit more dramatic.

A pretty big failure on Sunset's part, here. Changing a nation is a job entirely too big to ever pull off by yourself; you need others to help you, and for that, you need hearts and minds. What she witnessed here today was Freeport at its Freeport-iest; back-alley justice, vengeance, might making right, and nary a trace of empathy or compassion in sight.

In how she dealt with Cold Striker, she had a chance to try and set a new precedent. He was beaten, defenseless, no longer a threat, and at least somewhat open to reason. In particular, she had a chance to show Kukri and Kunai that victory could mean more than the destruction of your enemies and that justice could mean more than just looking out for your own.

She let that opportunity sail right on by.

She won her fight, kept her friend and ally alive, and ended a potential threat. But when it comes to her goal of changing Freeport, she didn't just drop the ball; she picked it up and threw it away.

Harwick #38 · Nov 2nd, 2015 · · 3 ·

I found the Mad Max end suitably dark and a reminder that this Sunset utterly fails where the Mane Six would succeed. The Monster was practically begging to convey the lesson about revenge and what it makes of you, but there was no one beyond a traumatized child who was open to learning it, which left no one to act upon it. Sunset will change because of Freeport more than Sunset will change Freeport itself. I would say that Kukri offers Sunset the best chance to be saved from herself, but we'll have to see how this incident affects the little changeling.

It was definitely an interesting monster... I agree with leaving it unnamed, but once it goes so far as to be indentified as a proto-changeling, I felt more information could have helped. I would have liked to see it displaying abilities in the fight which would have fit with the tricks it did in prior chapters... Shapeshifting alone doesn't get one into a secure room past attentive guards, allow for the whole sculpture thing, and then back out again with no hints as to how it was done. Since the mother was found bound in the bathroom, there is the possibility that the father had been replaced since the initial scare in the home, which was even hinted at with the "me" instead of "this one" slip, but since it's never followed up in the end it seems a red herring.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed more Winning pairings of background ponies on the show recently... From Cloud and Alula running the Sisterhood Social together to Cloud and Blossomforth out costuming together on Nightmare Night. Not sure if I'm just more aware of them now, or if it's become more common.

I really love the worldbuilding we get on Kukri's family. I may have missed it, but what does Codex do for a living? Also, the family seems down on Kukri hanging out with Sunset Shimmer at the beginning, they consider her a "bad influence." But what about Puzzle? He's a shady 'fixer,' he's got to be at least as bad an influence as Sunset.

6592787 I didn't really notice that before, but yeah, walking away from Kunai as she was about to do that to Cold is really a missed opportunity for Sunset, though she doesn't know it. And the fact that Kukri kept quiet on how Cold risked his life angering that monster to save Kukri's life... that's going to stay with her a long time. My hope is that having a lovable little apprentice will do more to help put Sunset on the right path than anything else.

My theory on one of the big differences between Twilight and Sunset in their early years is that Twilight had Spike to take care of, and Sunset did not. From Amending Fences we see Twilight as pretty darn cold and unfeeling in the beginning. Twilight was basically pushed into the role of being a teenage mother, responsible for molding and nurturing a young person, and I think that forced her to radically develop empathy and compassion in a way that Sunset Shimmer never had to go through, since she never had to care for anyone else.

I hope taking care of Kukri, and helping her through the many nightmares she's going to have about this monster, as well as Kunai and Cold, will help Sunset develop her own compassion.

This was a really neat Halloween story, it was unsettling in all the right ways, especially by not showing the monster too early and letting the imagination run wild.
Also shows off the really shady nature of Freeport. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone in the city is actually 'good', or merely varying shades of progressively darkey grey.
Sunset messed up here and missed a golden opportunity to try and change Freeport for the better, one small bit at a time. Cold Striker probably didn't deserve to die, but it underpins how thoroughly messed up Freeport is.
I did like the Mad Max reference at the end, was one of the best bits of the first film. Very dodgy 'justice' indeed.

With respect...
This story is not up to the standards of other Freeport stories. Not because changelings are involved (it's OK), but somehow it's less emotionally hooking.

6593223
With respect...
Sin left unpunished is not a good thing, forgiveness or not.

And yes, Freeport is a wake-up call for Sunset, even her world isn't sunshine and rainbow (and, frankly speaking, even this world Equestria isn't all sunshine and rainbow). IRL one can't eradicate darkness from the world or even his heart, one can only known his darkness and keep it in peace with others (by fear if necessary). FiM mostly leaves this behind the scene.

(I'm too far behind on stories to leave a comment per chapter, so one to sum up will have to suffice.)

Between fight on the roof in the first chapter and the bathroom incident, there were like two different missed opportunities for another entry in the dead-mother-verse. :derpytongue2:

Good job with the monster and making it a challenge for Sunset and Co., and I really appreciated that the turning point was Kukri mastering her fears.

That said, I'm a bit nonplussed by the ultimate fate of Cold. Sunset's stated goal is to change this city for the better, and the way he died is exactly what she should be taking a stand against. But instead of stopping Kunai and bringing him in to his clan to let the Strikers deal with him and his ancient monster contracting ways, she just stood by and let him be psychologically tortured and executed. It makes me think that instead of Sunset saving her new city, it will instead pull her down into the muck with all the other monsters.

In short, good story, but really unfortunate character development for Sunset.

Kinda sad that bit at the end. Personally I think she should use some magic to make Kunai suffer, assuming he died. Nightmares about her sister actually dying at the monster's hand for a whole year. Plus a few days of reliving an imagining of his last moments as her own. She killed his family and expected him to be lenient and she couldn't bring herself to be lenient even when things worked out ok. It's not like he could have really ordered that monstrosity around.

6585808 Come to think of it, I happen to be rereading The Life and Times of a Winning Pony right now, and Celestia just pegged their numbers at less than a dozen. This doesn't jibe at all with what we've seen in this series, where stumbling across them in Freeport is entirely reasonable and the EIS is very aware of this. This is technically an alternate universe to that, but...

Either this is a true divergence, a retcon on the universe, or something very bad is going to happen.

6615874
In this case, it's a bit of a retcon. Freeport wasn't really hammered out when I was writing Life and Times. That passage is actually changed in the print version of Life and Times.

6615874

If memory serves, I think it was only about a dozen Infiltrators survived their war with Chrysalis, and since then they went on to propagate and become the Free Minds, but I'm not 100% sure about the specifics of that. Either that, or it was a full retcon for the purposes of this story. Considering I'm reasonably certain Chengar didn't have any specific plans for the Venture series when he wrote that section of Winning Pony.

That ending... was pretty gruesome. Cold didn't want Kukri to get hurt, but since he didn't specify his wish exactly, he's still at fault.
At least a small consolation - it was quickly over for him.

Still, it was a great read!

Something hiding beneath Mom’s face. Something it truly did not wish to see.

Okay, when a shapeshifting emotion-eater is afraid to see something's true form, you know things are bad.

“Burn,” ... “Burn!” ... “Burn!” ... “BURN!”

I think Sunset might be angry ...

As the Monster shrieked, this one saw that the black flames weren’t actually burning it; they were making its flesh wither and fall away.

Aw, shit. I think Sunset went warlock again ... :fluttercry:

Sunset definitely missed her chance to show Kukri and Kunai a "better way" here (as has been noticed by several commenters), but she was angry, tired, and more than a little vengeful herself, so Sunset not grabbing the chance is understandable, if unfortunate.

I really hope Sunset and Kukri can help each other with their assorted issues in the future stories ... (There will be more Freeport stories, yes? Please?)

I like this series of stories with Sunset Shimmer and Freeport but you need to be careful with your endings. This story and the auction one both stop too soon. You're missing some type of denouement which you had at appropriate length with the epilogue in the original Freeport story and the short story about Glimmer.

The problem in this story is that you begin to have us lower tension after the defeat of the big bad but then attempt to ratchet it up again when dealing with Cold. You then have no time where we are reflecting as well as the characters on what happened. You have terrible thing happen and then...full stop. On a shorter story, this ending might work, but an ending needs to still remain proportional to the length.

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