The Pies and Apples gather around the hearth to trade Hearth's Warming stories. The Pies share their most cherished tale, that of how the rock farm came to be.
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If I had the ability to clap over the internet, I would be doing such now.
So in other words, this was good!
I thought this was a good start to the story. I couldn't see any spelling or grammatical errors. I like the idea that you have come up with and I can't wait to read more of this tale as it is updated.
(I'm not the best at giving critisim...)
-Frost
I like how you captured the style of King James, except for some of the dialog, but I'm sure that was intentional. I'll be following this.
6567908 I'm glad you liked it! And yes, the anachronisms in the dialogue were intentional. The historical figures portrayed in the original Hearth's Warming Episode were just the Mane 6 acting, but I decided to roll with it and make those the actual personalities of Clover/Pansy/etc.
There are in these many worlds a multitude of things of many kinds alternately blessed and profane. This I count not among the latter as, I like this.
UVF for you. Oh and I think I have a spare eyeball around. Let me know if you see it.
Despite the prose being based off the KJV, I actually like it. While this isn't Shakespearean-level hard, you've wrote it in a way that is understandable for modern audiences while keeping within the time period.
Woohoo! I've finally read this! I have to say that right from the start it was charming and engaging. You really captured the spirit of all the characters in a short time, as well as the humor of the show. I definitely chuckled when Pinkie just dropped the huge stone tablet onto the table! I also enjoyed how you wrote the story in the style of the King James Bible. As was stated, it is a nice touch, but it's also written in a way that modern audiences can understand.
For the story itself, I very much enjoyed it. You definitely had a lot of warm and charming moments, such as with Princess Platinum and her snootiness, and I love the idea of the characters going to hunt for gems. With how you portrayed the characters, you definitely made them endearing and made me want to know more. The quest was engaging right from the start, and I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out!
My only criticisms are these: while I see that you based the characters off of the Mane 6, I believe some of the historic figures were male instead of female. It would be totally fine to have them keep their personalities, but to switch the gender to make them historically accurate. (And if I'm wrong, feel free to ignore this part of my comment.)
So great start, and I can't wait to see where this goes!
6622887 Thanks so much for reading, and for your kind words!
Regarding the ponies' genders, I don't recall the show providing any information on the figures beyond what was acted out. Is there more in the comics or one of the other printed materials?
Also, does the repetitive sentence structure (i.e. almost always starting with 'and') grate? The KJV's Old Testament does it, but I found out later that that was just an artifact of translation from the original Hebrew and not actually a stylistic choice.
6622941
You are very welcome! As for the genders, I tend to turn to Wikipedia pages to find out historical info. I found that Puddinghead was a mare, Hurricane was a stallion, Smart Cookie was a mare, Princess Platinum we know was a mare, and Pansy was a mare. Clover the Clever has been referred to as both a mare and a stallion, so that one's up to you.
As for the style, I didn't notice that it was repetitive, but even with knowing now, I think it's fine. In your case, it is a stylistic thing, and it works well for you.