• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Sylvian


A college trained writer who is now back to honing his craft after graduating. Tends to write fantasy and science fiction. Also very shy! Who wants a muffin!?

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Many years after the fall of the Equus Empire, the Virtue of Hope has helped to establish the Crystal Empire. It is a city she protects with all her power, and with all her love.

One night as she sits in the company Amore, the pony who will one day succeed her as Queen of the Crystal Empire, she is asked by the young unicorn about their shared heritage. Amore, like Hope, had once lived behind the hallowed and shining walls of Roan. Hope, though saddened by the prospect of recalling the city she once ruled over, tells Amore of their homeland.

And of its fall.

----

A back-story and world building story for the Equus Empire that Witching Hour and myself are slowly building up.

Amore belongs to Hasbro.

Hope, Strength, Life, Compassion, Love are creations of myself and Witching Hour, as are the Alicorn Shiro and the Drake Jinsong, the Construct Doctor, and the City of Roan.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 36 )

OH Derp Swirl... You adorkable pony... **adds Silver Swirl/Star Hope ship emblem to her shipping flag collection**

:twistnerd:

This should be fun... :pinkiehappy:

6592316

I know, right? Too much fun to write!

It may have taken me a couple lines to recognize it, but the song is one I've heard before. Really like how you've used it here. :twilightsmile: Couple of years back I binge-listened to a bunch of the songs she wrote. My favorite right now is "On the Bridge."

And one minor edit:

Even if the last words were a formality, Hope’s fear flairs.

I think this should be "flares."

The interactions between Star Swirl and Silver Skies are very sweet and I love Amore's teasing at the end.

Another tiny edit:

Star Swirl backs up slowly, closing the door as softly as he can so as not to alert any of his fellow acolytes of Compassion that he is, as is his want, sneaking out and looking for trouble.

Pretty sure this should be "as is his wont" instead of "want."

6627110

Yup. "Cost of the Crown" by Mercedes Lackey!

I'll get to the edits in a bit, I'm still attempting to wake up.

Looks good, man. :pinkiehappy: Can't wait to see what you have next!

Oh... Oh! Now the Interlude makes a lot more sense! :rainbowlaugh:
Don't get me wrong, it was excellent before, and I was able to follow it quickly, but this set up what happened there perfectly.

6681077

Yeah, I made a mistake posting the Interlude instead of chapter 3 xD Witching Hour pointed it out to me and I was like "Oh, well crap."

I like their testing of the sonic-booms, especially that they jumped into it headfirst (literally!). How that plays out with Aurora does a nice job showing how young the two still are, even as Virtues. Well done!

Have a few small edits too:

because as hope opens her eyes,

Hope

“Celestia is rising a beautiful sunrise,”

"Raising" works better here, I think.

home to just about every flower, and many more an animal,

Maybe "many more animals"? It reads strangely to me the way it is now.

Her and Hope make small talk

I think this should be "She and Hope".

6688216

Thanks for catching those! I went and edited the stuff you found! :twilightsheepish:

...Why doesn't this story have a King Sombra tag?

6712969

Because he isn't in the story. This takes place twenty to fifteen years before Sombra rose to power. In fact, he likely isn't alive as of this latest chapter, as Radiant Hope has not been born as well.

That said, if he was in this story I'd of course have him tagged, because Sombra is my favorite villain of the series, and Witching Hour and I have quite a few theories about him that I'd love to put into writing. I may even write for him in the near future! Who knows!

6688499 I have a couple of edits for the interlude too. Sorry it took me so long to get back to reading. :facehoof:

Your father and you haven’t seen here in nearly a month, she might be dead.

Personally, I usually prefer "you and your father" as opposed to "your father and you," but that's your choice. Also: here -> her.

Blaze picking up his pace and causing the city to advance towards them all that faster.

Maybe "all the faster" or "that much faster"?

“Soldiers of Equus did not fear death, and we gladly laid down our lives during the final evacuation.”

I'll preface this by saying I don't read much that's written in present tense, so maybe it sounds odd to me for that reason alone, but I think "do not fear death" works better here. Merryweather and all may not have been frightened by the prospect of death during the war, and I'm assuming that that is still the case in the story's present.

I'm curious, what makes Sombra your favorite?

Also, a tiny pair of edits:

Besides, focusing on the lesson would help keep her mind of the only other thing that this illness could be.

of -> off

yet she knows it to be untrue as Compassion’s acolytes were still within the building, hiding from their normally welcoming and friendly mistress.

Pretty sure it should read "are still" instead of "were still."

6723501

Honestly, I don't normally write in present tense. I... started and got stuck with these stories, so.

6723605

There are a few reasons, but I think the one that really makes me like him is he isn't all that well developed. Now, that could be a very big drawback, and is actually the reason a lot of people hate him! For me, though, as a writer, I take that as a challenge, an unfinished story just begging to be filled in. Sure, nothing I ever do for him will ever be recongized by more than the few people who read my stories, and even then likely as nothing more than a cool little thing I came up with.

And that's really why I like him, because in many ways I can make him my own, as can everyone else who decides to write for him.

I have to say, this story took a few twists from what I was anticipating when you started it... Admittedly, I had no idea where it was going at the start... But I'm happy to have had such a large part in creating this historical piece... It was a huge pleasure to help write this, and see the ghosts of characters I created come to vibrant life. :twilightsmile:

6736171

Yeah, I really had no idea where this was going at first myself. But it was a fun journey!

That said, I am glad I was able to bring the characters to life, and add in a few more! It is always a pleasure to explore characters who are not present in the main stories, and bring them to life! Even if now I want to write Star Swirl more!

6736281

Well... You could always write (when life is less depressing) the scene where Star Swirl tries that spell... That causes the thing... Involving a crater... and a missing tower? Just a thought... :raritywink:

6736486

Ah, yes, the scene where he sneezes and... things sort of EXPLODE out of existence and into existence again... yes... I really should...

Man Sylvian, you know how to make very touching scenes and moments. I had to step away from that for a moment to collect myself. Had to with Midnights story too.

6739674

Thanks! I just really enjoy writing character interactions... though admittedly even I had to take a break while writing this stuff, sad sad moments all around :c

Blue Jay: *flies to Syl's chest hugging him and sobbing, leaving this chapter of the book open on the bed behind her* It's so sad.

With the title, I was actually listening to the Rains of Castamere the entire time I spent reading this chapter. Even though it felt like a short story, the amount of passion you had for each of the characters made it feel like we've been with them for several more chapters. Kudos to you.

Oh, and Blue Jay is still sadden by the story, but she's doing a little better.

6912352

I found this song last month, and it fits that chapter way too well.

6912446

Thank you! I really loved writing the characters! Witch and I put a lot of work into fleshing them out, I am glad it didn't go to waste!

I saw my name? x3

Oh and Thank you for making me die from laughter in Tech class. x3

*Whispers* No

Oh no :fluttercry: Why, why must it be sad. Dammit :fluttershbad:

I have no idea you write such feelzies things. :fluttershbad:

Anyway, Amazing chapter as usual.

:raritycry:
Why must you make me cry so much Sylvian. I am trying to fall asleep this only made it harder.

This chapter was very beautiful, just like the rest of the story. All of which us written very well.

I KNEW IT BEFORE I EVEN FINISHED THE SECOND SENTENCE!!! :pinkiecrazy: :rainbowlaugh:

But...

*grumbles*

The biology nerd in me is not taking this very well...

But the shipper in me is literally on Cloud 9 and above...

*sighs deeply*

Dammit, Sylvian. :ajbemused: :facehoof:

I'm not crying... You're crying...

*sighs*

I hate how emotional I am sometimes. Dammit Syl. :facehoof:

But BRAVO! :yay: As you know, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and Derp Star Swirl is everything, I wanna see more of him :rainbowlaugh:.

NOW OFF TO CANTERLOT IN FLAMES!!! :pinkiecrazy: :yay: (I think... either way, I am not ready... :rainbowderp: :twilightoops:)

(I also was totally not singing Song of Durin a capella... Nope... Not at all...)

8328071
Trust me, we were not ready for the feels we produced while writing it.

And you will be off to CiF before too long, but there are still stories between here and there. But, when you do, I know you'll hate me even more.

As for that particular song... I kinda wanna get it recorded with our lyrics someday, because honestly I wanna hear the Crystal Lament version ;3

8328723
*raises hoof eagerly* I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE! I'LL DO IT!!! :rainbowlaugh:

And going off of what I've heard from the others, I can guarantee that I will most definitely love hate you and your gloriously painful writing prowess by the time I reach CiF and MoM. :trixieshiftright: :rainbowlaugh:

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