• Member Since 16th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday


I am new at fanfictions, but I really enjoy writing so here goes nothing!

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Comments ( 44 )

You know there is already a more VERY popular fic called rainbow factory right?
-not putting my name here.

Yes, I am aware of that. However, I thought mine was different enough to write it and post it. And it's not about the popularity. I do it for the enjoyment of sharing my work with the world.

Sorry to say this but this story is not very good.
The Idea has definetly potential ,but you are narrating far too fast. You need to discribe more. As it is now I feel absolutly nothing while reading the story.
It is boring.

Please rewrite this story beginning and complete it. I would truly like to read the whole story but it needs to be longer and more detaild.

Oh and Please change the title. Those who read it will get the false idea bevor reading it because of the other well known fanfiction.
If you should not change the title than ad at least a discription.

Sorry for that bad comment but you can make it a story to admire.

@ Mental Vortex,
Hmm. I thought there was a description. Odd. Anyway, I have already uploaded this to anther site called fanfiction.net, so it is already I finished. I have to upload the other chapters. Anyway, there is a similar comment there from soup2405 (not sure about the numbers, but I think they are correct) and I responded in detail to that. If you are interested check it out.

Well... Everything is fast paced!
I've read the third and final chapter of this. Almost everything is left unexplained.
Why the fuck is suddenly everypony's pet against their owners?! Opalescence I can relate to, but Winona?

If you really like gory/dark stories, I'd recommend:
Rainbow Factory. Yes, I know you've read this one.
Rocket To Insanity.
And last, but definitely not least: Cherilee's Garden. This baby is my personal favorite; rather long, but very joyful (in a dark way).

If you've already read one of them, do it again.
Try to feel the amount of detail they relay onto you. It's like they give you the colors and you paint the picture.
THAT'S what you're aiming for.

IMO: Please refer to this guide.

Yes, I did.

I'm sorry for the crappy quality of this story. My mom doesn't like me writing gory stories, so I had to tone it WAY down. Plus, this is my first fanfiction. My more recent ones are not horror and so show my true potential. Most of my stories are on fanfiction.net under the username Mitslits. I will hopefully be uploading them soon.


And I think we're done here. I'll give it another chapter, and I don't think you deserve a .7 on your rating. I'm thinking more 3 ish, being nice right now :)

I'm not good with the whole horror story thing. I either write them too gory, or not gory enough. Plus, I don't like writing them. I have other stories on fanfiction.net that are NOT horror and they are much better than this one.

Well this fic was interesting to say the least. Perhaps elaborate a more, and bear in mind discrepancy whilst writing.

And that surprise ending most definitively did it's job!
a well written (if not as detailed as I would like) short story
with a nasty snap when least expected.

Thanks to both of you for commenting positively. I appreciate it!

Wow a huge turn of events I loved this even if it is fast paced

Whoa, even I could NOT see that coming.....:flutterrage: 0_o well, aleast :pinkiecrazy: pinkiemeena didn't do this... :pinkiesad2:

R.I.P. :pinkiesmile::raritywink::rainbowhuh::ajsmug::facehoof:

Wait, so there's ALREADY a fanfic called Rainbow Factory that ISN'T this one? can someone post me a link to it? please? or pinkiemeina:pinkiecrazy: will get Twilight Sparkle! (I don't want that either :fluttercry:)

Wait, so there's ALREADY a fanfic called Rainbow Factory that ISN'T this one? can someone post me a link to it? please? or pinkiemeina :pinkiecrazy: will get Twilight Sparkle! (I don't want that either :fluttercry:)

oops, sorry for the same post twice...

That's alright (the double post I mean). To find the other Rainbow Factory, you can just google the name or their might be a link in the Youtube video entitled 'Rainbow Factory.' It's also a song, which should be what you get in the Youtube video. It's a good song. Hope this helps!


Thanks...Sorry about the whole 'Pinkiemeina will kill Twilight Sparkle' Thing..:facehoof:

>>The Gir
That's okay. I didn't think anything of it. ;)


I finally made an account!! YAY!!! that was embarrassing...:facehoof:

@The Gir
Good! I will look forwards with great interest to any stories you post.:pinkiehappy:

Wait a moment.....Your the same guy from Fanfiction.net!
Didn't we just talk about not naming your fanfictions after songs that are based off another fanfiction of the same name.

Or whatever damn order they where released in.
And your telling me that because you can't think of a name you will just call it the same thing as a totally unrelated story? I can't....I don't even....just pick a name!

Pick one:
Under a Rainbow
Black Rainbow
Deus ex Rainbow
Rainbows: Resurrection
The Rainbow
Rushed: The fanfiction

The possibilities are endless.

First off, girl not guy. Second off, where on earth did you get some of those names? Black Rainbow? The rainbows are the brightest ones ever seen! What does Deus ex Rainbow even mean? And I am NOT calling it Rushed: the fanfiction. In fact, this doesn't even matter. I'm rewriting it anyways and I am NOT changing the title. Plus, what you said doesn't even make sense! Why can't I call it the same thing if the other story is "totally unrelated"? The title makes sense, this story will soon be replaced, and this stupid conversation should stop. :twilightangry2:


My Rainbow Factory story was based on WoodenToaster's song. Not the other way around. :pinkiehappy:
Second of all, titles cannot be copyrighted. Ever. Anywhere.

Why should it matter if this story has the same name? Titles are an author's final touch. It's the title that determines, for a lot of readers, if people will even give the story a chance. If "Rainbow Factory" meant so much to Mitslits she named a story after it, you insulting her for it and telling her to "just change it" is not only ignorant but downright rude.

I don't understand it. The only person who has even the slightest inkling of a right to be upset that this story shares it's name with mine is ME, and to be brutally honest, I couldn't give the tiniest damn. So why are you, and everyone else here complaining about it, getting so annoyed by this?


Thank you so much. I still can't believe you approve. :pinkiegasp:

To AuroraDawn: Its not because the name is already taken, its because many readers on the fanfiction.net page for this where mistaking it for you're version. I don't wan't people getting confused, and its better for people to take a fanfiction as it is, not its status or what influenced it. I don't really care personally what she calls it, its just for the sake of others not getting angry over it because of hype.

To Mislits: Most of those names where not meant to be taken seriously, I honestly don't care what you call it (read above for why). But here's he thing, you are now a fanfiction writer now, great, excellent! But you need to realize that as one you are going to get a lot of criticism and flak no matter what, im sure AuroraDawn gets some even though many readers liked his story. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be, and my minor complaint is nothing compared to what you can get.

I can take criticism. (That should be obvious by some of the comments on both fan and fimfiction) However, what I don't appreciate is the fact that you were still critical even after I explained that I would be redoing the story anyways.


Criticism is the foundation of all great things, and just because you say you will re work it, that does not mean the constructive criticism has to end. The more things you know you can change will help you later on.

Cupcakes, where rainbow is pinkie.
got it.
I wasn't impressed. But with some work you can do it

Well I can't say that was the best thing I read, but it was good.
I like the ending to. Didn't expect that. First I was like "she's been spying" then that happened

You who want to see something funny based "losely" on Rainbow Factory and Cupcakes, Watch Rainbow Dash Presents:rainbowlaugh: I swear you will agree, it is all handdrawn by Petirep and voiced by FimFlamFilosophy it is great.

281759 I forgot to mention not all voices are done by Greg (FimFlam) there are others

Nice. I didn't expect Rainbow Dash to die herself, or that Fluttershy was behind all of this. Nice job! :derpytongue2:

All right, so I thought this was the original Rainbow Factory. Glad it wasn't because I gotta say, I would've been very disappointed.

Well, I can't say I completely hate it. It has ideas, definite horrific traits and such, but I do not like the narrating at all. If I don't at least gasp when the mane six is slaughtered, then something went wrong.

For constructive criticism I think you should: Keep all the scenery, but add the drama. It's important that we see how dark and horrific a place we're talking about, and important that we see how scared the characters actually are. I suggest you try and watch Saw since it's sort of similar in the design, and while you watch it, note how you see the characters act and how the environment and colors are portrayed. Try and get it into your own words.


where's the origional? D:

Wait... Diamond Dogs in a cloud house? :rainbowhuh:

Your user pic is fucking terrifying!!!!!!!!!:fluttercry::fluttercry::raritycry::raritydespair:

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