Well... Everything is fast paced!
I've read the third and final chapter of this. Almost everything is left unexplained.
Why the fuck is suddenly everypony's pet against their owners?! Opalescence I can relate to, but Winona?

If you really like gory/dark stories, I'd recommend:
Cupcakes.
Rainbow Factory. Yes, I know you've read this one.
Rocket To Insanity.
And last, but definitely not least: Cherilee's Garden. This baby is my personal favorite; rather long, but very joyful (in a dark way).

If you've already read one of them, do it again.
Try to feel the amount of detail they relay onto you. It's like they give you the colors and you paint the picture.
THAT'S what you're aiming for.

IMO: Please refer to this guide.

@MeowPonyMoo
Yes, I did.

@Lucefudu
I'm sorry for the crappy quality of this story. My mom doesn't like me writing gory stories, so I had to tone it WAY down. Plus, this is my first fanfiction. My more recent ones are not horror and so show my true potential. Most of my stories are on fanfiction.net under the username Mitslits. I will hopefully be uploading them soon.

36725
Wait... what?!

@Lucefudu
I'm not good with the whole horror story thing. I either write them too gory, or not gory enough. Plus, I don't like writing them. I have other stories on fanfiction.net that are NOT horror and they are much better than this one.
Mitslits

492135
Your user pic is fucking terrifying!!!!!!!!!
D:

Aw fuck