Disappointment...
You know there is already a more VERY popular fic called rainbow factory right?
-not putting my name here.

@Disappointment....
Yes, I am aware of that. However, I thought mine was different enough to write it and post it. And it's not about the popularity. I do it for the enjoyment of sharing my work with the world.
-Mitslits

Sorry to say this but this story is not very good.
The Idea has definetly potential ,but you are narrating far too fast. You need to discribe more. As it is now I feel absolutly nothing while reading the story.
It is boring.

Please rewrite this story beginning and complete it. I would truly like to read the whole story but it needs to be longer and more detaild.

Oh and Please change the title. Those who read it will get the false idea bevor reading it because of the other well known fanfiction.
If you should not change the title than ad at least a discription.

Sorry for that bad comment but you can make it a story to admire.

@ Mental Vortex,
Hmm. I thought there was a description. Odd. Anyway, I have already uploaded this to anther site called fanfiction.net, so it is already I finished. I have to upload the other chapters. Anyway, there is a similar comment there from soup2405 (not sure about the numbers, but I think they are correct) and I responded in detail to that. If you are interested check it out.
-Mitslits

You wrote this one?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7513431/1/Rainbow_Factory

Cupcakes, where rainbow is pinkie.
got it.
I wasn't impressed. But with some work you can do it

You who want to see something funny based "losely" on Rainbow Factory and Cupcakes, Watch Rainbow Dash Presents I swear you will agree, it is all handdrawn by Petirep and voiced by FimFlamFilosophy it is great.

Nice. I didn't expect Rainbow Dash to die herself, or that Fluttershy was behind all of this. Nice job!

All right, so I thought this was the original Rainbow Factory. Glad it wasn't because I gotta say, I would've been very disappointed.

Well, I can't say I completely hate it. It has ideas, definite horrific traits and such, but I do not like the narrating at all. If I don't at least gasp when the mane six is slaughtered, then something went wrong.

For constructive criticism I think you should: Keep all the scenery, but add the drama. It's important that we see how dark and horrific a place we're talking about, and important that we see how scared the characters actually are. I suggest you try and watch Saw since it's sort of similar in the design, and while you watch it, note how you see the characters act and how the environment and colors are portrayed. Try and get it into your own words.

34512

where's the origional? D:

Wait... Diamond Dogs in a cloud house?

Reviewed your fic: Link