Getting Stuck

by Jordan179

Chapter 2: It's Always a Girl's Fault

So there was this girl ... woman.

You just got out of college, seriously and all the way, with a spanking-new two-year Associates Arts degree in Ethnic Studies, solid C's and D's all the way! And this means you're educated and smart and know how things really work, you're not some dumb immigrant right off the plane like your grandfather was, coming right out of the war that rotten Nixon -- or was it Eisenhower? -- started in Korea to get the oil -- working all his life for the ungrateful racist American ko-jaeng-i, with their blond hair and big noses, and what did he get for it? Just a suburban ticky-tacky tract house, when he could have been living really well back in Seoul -- you've been there, it's a really nice city with lots of porn. Grandpappy was pretty dumb to leave in 1950 -- why'd he do that, anyway? He wasn't smart, like you, that's why!

But coming out of college, you found the working world was tough. Employers dissed your degree, even with all your good marks, and the good jobs all went to the white guys with connections. Or sometimes black guys, or brown guys, or other East Asians, even those dumb Chinese or nasty Japanese, or even other Koreans, but the point is that you were the victim of prejudice! Plus, you were always being passed over in favor of the chicks -- all they needed to do was bend over and waggle their sexy butts at the bosses and they got hired. And the lady bosses never liked you for some reason ... what could you do, when your wallet cried out for the money it was denied?

The fact is that girls never really liked you. Sometimes you'd get lucky and score at a party, and sometimes a girl would even go on a date or two with you (once you even got three in a row!), but usually the girls you dated woldn't give you any, and the girls who did give you some didn't want to know you any more after they woke up and realized what had happened. Maybe it was because you were Korean -- though some of the girls were Korean, too, so life was just weird.

Anyway, you were 22 and you'd never had a girlfriend, not really, not one who'd admit to it and who you'd admit to being with (though there was this one retard chick in high school who'd sometimes let you kiss her and feel her up when you got her alone somewhere, and a couple of times she'd jerked you off, but you had to stop that cause she tried tagging along after you, like she thought she was your girlfriend or something, and that would have ruined your rep becase you have high standards and you guess you just never met the right girl. So you've in some ways had a pretty lonely life, though you're a cool guy who goes to some hot parties so you're not some loser nerdy virgin.

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

The interesting thing about this section, most obviously, is the revelation that Yu's Humans have an eventful and violent history, including migration, tribalism and at least one war two generations before Charlie Yu's birth, not counting the war that he has previously told us they're fighting now against the Arabs. They are divided, which has diplomatic implications should we ever make formal contact with his world.

We cannot really judge how severe is their tribalism. Yu constantly claims to have been disfavored by the dominant tribe in America, whom he calls "whites," but it is also clear that others of his tribe were more successful. A two-year college education implies that he is not a complete ignoramus; however, reading between the lines, he seems to have gotten consistently low marks. "Ethnic Studies" sounds as if he were studying the customs of various Human tribes. Perhaps we should take him as more reliable on topics of Human tribal customs than on other topics?

He noted that Human females have an unfair advantage in securing employment over Human males, which might seem to contradict earlier statements he has made that in his culture the leaders tend to be male. On the other hand, I noticed that he argued that the females' advantage consisted of being romantically-appealing to their bosses, which implies that the bosses are mostly male, unless lesbianism is more common in his species than ours.

Yu's description of Human courtship customs are as always inconsistent and accompanied by simultaneous complaints as to his inability to find romantic companionship with vague boasts about his own high status. I am not well suited to evaluate these claims, and will turn the commentary here to somepony who might understand Yu's points better. I am also rather repulsed by some of the things Yu claims to have done, though I do understand that he comes from an alien culture, and moreover, one which seems to share my low opinion of his character.

Finally, I will parenthetically add that Yu actually struck out his disgusting digression about having taken advantage of a mentally-simple filly in secondary school on the paper, then submitted that paper to me. He had absolutely no reason to do so; I provided him with a more than adequate supply of writing materials for any purpose other than writing a novel; yet it did not seem to occur to him that he could have simply rewritten the page.

It also does not seem to have occurred to him just what I, or most other Ponies, would have found reprehensible about that anecdote.

Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight asked my advice as to the implications of Charlie Yu's tale so far regarding his social status and moral character, most flatteringly considering that I might have a special insight on these matters. It is true, I pride myself on being a good judge of character; and I have some experience of judging the characters of sapient non-equine beings. I shall endeavor to fulfill the task which Twilight has assigned me with my usual flair.

Charlie Yu is neither excessively endowed with intelligence nor morality. He was clearly a poor student and also obviously a carouser and cad of a rather low sort, one who seeks out unfortunate females lacking in confidence and self-respect for the purpose of taking romantic advantage of them. His culture in general seems rather more libertine regarding such matters than Equestria, rather like the Fast Sets which proliferate in some major cities, but for the most part he seems to have been rejected by the females of his species, and I suspect with good reason on their parts.

The tragic story he told about that unfortunate young female who made the mistake of actually liking him, and hence permitting him certain liberties to which he was not entitled, well, his attempt to pretend that he had nothing to do with her makes it rather blatant that he was a cad, does it not? He also had no shame for his abandonment of her affections; he clearly thought he was behaving well by repudiating her!

Also of interest is Mr. Yu's obvious inability to engage in anything like an accurate self-appraisal. He was a poor student who imagines he was an excellent one; a starer, noser and rustler who imagined his manners smooth, and I would take everything he has said with a grain of salt.

His fashion sense is abominable. I have followed his directions in making him suits of clothes, as the customer is always right, but I will say privately that in this case he was not right. I truly do not need the publicity of having clothed him; indeed, I would not mind if this were treated as a Secret of the Realm and classified as such for a century. Or longer.

I append a detailed discussion of exactly how his fashion sense might be improved. Sadly, he cannot draw very well, nor is he adept at more verbal sorts of communication, so it is hard to understand his descriptions of the normal attire of his world.

As Always, Your Loyal Subject,
Rarity Belle

Author's Note:

Yu's knowledge of the Korean War (1950-53) is not exactly accurate. It was started in 1950 by Kim Il Sung, the dictator of North Korea, and the US President at the time was Harry S. Truman. Mao Tse-Tung, the dictator of China, then intervened when North Korea was badly losing later in 1950, keeping the war going for another two and a half years with immense suffering to the Koreans. Dwight D. Eisenhower ended the war by, basically, threatening to go nuclear, which brought the Chinese to the truce table (North Korea at that point didn't really exist as a combatant). No oil was involved. Yu's grandfather fled Seoul in 1950 because he wanted to live; fought over back and forth four times, the city was effectively leveled in the war, with most of its populace fled or dead; the Seoul of today is the product of the South Korean economic growth since the war, and is indeed one of the major cities of East Asia.

Ko-jaeng-i means something like "nosers" or "big-noses." It is an ethnic slur often used by Koreans to describe Caucasians, to whom they often feel superior. Koreans generally hate the Japanese (because of the Japanese occupation of Korea in the early 20th century through World War II); a South Korean American like Charlie Yu would also have grown up learning to hate the Chinese (specifically the Red Chinese, but they might not bother to make the distinction, and Charlie Yu in particular, who barely comprehends the historical backgrounds involved, would almost certainly fail to do so).

Comments

[scoots2]

Rarity, as usual, is spot on. He is a cad, and a stupid one to boot.

[skyace]

Ooh boy, this guy makes me almost ashamed of my own species. The sad thing is, this type of character is not only an accurate portrayal of a some of the attitudes of certain people, but those people are distressingly prolific. I guess it's just easier to be a a@#hole, while being a decent person takes some actual effort? I don't know.

[A British Gentleman]

I almost (very nearly) feel sorry for Yu at this point. He is the walking manifestation of the Dunning - Kruger effect: too stupid and incompetent to comprehend his own incompetent stupidity.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Sheesh. Charlie's thinking is hopelessly contorted, the better to pat himself on the back. I don't envy Twilight at all for trying to derive insight from that mess of self-contradictory, self-aggrandizing self-justification. And the foreshadowing... No wonder he'll see an opportunity.

[Jordan179]

6562238

This sums up my sensations as I write him. I find Charlie Yu funny -- but mostly in a Cringe Comedy sort of way.

6562251

Yep. He has no real sense of women as people, which is why no woman who gets to know him is willing to let him get anywhere with him. He probably gives off all sorts of signs regarding his bad intentions. Maybe later I'll write some of his attempts to "get dates" from the mares of Ponyville, though that will be hard to do in epistolary style, and he has no idea why he elicits unfavorable reactions from them.

He also violates A Gentleman Doesn't Tell there regarding the supposedly "retard" girl (who says Charlie's a good judge of character? He later thinks exactly the same thing about Derpy, who -- in the case of my Derpy -- is most definitely not mentally retarded, though mild autism was once mistaken for mental retardation), but then he's no gentleman. He's an exploiter, pure and simple, and he sees absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior. He'd be more hateful if he were more successful; he's mostly funny because he's inept at it.

It's especially useful for my story purposes here that Rarity isn't at all xenophobic; she loves Spike, who also isn't a Pony. Contrary to Yu's assumptions, she's reacting to his low intelligence and poor moral character, rather than his species.

6562307

The sad thing is, this type of character is not only an accurate portrayal of a some of the attitudes of certain people, but those people are distressingly prolific.

I modeled him, where he wasn't inspired by the protagonist of the original "Stuck," on someone I actually knew. In fact, he dated my favorite sister-in-law for a time. I'm quite glad they broke up: I would very much not want him as a brother-in-law.

6562448

You've got it. He also has layers of defense mechanisms to avoid acknowledging and taking seriously any direct criticism.

6562503

I'm quite happy you noticed the foreshadowing. I've foreshadowed so far exactly what he does in "Stuck" (the tale of the "retard girl" in high school) and his claims that nopony likes him because he's non-equine (his claims of being rejected for being Korean).

[Walabio]

I know quite a few apes like Yu. None of them are of Korean descent, but they are all American. I hate to say it, but 1 of them is a relative.

[Jordan179]

6563684

Well, Yu is also American. His grandfather was South Korean. I'm guessing that his grandmother and parents probably are also of ultimately-Korean origins, but who knows? I've never delineated or even so far mentioned them.

[Lethally Insane]

I think I actually lost a few I.Q points for reading about Charlie's sexcapades and his warped view of world history. I applaud you sir!

[Ardashir]

The more Charlie talks about himself the more of a swine he sounds like. I shudder to think what the ponies are learning about human society from this goof! At least they have the intelligence to realize that he's far from the best source on the subject.

a starer, noser and rustler

What exactly is a "noser"?

[Jordan179]

6567568

I'm glad you asked about all of these! They are all derogatory terms for particular forms of sexual bad manners, usually (though not always) on the part of stallions toward mares; they all relate to the etiquette demanded of a species who customarily go nude or expose their genitalia but consider it poor form to take undue advantage of this fact.

A "noser" is somepony who is so rude that a mare might fear that he would literally stick his nose under her tail to directly sniff her vagina and anus. The Human equivalent would be "masher." This, I have decided, is the derivation of the nickname of Fluttershy's seducer, "Nosey." Fluttershy, at 16, was so naive that this literally failed to occur to her until afterward. Charlie Yu literally does this in "Stuck."

A "starer" is someone who would stare and a rude and prolonged fashion at one's genitals. The Human equivalent would probably be "Peeping Tom," and that is actually almost exactly what Tom is doing in the legend of Lady Godiva, from which the term originates. Charlie Yu mentions having done this a lot in the backstory to "Stuck."

A "rustler" is someone who would disarrange one's garments to attempt to gain access to one's private parts, presumably without one's consent. This term was actually used to describe sexually-aggressive people in the history of England, I'd have to do serious research to tell you when it was first used and when it became archaic. Ponies -- even ones who wear concealing skirts -- almost never wear any undergarments with them ("Apple Orchard" did, but then "she" had a very good reason not to want to let anypony see "her" genitals), so it applies with full force in their culture. Charlie's not particularly guilty of this, yet.

Yes, Charlie Yu is a total creep, and what's worse, he's one who doesn't realize it.

[Ardashir]

6567694 A "noser" is somepony who is so rude that a mare might fear that he would literally stick his nose under her tail to directly sniff her vagina and anus. The Human equivalent would be "masher." This, I have decided, is the derivation of the nickname of Fluttershy's seducer, "Nosey." Fluttershy, at 16, was so naive that this literally failed to occur to her until afterward. Charlie Yu literally does this in "Stuck."

Yow! That sounds like a great way for a lecherous stallion to get a broken jaw courtesy of an angry mare.

And thanks for the response.

[Jordan179]

6571359

Yow! That sounds like a great way for a lecherous stallion to get a broken jaw courtesy of an angry mare.

I never said it was a smart thing to do. Most Equestrian Ponies aren't violent enough to do that as their first reaction, but the stallion is putting himself in danger of a reflexive kick, and some Equestrian Ponies are more violent than others. And more enraged by sexual advances.

I wouldn't, for instance, try this on my Trixie.

[Ardashir]

6572349 I never said it was a smart thing to do. Most Equestrian Ponies aren't violent enough to do that as their first reaction, but the stallion is putting himself in danger of a reflexive kick, and some Equestrian Ponies are more violent than others. And more enraged by sexual advances.

I wouldn't, for instance, try this on my Trixie.

I wasn't accusing you of saying that it was a smart thing to do, just wanted to be clear on that.

And I doubt it would be wise to attempt this with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Rarity, either. And Heaven help the poor fool who got drunk enough to try it out with Luna.