So there was this girl ... woman.
You just got out of college, seriously and all the way, with a spanking-new two-year Associates Arts degree in Ethnic Studies, solid C's and D's all the way! And this means you're educated and smart and know how things really work, you're not some dumb immigrant right off the plane like your grandfather was, coming right out of the war that rotten Nixon -- or was it Eisenhower? -- started in Korea to get the oil -- working all his life for the ungrateful racist American ko-jaeng-i, with their blond hair and big noses, and what did he get for it? Just a suburban ticky-tacky tract house, when he could have been living really well back in Seoul -- you've been there, it's a really nice city with lots of porn. Grandpappy was pretty dumb to leave in 1950 -- why'd he do that, anyway? He wasn't smart, like you, that's why!
But coming out of college, you found the working world was tough. Employers dissed your degree, even with all your good marks, and the good jobs all went to the white guys with connections. Or sometimes black guys, or brown guys, or other East Asians, even those dumb Chinese or nasty Japanese, or even other Koreans, but the point is that you were the victim of prejudice! Plus, you were always being passed over in favor of the chicks -- all they needed to do was bend over and waggle their sexy butts at the bosses and they got hired. And the lady bosses never liked you for some reason ... what could you do, when your wallet cried out for the money it was denied?
The fact is that girls never really liked you. Sometimes you'd get lucky and score at a party, and sometimes a girl would even go on a date or two with you (once you even got three in a row!), but usually the girls you dated woldn't give you any, and the girls who did give you some didn't want to know you any more after they woke up and realized what had happened. Maybe it was because you were Korean -- though some of the girls were Korean, too, so life was just weird.
Anyway, you were 22 and you'd never had a girlfriend, not really, not one who'd admit to it and who you'd admit to being with (though there was this one retard chick in high school who'd sometimes let you kiss her and feel her up when you got her alone somewhere, and a couple of times she'd jerked you off, but you had to stop that cause she tried tagging along after you, like she thought she was your girlfriend or something, and that would have ruined your rep becase you have high standards and you guess you just never met the right girl. So you've in some ways had a pretty lonely life, though you're a cool guy who goes to some hot parties so you're not some loser nerdy virgin.
Dear Princess Celestia,
The interesting thing about this section, most obviously, is the revelation that Yu's Humans have an eventful and violent history, including migration, tribalism and at least one war two generations before Charlie Yu's birth, not counting the war that he has previously told us they're fighting now against the Arabs. They are divided, which has diplomatic implications should we ever make formal contact with his world.
We cannot really judge how severe is their tribalism. Yu constantly claims to have been disfavored by the dominant tribe in America, whom he calls "whites," but it is also clear that others of his tribe were more successful. A two-year college education implies that he is not a complete ignoramus; however, reading between the lines, he seems to have gotten consistently low marks. "Ethnic Studies" sounds as if he were studying the customs of various Human tribes. Perhaps we should take him as more reliable on topics of Human tribal customs than on other topics?
He noted that Human females have an unfair advantage in securing employment over Human males, which might seem to contradict earlier statements he has made that in his culture the leaders tend to be male. On the other hand, I noticed that he argued that the females' advantage consisted of being romantically-appealing to their bosses, which implies that the bosses are mostly male, unless lesbianism is more common in his species than ours.
Yu's description of Human courtship customs are as always inconsistent and accompanied by simultaneous complaints as to his inability to find romantic companionship with vague boasts about his own high status. I am not well suited to evaluate these claims, and will turn the commentary here to somepony who might understand Yu's points better. I am also rather repulsed by some of the things Yu claims to have done, though I do understand that he comes from an alien culture, and moreover, one which seems to share my low opinion of his character.
Finally, I will parenthetically add that Yu actually struck out his disgusting digression about having taken advantage of a mentally-simple filly in secondary school on the paper, then submitted that paper to me. He had absolutely no reason to do so; I provided him with a more than adequate supply of writing materials for any purpose other than writing a novel; yet it did not seem to occur to him that he could have simply rewritten the page.
It also does not seem to have occurred to him just what I, or most other Ponies, would have found reprehensible about that anecdote.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
Twilight asked my advice as to the implications of Charlie Yu's tale so far regarding his social status and moral character, most flatteringly considering that I might have a special insight on these matters. It is true, I pride myself on being a good judge of character; and I have some experience of judging the characters of sapient non-equine beings. I shall endeavor to fulfill the task which Twilight has assigned me with my usual flair.
Charlie Yu is neither excessively endowed with intelligence nor morality. He was clearly a poor student and also obviously a carouser and cad of a rather low sort, one who seeks out unfortunate females lacking in confidence and self-respect for the purpose of taking romantic advantage of them. His culture in general seems rather more libertine regarding such matters than Equestria, rather like the Fast Sets which proliferate in some major cities, but for the most part he seems to have been rejected by the females of his species, and I suspect with good reason on their parts.
The tragic story he told about that unfortunate young female who made the mistake of actually liking him, and hence permitting him certain liberties to which he was not entitled, well, his attempt to pretend that he had nothing to do with her makes it rather blatant that he was a cad, does it not? He also had no shame for his abandonment of her affections; he clearly thought he was behaving well by repudiating her!
Also of interest is Mr. Yu's obvious inability to engage in anything like an accurate self-appraisal. He was a poor student who imagines he was an excellent one; a starer, noser and rustler who imagined his manners smooth, and I would take everything he has said with a grain of salt.
His fashion sense is abominable. I have followed his directions in making him suits of clothes, as the customer is always right, but I will say privately that in this case he was not right. I truly do not need the publicity of having clothed him; indeed, I would not mind if this were treated as a Secret of the Realm and classified as such for a century. Or longer.
I append a detailed discussion of exactly how his fashion sense might be improved. Sadly, he cannot draw very well, nor is he adept at more verbal sorts of communication, so it is hard to understand his descriptions of the normal attire of his world.
As Always, Your Loyal Subject,
Rarity Belle